When to tell people?

[Nymphadora]

Was going to wait untilafter the dating scan but found out today that I will be 13 weeks by then and people will have guessed!

So we decided that I have to tell my boss in next week or two as I need to change some of my work.and get her to keep it quiet

But when do I tell my kids? I want them to know before friends & family so do I wait & risk others guessing?

[jollyma]

Did you show early with your other kids? By 13 weeks people prob won't be sure enough to ask!

What would you tell your kids if it doesn't work out, are they old enough to guess you're upset?

[Nymphadora]

8&10 so both know when I'm upset. They know babies die as they have seen my sisters grave.

Showed early with dd2 & it's supposed to get earlier & when morning sickness kicks in people will guess.

Am so bloated at the moment I look 6 months now!

[Sarahlou8]

My children are a similar age (9 & 11) and I told them last time at about 7 weeks as I felt so sick all the time and they were worried. They were old enough not to say and were very good. We told most other people after my scan at 9 weeks.
however I mc'd at 15 weeks, horrible for all of us.
I'm now 5+3 and wondering when to tell them this time. It seems too early, but they are both aware we want to try again and both obviously know how things can go wrong.

I'm like you, I want them to be the first to know, but it can't be so early as to be terrible if the news slipped out! Good luck

[Nymphadora]

I'm only 6 weeks now so don't want the world to know but would like them to. Dd2 would be v rxcicited and can't keep secrets so i've no chance!

Sarahlou are you on the antenatal thread for October? Haven't learnt everyone there yet

[toodleypip]

Well I am only very early on (2-3 weeks) so am waiting a couple of weeks more before telling everyone. Am thinking of holding out til Mothers Day (14th March) to tell our Mums, and then others will follow.

Might be a nice day to tell your DC's too?

We have a few occasions coming up too which are going to be tricky to cover it up for too long.

With my first we told everyone at a similar stage.

[Nymphadora]

Part of me wants to hold out til our holiday (2nd April) but that still makes 12 weeks.

not up to any decisions at the moment!

[MammyG]

Am 10 weeks and just dying to tell people. with previous 2 pregnancies I waited til 12-14weeks. but for other reasons feel I am more actively lying and covering up this time round and I hate it! Would like to have it out in the open but them am so worried about tempting fate and having other people look at me with 'oh youre a bit early with the news' faces! Conundrum!

[brockleyD]

Hi, I am 6.5 weeks and have already told a couple of friends and my direct family. My attitude is that is something was to happen I would want their support but I wouldn't want strangers to prey at work etc so keeping it quiet there. However, I am an art teacher and will have to tell my director at 10 weeks as on my 11th week we have a large departmental show, which involves a lot of hands on labour in putting it up, which I want to avoid....

Sometimes you have to tell people earlier even if you don't want too.

Good luck and congratulations!

D

[Sarahlou8]

Hi nymphadora yes, I'm on the October thread but I only joined last week, I'm still nery nervous about things going wrong.

I love the idea of telling close family and a few friends, but you haven't met my family! They just cannot cannot keep their mouths shut! It's lovely that they are so excited, but I can't face the whole world knowing so soon!

The problem I have is I hate lying and we made no secret that we would try again in the new year, so people keep asking 'any news yet'.
Well, I can say 'no, no news yet' honestly can't I - but if someone asks me outright, I haven't got that one covered!

[Petsville]

We're not planning to tell anyone at all, even our families, till the 20-week scan (but we don't have other children which makes it easier). So far no-one's noticed anything (I'm 15+5 now).

[Nymphadora]

I think the no children is significant! I bet you even have stomach muscles

Dh has now gone to the other extreme of 'shall we tell them at the weekend' but have talked him out of it, still thinking of the holiday but will see what happens!

Telling my boss on Monday as we are having a team meeting and are doing the team risk assessments. If I tell her she can ensure the pregnant staff one gets done then as there is loads to do and won't get that much time.

[confuddledDOTcom]

I've never held off telling people when I was pregnant. I've lost babies at various stages of pregnancy and I wanted support when I did. I think it would have been harder to have to tell people who didn't know I was pregnant that I'd miscarried.

[musicposy]

I've told my two (14 and 10) right from the pregnancy test. I'm very close to them and it would have been impossible not to. But I have told them not to get too excited, that it's very early days and the outcome is never certain, especially when you're older, like I am. It does mean they've been very helpful because they know.

[Nymphadora]

Do they keep it quiet?

I don't want my two to get overexcited and tell everyone and then later have to say that the baby had died.

[LooL00]

I am 21 weeks and we have only just told most adults. we have not told ds(5) and dd(3) as they will expect baby tomorrow. we will tell them in a few weeks or if they ask.

[legallyblond]

I told my parents and DH's parents at 6.5 weeks... I am now 9 weeks and have told my two closest friends. I don't plan on telling anyone else until at least 14 weeks... if I am showing (I suspect/hope I won't be - its my first) people will jst have to assume I've put on a couple of pounds! So far, I haven't gained any weight at all, so I doubt I can get that big in the next 4 weeks! Can I???!