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Ages gaps between children?

(36 Posts)
Mimi1977 Mon 02-Nov-09 09:42:14

Just wondered what the age difference was between children for those of you on your second and third children?

DD is 14 months and I'm my biological urges are re-awakening as I'm getting ridiculously broody. Don't think I'll start till the new year as want to do it as carefully as I did the first time (folic acid and vits a few months before, coming off pill to get to know cycles etc)

I don't want any less that a 2 year gap just but there's a 4 year gap between me and my brother so don't want to leave it too long as we're not all that close now.

QueenMercury Mon 02-Nov-09 09:57:49

I've got 8 years between my ds1 and ds2, but now trying for dc3 so hopefully age gap will be 2 and 1/2 years this time.

I know 8 years gap is huge but I was never broody, after years of my dp nagging I finally went for it, and now after having ds2 I'm so broody I want a football team.

The gap can be difficult at times as my younger ds is quite demanding and older ds has to wait for my attention a lot, which I hate, I try to make lots of time for him after ds2 has gone to bed. Ds1 and ds2 adore each other but I do worry that they won't have much of a relationship as they grow older.

hairtwiddler Mon 02-Nov-09 10:19:51

I'm 37 weeks with DC2 and DD will be four early in the new year. Had around the same 4yr gap between me and my brother.
I was close to my brother when younger but certainly not when I became a teenager - then he was just a pest (poor boy!)
We got closer again when I left home at 17.
Such a personal thing... luckily we didn't have any problems conceiving so once we decided to have another it happened quickly. Just wasn't ready until I was ready though...

hairtwiddler Mon 02-Nov-09 10:21:16

I'm 37 weeks with DC2 and DD will be four early in the new year. Had around the same 4yr gap between me and my brother.
I was close to my brother when younger but certainly not when I became a teenager - then he was just a pest (poor boy!)
We got closer again when I left home at 17.
Such a personal thing... luckily we didn't have any problems conceiving so once we decided to have another it happened quickly. Just wasn't ready until I was ready though...

alana39 Mon 02-Nov-09 12:12:29

18 months between DS1 and 2 - then a 5 year gap (DC3 was due on Friday, still waiting!). The older 2 are a mixture of very close and very argumentative. My sister is about 3 years younger than me, which felt like loads when we were little but once we'd both grown up we got on really well, so I'm not convinced a 3-4 year age gap makes a difference in that respect, it's more about personality probably.

I would ignore anyone trying to put you off at any stage by mentioning the horror of 2 in nappies / 1 newborn with a toddler being trained etc. All irrelevant really, the phases they go through change so quickly, and just because one family found it hard doesn't mean you will. Just get on with it whenever you feel ready (and waiting until after Christmas sounds very sensible so you don't have to miss out on drink and cheese grin).

GertieGumboyle Mon 02-Nov-09 12:19:31

25 month age gap between my DS and DD, now seven and five respectively. They are either best friends or worst enemies - nothing in between. It's hard work, but it works for us overall. They are certainly close!

shelinka Mon 02-Nov-09 12:44:53

23 months between ds and dd. DC3 is due just after dd turns 3 and just before ds turns 5. I'm expecting it to be a bit crazy in our house for a while!

Maitri Mon 02-Nov-09 12:52:50

Eight years between ds and dd. They're really close and have a lovely relationship. Now trying for #3 - that'll mean a 14 year and 6 year gap between the two older children and the baby. Family circumstances were the only reason that contributed to such a big gap between them but I think that any age gap, big or small, can be really positive for different reasons. As other posters have said, I think it's all down to the children's personalities.

ilovesprouts Mon 02-Nov-09 12:54:37

i have 3 dcs 19,17 ,3

Maitri Mon 02-Nov-09 13:00:49

Oooh, sprouts - your post made ME feel better! ds (13) freaked when he saw the folic acid in the cupboard but has since calmed down considerably. I'm hoping it's his teenage angst and that if we do manage to conceive #3 that both dcs will form a bond with the babe. What was your experience? (Sorry, hope I'm not hijacking the post...)

PanicMode Mon 02-Nov-09 14:00:47

I have a 15 month gap between the first two (very close, but do fight a lot!), 3 year gap to number 3 and will have an almost exactly 2 year gap between 3 and 4.

