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what you REALLY want to say when asked "how are you?" but don't!

(155 Posts)
heth1980 Mon 08-Feb-10 10:43:46

All throughout my pregnancy (am nearly 37 weeks) people have been asking me how I am and i always say "fine thanks". I've been a bit more honest recently and have even admitted to being a bit tired to a couple of people, but what I really want to say is:

1) I'm so tired I can't think straight anymore
2) I feel like someone has deposited a concrete boulder in my pelvis and it's slowly splitting me in 2
3) I am SICK of going for a wee
4) I cannot get comfy no matter what I try
5)I am scared of having to give birth again
6)I am scared I won't be able to cope with an oppinionated toddler and a newborn
7) I am scared that my piles will get so big they will take over the world.

anyone else like to tell me how they really are?

Karrierbag Mon 08-Feb-10 11:00:58

1. Scared out of my brain because there's a chance my waters broke 2 weeks ago and I may have to be induced in another 2 weeks

2. Feeling like shit due to lack of sleep

3. Sick and tired of being sick.. At 35 weeks I thought it would've stopped!!

4. Like I have the hangover from hell


amyboo Mon 08-Feb-10 11:26:46

I'm 32 weeks, and would love to say any of the following:

1. Worrying myself sick that baby won't turn in time and I'll have to have a c-section (first baby, would much prefer vaginal delivery).
2. Unable to concentrate on anything work-related for more than about 2 minutes at a time.
3. Exhausted and fed up of waking at 4am.
4. Fed up of people telling me my bump is huge and I'm going to have a big baby. This does not help with the worry.

My husband is about the only person keeping me sane at the moment smile

stressheaderic Mon 08-Feb-10 11:31:42

I'm 37 weeks + 3.
Pissed off, intolerant of everything and everybody, can't be arsed with even the simplest of tasks eg. housework, uncomfortable all the damn time, getting battered with big kicks in my ribs, and really wouldn't be bothered if baby came today even though it's a bit too early.

And yet, I still say "fine thanks" too...

MummyTumble Mon 08-Feb-10 11:32:58

I'm knackered, in pain all day every day and night and have been for 15 weeks and have at least 7 to go....(spd), scared of the birth (even though dc4), scared in case baby goes in scbu like ds, miserable....blah blah blah

smile just great then smile

MummyTumble Mon 08-Feb-10 11:35:50

and i say...."not bad...hips and back a bit annoying"

I'm in the mood to be a right miserable cow today and tell everyone just how bloody crap and sore i'm feeling sad

FluffyCoo Mon 08-Feb-10 11:46:14

[waves to stresshead]

Umm, 39 +3 and just peachy thanks...

Knackered. Have been cheated out of the first potential lie-in of my Mat leave by bloody Argos and their bloody furniture delivery - phoning the house at 6:45am to let me know they were on their way... when would that EVER happen if you actually needed them to turn up early...?

Bored. Want to do stuff with my day, but have to wait around for midwife to visit - no idea what time he's coming or in fact if he's even remembered that he's supposed to come.

Moan, moan, moan grin

Morloth Mon 08-Feb-10 11:58:14

My back aches, I have stabbing twanging issues with my cervix, my tummy is covered in what can only be referred to as "fur", I smell funny, I can smell EVERYTHING, I have a headache and I am tired.


What I actually say? Fine thanks, a bit tired...you?

gothgirl77 Wed 10-Feb-10 11:19:47

Love this thread!

29 weeks and my standard response is 'oh fine thanks, everything coming along much as expected'

Which means..
My back and ribs hurt constantly, I'm having the bejaysus kicked out of me most of the time, feeling groggy, smell everything in the world, sick of getting up to go to the loo every five seconds, my skin and lips are so chapped I look like an unwrapped mummy (of the kind you find in a pyramid), my hair is grizzled and I feel faint most of the time. Tap water makes me feel sick and I can't settle down with a nice vat glass of wine at the end of a long and hard week.

