Arghh! Please tell me how great 2 under 2 is...

[panickinglady]

Whoops! I'm pregnant with DC2. DD1 is only just 1. Bit of an accident. I've namechanged for this as I'm not ready to tell people yet.

I'm not sure I can cope with this! Long term another child seems great - I just don't know if I can cope with another pregnancy, birth, screaming baby all with a tantrummy toddler.

I feel weirdly guilty about DD - like she hasn't had enough time on her own with us yet.

I know lots of people have 2 kids this young... please tell me it will be ok... (gibber).

[LooL00]

It'll be fine, hard work but fine. My ds and dd are now 5 and 3 (16 months apart) and adore each other.

[katylou25]

My 2 boys are 19 months apart - now 5 and 3 1/2 and it is fab - they've been best friends since the moment ds2 could crawl and are inseperable. Ds2 just fell into place int he family because we were already doing bathtime etc with ds1 and he just had to fit in - also didn't need much entertaining - loved just sitting and watching ds1 toddle about. Am now expecting dc3 with a much larger age gap (wanteda smaler gap again but it just didn't happen) and think this will be much harder as we've moved on from all the baby stuff and it's almost like starting again.

[panickinglady]

Thanks for this. Hadn't considered the slotting into the routine aspect.

How did you prepare the existing child? Did they have any understanding at all of what was going on?

[Nymphadora]

MIne are 21 months apart and they are really good friends. It was hard at first because it is with a baby but dd1 loved helping and loved 'playing' with dd2.

[Playingatmotherhood]

I can't answer the thread but just wanted to let you know I am in the same position.

DS1 turned 1 on Thursday and I am currently 6 weeks pg. It was planned but rather quicker than we imagined! I am currently telling myself it will all be fine and its a great age gap. DS1 still has 2 good naps a day so I get time to rest, he will be walking by the time I am heavily pg but is small and light now so picking him up currently is no problem and the small gap should make them great playmates. DC2 will just have to fit into DS1 life, rather than the other way round.

Oddly its something I don't feel guilty about, DS1 is the only grandchild on both sides and I was more worried about him being spoilt by being the centre of everyones universe for too long. Having to share us with another child will be good for him and as he is such a sociable child it will give him a much needed playmate. Its going to be hard work but I am sure it will be worth it in the end!

[tabbycat7]

They'll both sleep in the day, with any luck at the same time.

You can put them both to bed early.

DD1 is unikely to be jealous because she'll be too little.

You'll get through the pooy nappy stage quickly, instead of it being pread out like there is with bigger age gaps.

You'll get maximum use out of your double buggy. No putting it away when it's hardly been used.

They'll grow up together and be really close.

If you have another girl, they might like doing the same things together for ages.

[panickinglady]

Thanks guys. The tide of panic is beginning to reside (for now, I suspect!). I appreciate it.

[Scotlian]

Hello panickinglady don't panic! There are many of us in the same boat and am sure we will be fine. I started this thread, come join us:-)

[schneebly]

Try not to worry too much - I have 2 boys who are 17 months apart and they absolutely adore each other. Having a baby with one still so young can be much less of an adjustment as you have been doing the baby 'thing' very recently. Also I found that as DS1 was still so young he didn't really go through the jealous, pinching the baby thing. I found that they eventually fell into a simultaneous afternoon nap which was great. I had to be much more organised but really the worst thing about it was paying for 2 lots of nappies

Now they are 6.5 and 5 and help each other and keep each other entertained wonderfully making life much easier for me!

You will be fine - it will be lovely

[panickinglady]

Oh Scotlian thanks for that link/thread! At least I know other people feel the same as me - that always helps.

Yes. Lovely. Lovely.

[farri]

I also have 2 boys 11 months apart and its getting a lot easier. I wont lie its difficult to begin with especially if you are constantly breastfeeding! but now my little one is 16 months and ds1 is 27 months they are best friends.

I must admit I felt guilty too that I hadn't spent any time with DS1 but my DH always said you have given him a best friend for life!

I also believe that the key is routine makes life much easier!

[LittleSilver]

It's great. So much so I am trying to do it all over again!

[BigTillyMint]

My 2 are 19 months apart.