A friend of mine has just had her second - her first is 6 and her son adores the baby, but I can't see how close they will be. however, one of the women in my antenatal group was 50, her daugher was 22 - so I imagine that would be a fairly tough gap to manage too!

underactivethyroidmum Mon 02-Nov-09 14:58:44

I'm expecting my second child in March when my DD will be 10 years and 8 months ! Her reaction when we told her was not one of horror at having a sibling but that her Dad and I had been doing 'that' at our age !!!blush

Claire2009 Mon 02-Nov-09 14:59:25

DD 18/02/06
DS 18/04/07

14mths to the day

skybluewinking Mon 02-Nov-09 15:18:15

I have a 6 year gap, dd is 23, ds is 17. They are really close, he has just been to visit her in Sheffield where she is doing a masters, for the weekend. He had a great time and really missed her when she went to Uni.

passionberry Mon 02-Nov-09 15:29:07

Me and my younger sister are 5 years apart and are really close.

My mum is also really close to her sister who is eight years younger than her.

I would say sibling relationships change over time during your life and also as someone else said, it depends more on personalities than anything else.

I am pregnant with my first and I do want more than one but I won't be concerned about age-gaps.

ilovesprouts Mon 02-Nov-09 18:48:23

hi my first two are from my pre relationship and dc3 is my hubys first ,now my dd and ds are having babys so gonna be a grannie april/may when told my older dcs they was gonna hve a new brother/sis they was so pleased dd is like his 2nd mum ,

Fruitbatlings Mon 02-Nov-09 18:58:23

I have a four year age gap between my two.

I wanted 2 years maximum but my body decided otherwise sad - blessing in disguise as DS1 adores DS2 and is old enough to understand how to share me smile

LackingNicknameInspiration Tue 03-Nov-09 04:54:46

Just about to have a 25-month gap, all being well, so hoping the positives carry on.

But wanted to agree with the comments that much is down to personality - I'm 3 years younger than my sis, 7.5 years older than my brother (so, 10.5 years between them) and we all get on brilliantly. Not always that way, sis and I got on really well til I was about 5 and then it went a bit pear shaped until we both left home (usual sibling rivalries). Sis and brother were very close from the off, I was fine with him when very little and then he was annoying kid brother for a while, but it was lovely to see him developing into a person in his teens and realising we had loads in common (especially as I was away at uni at the time). And the three of us are all really close now.

blondiep14 Tue 03-Nov-09 08:28:51

I am 30 weeks pregnant with no.2 who is due 3 weeks before DS turns 2! We wanted them close but I have been met with LOTS of comments telling me I'm nuts and how hard it's going to be!

PanicMode Tue 03-Nov-09 12:59:12

blondiep - I had a 15 month gap between my first two - and this time round, my number 3 will have JUST turned 2 by the time the baby arrives - you can imagine the comments I'm getting too.

(I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt printed with 1. Yes, we do have a tv, 2. Yes, I will have my hands full, 3. Yes, probably crazy, 4. Why is it any of your business anyway?)


flybynight Tue 03-Nov-09 13:15:04

I'm the same as you panicmode - I had my first three in under 3 years. A 14 month gap and then an 18 month gap. (Actually, at the time, we didn't have a TV)

This expected fourth one however, will have a six year age gap. It'll be like a little only child, just in dated hand-me-down clothes!

Morloth Tue 03-Nov-09 13:15:31

There will be almost 6 years between DS and my bump. We planned it this way, were not sure we wanted more than one at all and were very very sure we didn't want 2 little ones. I don't have that kind of energy/patience!

whensmydayoff Tue 03-Nov-09 13:27:15

I have a 2.5 year old and no. 2 due in 9 weeks (so 2.7). I swithered about it for months thinking 2 years would be nice (for them) but took a while to make my mind up! I have to say I am glad I waited that extra 6 months as since my DS turned 2, shortly after he was ready for potty training and out of nappies by 2.2. He also started to speak well and learn so much from 2-2.5. He now understands there's a baby bro or sis coming to him 'when the doctor decides he or she is big enough to come out'!
Im just glad I wasn't bogged down with a new born when he was suddenly learning so much and I had the patience to deal with it and also the time to enjoy it.
I obviously have no idea what it will be like until January but that's my experience so far. Good luck.

Mama2b5 Tue 03-Nov-09 14:20:55

hi my oldest DD is 15 ,DD is 9 and then baby on the way in Jan - the gap from my oldest is great because she can actually look after the baby and i wont have to get a babysitter! she cant wait but we will see when the baby comes how she will feel then! she wants to work with kids - haha

blondiep14 Tue 03-Nov-09 19:39:57

Haha, thanks Panic - I can only imagine what it's like for you!!
I think in a way it's good DS doesn't really get it - he's not jealous at all yet. Obviously he will be but at least it hasn't started before the baby actually arrives. We saw a little 4 week old baby today and he was everso sweet with her smile!

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