Ah, that felt good.. grin

Message withdrawn

BulletProofMum Thu 11-Feb-10 11:08:21

The baby feels as if it is trying to claw its way out through my cervix and someone has armed it with a pair of pinking shears.

... goes down well with male collegues.

I can't sleep for more than 60 min at a stretch
I am beginning to remeber that it's goign to bloody hurt
I am not capable of lookign after 3 children

roary Thu 11-Feb-10 11:35:59

I no longer pretend to be polite. 34 weeks and:

1. Heartburn/reflux so bad it makes me vomit (despite drugs for it)
2. Unable to eat dinner at all without feeling vomitous so have smoothies.
3. No, I am not huge. No, I am not tiny. I AM NORMAL, thanks.
4. Complete pregnancy brain, take your Australian study and screw it
5. Can't bend over to play with toddler, sweep the floor, or pick things up (hmmm, perhaps not always a bad thing)
6. Can't go for walks without needing to take a rest
7. COnstantly breathless
8. Mysterious stabbing pain in ribs that keeps getting me referred for various tests even though I KNOW I am fine.

I do feel a bit badly when people say "You look great! Are you feeling better?" and I say NOOOO! but I am not going to lie any more.

crankytwanky Thu 11-Feb-10 12:50:47

Ooh me likey this thread.

I don't even bother saying I'm fine any more. I sat at my desk yesterday saying "I wanna go hooommmmme" in the style of a toddler.

-I ache all over.
-I cannot bend down. I made DH pick up a chip under the dining table this morning I had been looking at since Monday.blush
-I am tired.
-I have varicose veins everywhere!
-My lips are bloody disgusting too, gothgirl.
-MIL has moved house and given us some furniture, which I am V. grateful for but I can't move it to the right place. And it needs painting. So house looks like a squat.
-My nose won't stop running.
-I am so tired!
-My lady garden has overgrown.
-I am walking like an old lady. No offence to old ladies but this morning I walked to the shower with my body at a right angle & one hand in the small of my back.
-Did I mention that I'm feeling a little sleepy?

I'll be back with more....grin

Rindercella Thu 11-Feb-10 13:07:21

I'm 34 weeks...

My whole body aches.

Heartburn wakes me constantly in the early hours and is agony.

I too have varicose veins in places where I never knew you could actually have varicose veins.

It's a struggle to bend down to pick anything up.

I get out of breath just walking up the stairs. When I clean the house I have to do it in teeny tiny sections.

I have had enough of supermarket shopping and lugging heavy bags about. Ocado here I come...

I don't feel like sex any more, sorry DH.

I am quite liking the bed to myself as DH is away - I would quite like this to continue, just for the moment!

I wish I was closer to 30 than 40 - in fact I will be celebrating my 40th birthday a few short weeks after giving birth.

But hey, everyone keeps bloody telling me how well I am looking hmm

Thanks for the thread - tis good to moan talk!

Morloth Thu 11-Feb-10 13:14:04

roary that Australian study was utter bullshit wasn't it?

I like to think I am pretty sharp, I set up new companies for goodness sake!

Yeah, when pregnant we have keys in the freezer, ovens left on, water spilled on the floor staying there (because when I went to get a cloth I forgot about it), DS taking the wrong kit to school, walking along the street to do errands and suddenly having no idea where I am, where I am going and why, I forgot how to drive and so on and so forth.

Had it last time as well, it isn't perception, I get thick. I had to start my maternity leave early because I was making big mistakes at work (the sort that can end up costing the company millions, if I could have focussed I would have!).

howdidthishappenthen Thu 11-Feb-10 13:19:46

"Yeah, good thanks, all as expected"

for which read
"37+5, REALLY pissed off that I have to have a c-section.

Worried DH will be bored of looking after me within a week and I'll be fighting my corner for the next 3 weeks that I really CAN'T carry DS1 to nursery/pick up the shopping/take teh car to get petrol etc etc..)

