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stupid comments from colleagues

(36 Posts)
blackteaplease Fri 30-Oct-09 09:47:40

Why do people feel they can comment on the size of your bump?

I am 33+5 and have a large bump which is all out the front. I'm 5 foot 4 and pre-pregnancy was a size 8/10.

At least twice a day I am getting called fatty, huge, asking if I'm sure it's not twins, asking if I can get much bigger. It's really getting me down.

Does anybody have any advice/ witty comebacks for me before I explode in a hormone driven rage at the next person to say something?

Dragonfly73 Fri 30-Oct-09 09:56:48

how about "fuck off"?

or "i am pregnant, whats your excuse jumbo?"

iwascyteenagewerewolf Fri 30-Oct-09 09:59:34

Pitying look, followed by slow, sensible explanation of the facts of life (using small words so that they can understand it).

Although tbh 'fuck off you tedious twat' is much more appealing.

Unfortunately though, being pregnant seems to be an instant passport to a lifetime of people making stupid comments. It doesn't stop once the baby's arrived.

blackteaplease Fri 30-Oct-09 10:05:43

Thanks ladies, DH's preferred response is also "fuck off" but I thought I might try for a more restrained response first.

iwascyteenagewerewolf Fri 30-Oct-09 10:14:22

It's such a redundant thing to say to a pregnant woman,'oh look, you're huge!' It's like saying 'oh look, the sky is blue'. Pointless inane drivel that doesn't go anywhere.

BumptiousandBustly Fri 30-Oct-09 11:15:47

How about - "Thanks, I always wanted someone to tell me I was fat!" - Might get the point across without any actual swearing. I get this too and I HATE it.

iwascyteenagewerewolf Fri 30-Oct-09 11:19:16

Or look down at yourself and act all shocked - "WTF? How did that happen? WHAT'S GOING ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD??????????" while grabbing their lapels and thrusting your panic-stricken face up against theirs. Then sneer and walk away.

ClaraDeLaNoche Fri 30-Oct-09 11:20:05

For every person who told me I wad enormous, there was a kindly person who told me "Oh you're so trim, you haven't out on weight anywhere else" which was bollocks, but nice.

JuliaGulia Fri 30-Oct-09 11:38:16

I'm pregnant with twins and someone i bearly knew actaully asked me if it was a natural conception or though IVF!

As if I 'm going to tell them! (it was natural btw.)

'Congratulations' would have been so much more appropriate.

brightonpebble Fri 30-Oct-09 11:48:38

People always told me I was enormous while I was PG. And I was, unbelievably huge considering it was just one baby. I just shrugged my shoulders and gave a wan smile. I was just so glad to finally be pregnant I didnt care what size I was.

People are rude. But enjoy your bump.

Tomatefarcie Fri 30-Oct-09 11:55:06

Mil People have been on and on telling me how heeeeeoooooge I am (with a shock face), so now when Mil asks me, I simply answer "oh fine, everything is measuring spot on for the dates, thank you".

I agree that "Fuck off" would be so...liberating!

midnightsun Fri 30-Oct-09 12:40:25

I'm identifying with you, at 5'2" there is nowhere for the baby and belly to grow but outwards.

"Yes, it's weird this but lots of people like you find it tricky to know exactly what to say to a pregnant person. Just talk to me the same way you used to before I changed shape." a good and honest response to any daft remark relating to bump size, planned or un-planned or anything else related to the pregnancy, I find!

ihavenewsockson Fri 30-Oct-09 12:47:51

"at least mine isn't permenant" pointed look at them

blackteaplease Fri 30-Oct-09 13:32:18

There are some brilliant responses here, am taking lots of notes.

humanfraggle Fri 30-Oct-09 13:35:11

I've not had this yet, I think I'm doing well at disguising my bump at work, but yesterday my colleague did say to me:

"did you eat this much before you were pregnant?" shock

I nearly threw my custard doughnut at her...

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 30-Oct-09 13:41:30

How about smiley sweetly and then ask if they are sure they want to make a comment that is covered by sex discrimination, afterall they can never say that too a man can they wink

Caitni Fri 30-Oct-09 14:16:08

Y'know a colleague said this to me today - "Are you sure it's not twins? That's such a big bump you have there!"

I was utterly horrified and 22 weeks and have been feeling big but am assured I look "pregnant" rather than plain massive (admittedly by my husband and friends, who know I'd probably cry if they said I looked massive blushgrin). I actually told him that's the most horrible thing you can say to a pregnant woman - it's hard enough dealing with a changing body shape without someone (particularly a man) tell you just look plain massive.

In fairness, the two blokes who sit on either side of him had reactions along the lines of "er, yeah mate she's right...can't believe you actually said that - never say things like that to a pregnant women" (fwiw, none of these guys have kids).

This is the first time someone's said something like this to me, but make me decide I'm not prepared to accept rudeness from ignorant slobs just because I'm pregnant!

FluffyCoo Fri 30-Oct-09 14:21:08

How rude!

Next person that does that, say "yes being this big is a nightmare, you get really dreadful piles" followed by a blow-by blow account of any bowel issues you have experienced during pregnancy (make it up if you have to and definitely mention rectal bleeding).

That'll fix 'em.

Moosy Fri 30-Oct-09 14:29:35

I'm 5'4" and also have a very out front bump on a skinny body.

A few weeks ago (for the umpteenth time) my mum looked at me, smirked, and said "hee, you're such a funny shape!" I looked back and said "So are you, but at least mine's temporary" That shut her up and she hasn't commented since.

Strangers often comment on my size as I'm now nearly 35 weeks and already bigger than I was at full term with DD2 due to completely knackered stomach muscles. I just tend to look a bit and say (in a very quiet voice) "Oh...." Then they look all sheepish and apologise and scurry off.

Boymaker Fri 30-Oct-09 16:00:47

I always find its best to join in. When anyone ever commented on my size (I'm a big girl anyway), I'd just grin and say "Yeah watch this...GODZILLLAAAAAAA" and stomp off down the corridor thus getting away from offensive moron at same time!
Go for it!

strawberrykate Sat 31-Oct-09 17:19:05

I had this only last week, 'oooo you're getting big!'. I replied 'yes, the pregnant lady is getting big, the sky is blue and the pope's there anything else obvious you would like to state before I go?'
...AND THEY are not talking to ME now because they think my comment was unnecessary!!! Pah!

longwayaway Sat 31-Oct-09 23:47:11

I have tried every approach - polite, candid, rude, ignoring completely - people just laugh it off and do it again. They really feel entitled to their comments!

Singed Sat 31-Oct-09 23:52:13


That should do it.

Ewe Sat 31-Oct-09 23:52:30

I can't believe people are that bothered about these types of comments. They are just people trying to strike up some sort of rapport/conversation in my experience, I don't think anyone intends to offend, they probably don't give a toss really but are just trying to think of something to say.

Just ignore it - hardly worth getting wound up about!

cyteen Sun 01-Nov-09 10:53:46

I do agree in some ways Ewe but it's easier said than done when you're actually in that situation (or possibly I am just a mardy arse blush). What people don't realise when they say these well-meaning but completely redundant things is that every other person the pregnant woman comes into contact with will also have said some variation of the same, which means it gets very tired very quickly.

I have said all of these things and more to pregnant women and now I cringe when I remember it, to think how much they must have been inwardly rolling their eyes at me.

There's also, imo, a difference between a jocular comment like 'are you sure it's not twins' and the ones that border on saying 'you're fat'.

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