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OMG..I'm pregnant panic!

(19 Posts)
tigermouse Thu 26-Nov-09 11:19:51

Hi all, I'm new to all of this, so please bear with me. I can't tell anyone else and am having a total panic...help! I separated from my husband 2 years ago (but not divorced yet ..or even close...)..and have two gorgeous children fom this marriage (10 and 6)..I've had a boyfriend for the last year and he had been told that he can't have children (I've seen the results and everything!!)...but I've just found out that I'm pregnant... not flu or dying!! I know that there are so many people out there absolutely desperate for a baby, so I don't mean to sound selfish...but I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I've forgotten it all and my children are soo easy now..and what will people think? Should I embrace being the scarlet woman of the playground??winkWill the first 2 children be okay with it? My life just seemed to be getting back on track. Part of me isn't even sure that I should keep it..but having two already, I don't think that I could go through with that decision either...Am I just in normal shock? any words of wisdom to calm my racing heart would be gratefully received..x

FabIsVeryLucky Thu 26-Nov-09 11:21:21

Do you want the baby?

Does he?

Ignore everyone in the playground.

Your kids will love it.

Congratulations.

VinegarTits Thu 26-Nov-09 11:21:50

The shock is normal, congratulations smile

mrsjammi Thu 26-Nov-09 11:23:10

Message withdrawn

MmeLindt Thu 26-Nov-09 11:24:18

Congratulations.

Don't think about anything else except you and your DC and your partner. Can you see a baby in that family?

What does your partner think? Would this be his first child, if he has been told that he cannot have children?

How far on are you?

tigermouse Thu 26-Nov-09 11:30:01

Gosh..you're all quick typers! Thanks for the response, I'm starting to feel better already..if a little rusty! My BF is over the moon (I think..he's being calm because he knows that I'm shocked). The children know him and adore him..but my ex (who is not particularly nice) will be a complete nightmare and really try to punish me (even though we've not been together for so long), primarily financially. So I think I'm scared by that. And I was retraining, so it puts a bit of a strain on that. I just keep wondering whether the children will be happy and whether we will cope..I feel like I 'did' babies so long ago!

FabIsVeryLucky Thu 26-Nov-09 11:33:45

Don't tell your ex. Nothing to do with him.

VinegarTits Thu 26-Nov-09 11:36:40

You will cope, it was meant to be

MmeLindt Thu 26-Nov-09 11:41:16

My brother was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, but with the difference that his girlfriend was the one unable to conceive.

She has a child from a previous marriage, born after many years of TTC, and unsucessful IVF treatment. She was told that the chances of her conceiving again were very minimal, partly because of her age (she was 40yo) and her history.

When she fell pregnant, it was a huge shock but they both got used to it and my brother was over the moon. He had given up hope of ever having a child.

My niece (and Goddaughter) is now 18mths old and they are a lovely family. They got married this summer and are so so happy.

I wish the same for you too. (not necessarily the marriage if that is not what you want but the happiness with a new baby)

mrsjammi Thu 26-Nov-09 11:47:48

Message withdrawn

tigermouse Thu 26-Nov-09 11:49:05

Thank you all so much for your kind responses..it feels so much better just to have got it off my chest. I know that I should feel incredibly lucky after my boyfriend had given up hope of fatherhood..I guess we just need to get used to the idea now! It's only early days and I feel shocking already..back to the ginger biscuits, plain jacket potatoes and apples for me!

threeplusone Thu 26-Nov-09 11:53:06

Congratulations..
I had abig age gap between DD and DS.. my children are DD 13years old, DS1 5years old, DS2 2 years old and I am 28+5weeks pg with DS3..
Good luck hun.. Your children will be really excited at the thought of a new brother or sister..

aseriouslyblondemoment Thu 26-Nov-09 11:56:16

congratulations!smile
you will manage somehow because you've managed so far with bringing up your dcs on your ownsmile
what matters is that your BF loves and supports you and i'm sure that your dcs will be thrilled,lets face it they're that bit more independent now so i can imagine that it will be alot easier than if they were at the toddler/nursery stage
i also think that you will def.enjoy it alot more this time round as you're older and in a happy relationship,like the others i think that this is meant to besmile
look after yourself and keep us all updatedsmile
ps. a BIG 2 fingers from me to the playground patrol and tell your exh to grow up and move ongrin

badietbuddy Thu 26-Nov-09 14:45:34

I disagree about it being 'nothing to do' with your ex. There's obviously no need to tell him just yet, but I think it's a basic courtesy to let him know, as it will be somehthing that affects his children iyswim. I know I'd want to know if my ex was having a child with someone else so I could prepare my dd.

FabIsVeryLucky Thu 26-Nov-09 19:09:44

I knew someone would say that it was something to do with the ex. Not yet it isn't.

badietbuddy Thu 26-Nov-09 19:47:55

I did say that Fab hmm. But eventually, yes she will have to tell her ex. Or she should. His children are about to gain a sibling, which I'm sure he'd like to know about.

mrsjammi Fri 27-Nov-09 10:17:38

Message withdrawn

bronzekitten Wed 21-Sep-11 19:48:50

I know this is an old post but if anyone is reading and can offer advice I would really appreciate it. I separated from my husband 15 months ago and did not fuss over the divorce. We have stayed friends and I was just going to sort the paperwork out next June on grounds of separation. I have recently found out I am pregnant (9 1/2 weeks!) by my new boyfriend and I don't know where this leaves me legally or how to break the news to my ex. Please help!?

TheOriginalFAB Wed 21-Sep-11 19:54:21

BRONZE I suggest you start your own thread as your post could get missed.

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