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Anyone else emotional after you found out the sex?

(15 Posts)
chocolatequeen Fri 08-Jul-05 17:35:29

Just had our 21 week scan, and found out we are expecting our second boy. So excited, really pleased as was secretly hoping for a boy rather than a girl, but now find myself feeling really sad and tearful. My DH is totally sure that he only wants to have 2 children, and I agree with him in the main part, but part of me feels sad that I will never have a daughter I guess. Always wanted to have 2 boys, never really that interested in girly things but somehow when it was all a hypothetical question I didn't expect to feel like this. Now super scared that deep down I really wanted a girl and will not love our new son as much. Just a bit frightened and sad now - anyone else ever felt the same?

fishfinger Fri 08-Jul-05 17:36:25

i felt weird that I coudlnt organie the gender of my kids
but not sad it was aboy

aloha Fri 08-Jul-05 17:39:07

iwas quite pleased that dd was dd - shopping is good - but yes i think is normal. once we finally decided on dd's name (long mn thread!) fel v sad i wouldn't have girls with all the other lovely names - and yes felt a twinge with dd that ds wouldn't have a brother. it will be ok.

Twiglett Fri 08-Jul-05 17:43:22

when I went for 20 week scan with DS I really wanted a girl and was a touch disappointed tbh

when I went for scan with DD I really wanted another boy and again felt the disappointment

I think I'm just a contrary PITA to be honest

wouldn't change either of them for the world .. and believe that is the normal state of affairs .. the tears are almost like grieving for the potential of the child that could have been .. give it about 3 days you'll be ecstatic

Miaou Fri 08-Jul-05 17:47:42

Not criticising, but this is why I didn't want to find out the sex of any of mine in case I reacted in a way I hadn't predicted. I've got two dds and expecting my third baby in three weeks - I had a lot of anxiety earlier in pregnancy about how I would feel if it was a boy as I don't think I would have been that happy. But since I don't know, and will only find out when I have a baby in my arms and incidentally it's a boy/girl, I think I will be happy whatever it is. I felt it would be harder to get my head round the sex of the baby in the abstract IYSWIM.

Pinotmum Fri 08-Jul-05 17:48:40

When I was pregnant with my 2nd dh really wanted a boy and I didn't mind what sex I was carrying. I was told it was a boy and got a bit choked as I knew dh would be sooo pleased (but not to the point he would have been disappointed if it was a girl iykwim). I was quite surprised at my reaction!

chocolatequeen Fri 08-Jul-05 17:57:43

Thanks twiglett - think that's exactly what I'm feeling.

Know what you mean miaou - was in 2 minds whether to find out or not. Decided to just because I am so terrified of suffering from PND (no family history, didn't get it with first one), or basically any mental health problems, and was frightened that if subconsciously I was hoping for/expecting one sex, and got the other, then that would be enough to send me over the edge into a depression. Never heard of this happening, I just wanted to make sure that I was as prepared as I could be IYSWIM.

Think I also feel a bit funny as PIL decided to give us some pink flowery new born baby shoes about a month ago and said that they wanted a girl (not the most tactful people ever...), so I'm feeling a bit protective now over the baby that he will be wanted less because he is another boy.

rodeo1 Fri 08-Jul-05 18:09:55

Yes definitely, I posted on another thread that my MIL says 'you always feel for the baby you didn't have'

When I had dd I felt for the little boy I didn't have and when I had ds I felt for dd2 I didn't have!

No I'm sure in a couple of days, probably hours, this will have passed and all your dreams will be filled with your georgeous boy to come!

Congratulations BTW and great to hear from you, you'll have to catch up with us on the Nov post soon x x x

Redhelen Fri 08-Jul-05 18:13:53

It's an emotional rollercoster.

I found out I was having a girl a couple of months ago - I have a 5 year old son.

I know my relatives will be pleased and shocked -as my dh's family are all boys. All the same I look at pictures of my ds as a baby and wonder if I can feel the same love for a dd (pathetic as I'm sure I will) just that sons and mums have a special bond!

emmatmg Fri 08-Jul-05 18:45:02

Before I was PG with Ds3 I was desparate for another baby and that baby was going to be a girl. It honest did not cross my mind that it could be another boy until about 10 weeks PG.

We had a late scan at 34 weeks and I found it we were having a DS3(DH didn't want to know) and I was over the moon. I had the image of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" and my 3 boys all sitting in size order on the sofa.

I came out of the scan grinning from ear to ear and DH said "well, by the expression on your face I can see we've got a girl in there"

I managed to keep it a secret from him for about 45 minutes until he was begging me to tell him.

He didn't believe me because all along I'd been saying I wanted a girl.

So getting to the point, I wasn't emotional in a bad way but I was in a good way.

fireflyfairy2 Fri 08-Jul-05 18:49:26

We both cried when we were told it was a boy, as we already had a girl

And DH is the only son, he also has no male cousins as none of his uncles are married ~ so there wasn't really any pressure on us to produce a son and heir

Gem13 Fri 08-Jul-05 19:17:18

That irrational thinking is all part of pregnancy/giving birth.

I really, really wanted a boy. Realised he was a boy from the 20 week scan picture a week before his due date (neither of us had realised the evidence was there ) and was soooo pleased. Then when DS was born and they said 'it's a boy' I was delighted, then had a split second of almost weepiness that he wasn't a girl!

joash Fri 08-Jul-05 19:30:35

I didn't want to know what any of mine were going to be - but I just knew that my third was a boy.

anchovies Fri 08-Jul-05 19:41:25

I have a funny feeling I will feel the same way as you. We knew ds was going to be a boy after the 20 week scan and I honestly had no preference at all. I cried when I found out we were having a boy and when asked if I was pleased or upset i just said I didn't know I just wanted a baby! Whereas this time although I think I want another boy I know we won't be having anymore and I am so worried that we'll never have a girl. Its just strange that I don't even know which I want but I'm already setting myself up to not be pleased with whatever we get! I am sure it's just a momentary feeling and you will be over the moon once it's all sunk in and things have calmed down.

My PIL have also explained "they" want a girl next

chocolatequeen Fri 08-Jul-05 19:47:19

Thanks anchovies, so glad someone feels just the same. Wierd isn't it? And the PIL.. Can't wait to see them to give them the shoes back.... Hope they'll be embarrassed!

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