TBH, the easiest bit was when no. 2 (DS) was born. He just lay there watching DD play

[IndigoSky]

I have just 12 months between mine.

It was hideous to begin with (zero family around to help) but I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way. They are 5 and 4 and a delight - they have a fantastic relationship with each other. Ok, they sometimes fight but 90% of the time they are brilliant. Jealously was never ever an issue for us either. I feel sorry for parents with big gaps as I think that's harder work once you get passed the first 18 months!!

Congratulations.

[aristocat]

panickinglady
don't panic!

honestly it is fabulous.

my two are 7 and 5 yo now, age diff is 2yr and 5 days. they adore each other - there are sibling quarrels of course but we couldn't have planned it any better

[4andnotout]

I have 13 months between dd3 and dd4 and it has been the easiest gap yet, you will already be used to sleepless nights, nappies etc so it just rolls on when the newborn arrives.

My dd3 and dd4 are now 2 and 16mo and they play together fantastically and are really close, they won't go to bed until they have given eachother a kiss etc.

I sometimes feel guilty that dd3 didn't have long being the baby of the family but I think we have actually overcompensated at times.

It will be fine and congratulations on your pregnancy

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

It's great- 17 months between my 2, means they are into the same things at roughly the same age, much easier than ds, who is 2 1/2 yrs younger again, and can't join in the same activities, iyswim. My two girls fight like cat and dog, but are always there for each other, now 6 and 4. Congratulations!

[PanicMode]

I can relate to your namechange - my username relates to our very surprise number 4!!

I have a 15 month gap between my eldest two and it was wonderful - hard work, but fantastic as they are so close but I never had any issues with jealousy, wasn't used to nappy free days, still didn't reliably get a full night's sleep etc, and DD just slotted in with the routine - in fact I did, and still do, treat them a bit like twins. It is a fab gap, honestly.

I will have 24 months between 3 and 4 and that's probably a harder gap as DS2 is SO strong willed, hates being in the buggy, likes to have lots of attention, and as the older two are at school in the day, he gets me to himself - so I'm worried about his nose being put out of joint....

Congratulations!!

[welshandproud]

Congratulations! I've got 15 months between DC2 and DC3 and then 13 months between DC3 and DC4. At the moment all 3 under 3 are still in nappies and believe it or not this is easier at the moment then the constant trips to the toilet/potty that will be needed soon!
All 3 of mine are very close. They even play together at times which is amazing as they are so young and developmentally really should be playing along side each other. I'm sure there will be tough times ahead but at the moment life is pretty good here. We need to be super organised to get out of the house with buggies,slings and reins etc and my changing bag is more like a weekend bag these days!
The downside is my housework suffers but i've got over any feelings of inadequacy by lowering my expectations. I make a jobs list for the week and tick off what i can and DP and DD1(11) help out when they can.I've also managed to train them to sleep at roughly the same time every day which is a lovely 2 hours for me!
It's a precious time that needs to be enjoyed at it soon becomes a distant memory. Play together as much as you can.

[toja555]

That is probably pregnancy hormones? I am preggie for 6 weeks and there will be 2.5 years difference when my DC2 will be born. Now the funniest part: although our DC2 was planned thinking of a ?perfect age gap? between the two, I am now dreading not less than you and thinking how will I cope emotionally, physically, financially etc. I am now thinking ?We should have waited a bit longer to have a DC2!?
However, I think it is just hormones playing up and I am sure as soon as DC2 is born I will be very happy and it will fit into our family very well.
Relax

[panickinglady]

Thanks everyone. Good to hear your stories.

[MammyG]

Hellew! My 2 are 16 mths apart. The first 16 weeks are a bit hectic until DC2 gets into a more regular routine. After that it gets easier. As everyone else has said you are already in baby mode so thats one shock you dont have to deal with. And I found there was no jealousy at all.
The first year is exhausting but there are some moments of pure bliss too. Now my two are 3 & 2 and are peas in a pod! They are the best buds and have so much fun together. Its so easy to entertain them and do things with them. In fact I have trouble separating them to get one on one time! So though it may tire you a bit and test your patience a lot you are giving them a wonderful gift! Enjoy the mayhem!