Dreading MIL arriving with 17 messy bags of crap and staying for at least 4 days longer than she's welcome, whislt I'm housebound and can't get away.

Not in the SLIGHTEST agreeing that 'the good thing about a c-section is at least you know when the babies coming'. Yeah right. Like prisoners-of-war should look on the bright side when they find an extra weevil in the porridge.

SkaterGrrrrl Thu 11-Feb-10 13:31:59

I'm 7 weeks with #1 and here are my grouses (grice?)

Really miss falling alsleep next to DH - I'm going bed 4 hours earlier than him.


Sick of lying to my friends about why I won't go out with them.


Huge boobs (nice) which really really hurt (not nice).


Getting out of lovely toasty bed 6 x a night for a pee in the arctic bathroom.

crankytwanky Thu 11-Feb-10 14:20:38

Oh yes I'm sick of the peeing thing too.
Would be easier to just fit a catheter.

I'm fed up having one pair of trousers I'm comfy in, and seriously miffed I've just got bleach on those!
I can't stand waistbands!

I have taken to swigging Gaviscon from the bottle.

Driving is uncomfortable. I used to enjoy it.

DUB feels like it's dipping a toe leg into my vagina.

Sooo off sex, so DH wants pleasure by other means. Never been a problem before, but this time IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

It's a lovely day, but I can't do any gardening!<<whimper>>

zapostrophe Thu 11-Feb-10 14:23:09

Message withdrawn

AmesBS7 Thu 11-Feb-10 14:57:26

I am 37 plus 4 and always say "Oh, I have been really lucky thanks, nothing dreadful".

What I actually think is:
- please let this baby come asap so I can sleep on my back and sit back on my sofa again
- some sleep that lasts longer than 3 hours without waking up would be nice, but I guess this won't happen anytime soon after the baby comes
- acid reflux is really painful, in a way I had never appreciated before
- I weigh more than our really chunky builder DH best mate. The loo actually creaks when I sit on it
- my pelvis feels like it will split in two sometimes
- 'fake labour' contractions wake me up if I try to lie down much during the day (really painful ones - have to get up, move around, moan a bit!)
- horrbly worried about getting too worried, which apparently slows down labour, thereby making 'intervention' more likely.

But 'eyes on the prize' keeps me going, as does ASDA's delivery service!

BettyButterknife Thu 11-Feb-10 15:06:37

If I'd been asked yesterday I'd say that I sneezed and a bit of wee came out.

And I really, really miss sleeping on my front.

Terrified of catching chicken pox and swine flu.

But when I'm actually asked, I say 'fine, thanks' hmm

yama Thu 11-Feb-10 17:00:50

1) I am so grumpy and bad tempered that I am sick and tired of myself.

2) I miss wine and I miss looking forward to wine.

I am only 12 weeks + 2.

Long way to go ...

needmoreenergy Thu 11-Feb-10 17:07:49

What i think is how on earth will i continue to pay the utility bills if i cannot make it work going back to work after number 2 has reached 6 months (and 6 months is the maximum my employer will tolerate). Husband pays mortgage, I pay bills, there is no way he is going back on that arrangement, and I am not sure I will be able to afford 2 lots of nursery and bills, but if i cannot make it work (and go back to work) then how on earth am i going to pay the utility bills?? Help help help..... is what i think, but of course don't say

MrsJamin Thu 11-Feb-10 17:08:00

At 34+5wks I would like to say the following

1) I generally wake up at 4-5am then just as I might drop off to sleep again my 2 YO DS wakes up - so I'm generally knackered even before it's light
2) I have some kind of urine infection still (I think)
3) the antibiotics I was on to counteract no.2 have given me really painful thrush
4) I have had really bad lower back pain for the last week
5) 3 + 4 means it hurts to move in any way possible.

However I left my job today so I am trying to look on the bright side!

passionberry Thu 11-Feb-10 17:13:43

When I put my hand on my bump and feel the baby's foot/hand sliding across my insides, it scares the bejeesus out of me!

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