I'm due to have my 12 week mw appointment at the ante natal clinic at hospital next week. I had an early scan to confirm dates so at this point will not be getting a 12 week scan. My question is how can they tell everything is going ok if there isn't a scan. I haven't told anyone & was going to wait until 12 week scan like in my previous pregnancy. Without the proof of a healthy bean in there I don't know if I will want to tell anyone but it's getting a bit hard disguising the fact. I had a dream last night that I was bleeding heavily & just don't seem to be confident about this pregnancy despite so far having no problems apart from ms.
It must be difficult but try not to worry too much. All they do at the 12 weeks scan is check how many babies there are, look for the heartbeat and date you. They will have been able to do all of those at your early scan, so wouldn't actually be looking for anything different if you were to have another scan at 12 weeks. If you're that anxious about it try asking your mw to refer you for a further scan - she may be willing to do it if you explain how worried you are.
I completely understand how you feel -- it wasn't real to me until I had my 12 week scan. I absolutely needed that reassurance.
I was told by my obstetrician that the 12 week scan is the most accurate for dating a baby's due date. Mine actually changed by 6 days from the scan I had at 7 weeks. Moreover, I would imagine that you would have the nuchal scan done to test for Downs or is that not offered by the NHS? I am going private so not sure what the differences are but can't imagine that you wouldn't be offered a scan at this stage?
At any rate, there is always the possibility of paying for a scan if you need that extra reassurance. A close friend delivered on the NHS but supplemented with two extra private scans for reassurance. Perhaps this could be a possibility for you should the midwife not be able to squeeze you in?
Don't they also check the nuchal fold measurement at the 12 week scan? I would have thought that they'd give you a scan, as I understood the tests for Down's had to be done before the end of the 13th week. You should definitely check this.
I had an early scan too which dated me and that meant I wasn't given a 12wk scan so I paid £70 to get one privately for peace of mind before 'going public'.
FWIW I could have chosen to have a nuchal scan at the local NHS hospital but would have had to pay £180 to the local NHS PCT for the privilege. I chose not to and my MW made me feel like I was a very irresponsible mother (in my 20's btw). Its a postcode lottery, its a shame cos few people round here could afford the £180.