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Another Child at 38?

(49 Posts)
LOOBYLOU2 Thu 16-Jun-05 13:26:04

I had my first baby at 35 and I am in a real dilemma about having another - I'm now 38
Older Mums out there please help

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:29:16

Like you, I had ds at 35, I'm 38 in July, having no 2 in December. What's not to like?

beansprout Thu 16-Jun-05 13:29:36

I was 35 when I had ds and am planning to have another, probably when I am about 38! What is your main concern about being 38? If your child will be loved then what's to stop you?!
Hope I am not being flippant, i don't mean to be. Wish you well with whatever you do!

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:30:37

38 is not Old, not even Older imo!

Lonelymum Thu 16-Jun-05 13:33:02

I had my first at 31 and my fourth at 39. i don't feel old to be having a baby although I sometimes feel old here. What is the problem?

mouseman Thu 16-Jun-05 13:34:03

I had dd at 34 and am now pg with no. 2. I am due on 11th December and will be 39 on the 17th December. The only thing this time around is that I am feeling more tired but that would probably be true for anyone pg and coping with a 4 year old!

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:41:43

mouseman hello, have not seen you on December thread, congratulations!

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:42:34

I don't feel old anywhere, what's wrong with me? in fact sometimes I don't even feel adult

hotmama1 Thu 16-Jun-05 13:44:46

I was 37 when I had dd last October. I am now 38 and nearly 8 weeks pregnant (assuming everything goes O.K) I will be nearly 39 when dd2/ds is born. What worries me more is coping with the only nearly 16 months age gap!

Apparently, there are more over 35's having babies than teenagers so you would be in good company

Yep there are more risks (I had a CVS last time and plan to this time - but a personal choice thing) but we are probably more settled, more financially secure? and more able to enjoy time with our little ones (I'm taking my full maternity leave).

My midwife thinks I'm a bit of a spring chicken as there are more over 40's having babies where I live - age is but a number!

LOOBYLOU2 Thu 16-Jun-05 13:46:22

I didn't have an easy pregnancy or birth first time round and the thought of all those tests again ...
I am working full time again now and my daughter (nearly 3)is at nursery
We're financially sound but I just have a fear of going through it all again, of coping ...
Totally groundless I think but it's there
If I could just have the baby without the rest!!!

milward Thu 16-Jun-05 13:48:31

Go for it LoobyLou2 - don't worry about your age.

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:49:26

it may not be so bad this time LL. I was OK with no1 then had a mc last year where I was very sick and ill but this time all is going really well and while I would not call myself blooming it's certainly no worse 3 years down the line in fact better since you know what to expect, are not trotting round doing unnecessary things like buying 'burping cloths' and are generally a lot more relaxed with the way your body changes.

hotmama1 Thu 16-Jun-05 13:49:27

Oh yes the birth - thought I had forgotten that pleasurable experience - not!

mancmum Thu 16-Jun-05 13:50:41

had my 2nd at 38 --- totally recommend it -- you are not old!! I had the same risk for DS etc as when I was 34 and the prgnancy was even easier... and now I am 40, i have 2 perfect kids -- and feel younger and better than ever!! DO IT!!

motherinferior Thu 16-Jun-05 13:51:09

Second births are usually (though not always) easier, honestly they are.

I was 37 when I had my first, 40 when I had my second.

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:51:44

'they' tell you the birth is easier
will let you know!

mancmum Thu 16-Jun-05 13:51:51

my mate is 37 having her first (of many, she hopes) and she is the youngest in her antenatal group -- oldest is 48 -- and it was natural!!

ninah Thu 16-Jun-05 13:52:38

Oh, x-posted MI, good to know!

bundle Thu 16-Jun-05 13:53:29

had my girls at 35 and 38. now the youngest is 2 they're playing really well together and it takes the pressure off you in a weird way. best "gift" I ever gave to dd1 was dd2, in spite of all the sleepless nights etc

LOOBYLOU2 Thu 16-Jun-05 13:54:11

urghhh 23hours and then the vacuum!
You know I still have everything - pram, clothes
car seat the lot!
Does that tell you something?
My husband would love another but says it's entirely my choice
I do - I don't I do - I don't
and that's how it's been since Christmas!

LadyPenelope Thu 16-Jun-05 13:55:08

I just had ds, my second lo at 38 ... I was a bit more tired this time around (during pregnancy) but have been coping fine with the interupted sleep, breastfeeding etc... probably better than last time. Don't let your age hold you back ... if you are otherwise healthly... go for it!

expatinscotland Thu 16-Jun-05 13:58:31

My gran didn't remarry till she was 30. She had her fifth at 40 and her sixth at 47 (had a first child in her teens by first husband, but they sadly died of Spanish Flu). And this was over 50 years ago!

Go for it!

aloha Thu 16-Jun-05 13:58:34

Do it! I had my first at 38 and my second - now four months old - at 41 and I don't feel old or tired (well no more than anyone else!).
Very very happy with my gorgeous children and would even consider a third if dh wasn't quite so frankly appalled by the prospect of a fourth child (I have a fabulous stepdaughter of 13 as well). I find two less trouble than one, if anything, as I am more relaxed, have more mummy friends and ds just worships his baby sister, who is a delight. I'm having a particularly good day today anyway, but it really is lovely, I think.
Face it, if you've kept the pram, you want another baby

aloha Thu 16-Jun-05 14:00:14

Btw I had a nuchal fold test same as anyone else at my hospital (Kings in SE London) and nothing else. She's beautiful and fine and HUGE (99.6th centile!).

Marina Thu 16-Jun-05 14:05:14

Ds at 35, dd at 40.
Also worked full-time after ds and again after dd (no choice).
It can be done, and as bundle says, seeing them play together - ours were devising a minute Playmobil "barbecue" (chargrilled scorpion and watermelon anyone) - together at 7am this morning, it took them ages - is worth all the hassle.
Sure there are more risks of things going wrong, but lots of us on here have made the decision and not regretted it...
go for it!

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