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39W4D not dilated - help!

(31 Posts)
pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 07:46:57

im totally depressed and pressured, went to the doctor yesterday and said that i am not dilated at all. i dont feel any signs of labor as well. kept walking but i guess its not helping. please advice. (sex is not an option)


pooka Wed 21-Oct-09 07:56:24

Not sure why anyone would expect you to be dilated already? Or do you mean that the head isn't engaged - 2 different things. You're not due yet, so I wouldn't imagine that either thing would be an issue yet. I didn't have any internals until after each of my 3 due dates (when I had a sweep with dd and ds1). Head wasn't engaged with any of them until nearer due date either.

pooka Wed 21-Oct-09 07:57:43

Also, if this is your first, then it may well be late. Signs of labour wont come until, well, you're in labour, which could normally be anywhere from now until 42 weeks really.

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 09:02:54

what i understood is i should be at least 1cm dilated at this point of time. baby's position is head down, water and heartbeat is ok. i want a normal delivery and not CS.

SCARYspicemonster Wed 21-Oct-09 09:08:23

Nope, sorry. There's no rules about how dilated you should be at 39 weeks. The baby will come when it's ready and there's no reason you will have to have a CS because you're not dilated yet. Try and relax (easier said than done I know!). Good luck

invlanderen Wed 21-Oct-09 09:10:28

If you want a normal text book delivery, prepare to be disappointed. My labours never followed any of the suggested stages and all were normal.

You don´t have to worry about a cs just yet.. but bear in mind full term is ANYTHING up until 42 weeks.. I know in the UK HCPs sometimes like to induce before this time, this is not the case in all countries.

Bear in mind induction often leads to a much more painful labour which leads to interventions which often culminates in a cs. If you want to avoid this really research the implications of induction now.

Try not to worry though and if this is your first it´s more than likely late anyway. Good luck!

flowerybeanbag Wed 21-Oct-09 09:14:49

If you're not showing any signs of being in labour I find it a bit strange they are even checking to see if you are dilated anyway. No one ever checked that with me until I was in the hospital having had regular contractions for a couple of days!

As everyone says, you are not due yet, no reason to think you should be dilated or to be concerned that you are not, and no need to worry about a c-section either. Best of luck!

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 09:16:30

yes, this is my first and i am really worried, getting worse everyday, expecting labor signs and stuff and from what the doctor told me (that i am not dilated yet) added some torture...

has anyone done some things to trigger labor?

flybynight Wed 21-Oct-09 09:29:07

Don't worry about it in the slightest, pambaby. When I had my first, I was totally undilated two days previous (the midwife checked because my blood pressure had soared), one cm dilated when I got to hospital after my water breaking and I delivered two hours after that. There are no set rules about how your cervix will behave.

There are loads of old wives tales about what triggers labour but for the most part it is the baby being ready to be born that triggers labour. And try to relax. When it does start, you will wonder why you were in such a rush smile.

bethoo Wed 21-Oct-09 09:30:08

you are not in labour so of course you will not be dilated. just relax and it will happen. also as this is your first you most probably will be late anyway.

LadyOfTheFlowers Wed 21-Oct-09 09:32:02

Nothing seems to trigger labour - nothing is actually proven to start it off. The baby sends a message which starts labour off.

You need to relax, being het up about it will not help and may have the opposite effect.

Enjoy the days you have left before your life changes forever and you are responsible for a little being for the next 18 or so years!
Have a nice bath, have a kip, watch what u want on tv, go window shopping.... enjoy being by yourself - you will seldom be alone again for years once the baby is born!

As has been said, you don't have to be dilated at this point. Some people are, some people aren't.
It is your first baby and they tend to be late anyway.

If it is of any comfort to you I was 3 cms dilated at 39 weeks but baby still didnt come till 40wks + 4 days. And that was baby number 2.

The fact I HAD dilated some didnt make him early or on time.

ShowOfHands Wed 21-Oct-09 09:34:04

Why on earth would they examine you if you're not in labour? And why would you be dilated if you're not in labour? Women having subsequent babies are often dilated slightly before labour but not with your first.

A normal pregnancy is 37-42 weeks and believe me, none of those old wives tales about bringing on labour work. Your baby will come when it's ready and believe me, you don't want to force a baby into the world until it's ready.

Enjoy these last days/weeks of pregnancy for what they are instead of trying to force something that is in the lap of the Gods.

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 09:40:28

am somehow relieved.. thanks to all the advices.

i know a lot can happen in the next days, and tomorrow is another appointment to see how dilated i am... stressed.

ruddynorah Wed 21-Oct-09 09:43:16

are you in the UK? it is unusual to be checked for dilation before going into labour. and as others have said, this can easily be upto 2 weeks after your due date..or even longer. is your doctor worried?

Ewe Wed 21-Oct-09 09:46:29

I really can't understand why you're being checked for dilation?

Tillyscoutsmum Wed 21-Oct-09 09:47:39

Why are they checking you to see how dilated you are ? That's not the norm afaik ?

Like everyone else said, there's no reason at all why you would/should be dilated at this early stage. If its any consolation, I went for my midwife appointment at 36+4 and the head wasn't engaged and baby was back to back and I gave birth 2 days later.

Its lovely that you're in a rush to meet your new baby but honestly, try to relax as much as possible. It could easily be another couple of weeks and stressing about it every day is not going to help it come any quicker. Get plenty of rest, eat well, go for some nice walks and relax - whilst you've still got chance smile

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 09:51:39

i have to clear things up to my doctor tomorrow whyd she have to check me internally again, thank goodness i asked here otherwise i am totally clueless...

i asked the doctor if i will be having a normal delivery and said that its still a "trial for labor" reason why she asked me to come back tomorrow....

guess i have to make a list of questions so i wont forget anything when i see the doctor again.

ruddynorah Wed 21-Oct-09 09:54:19

pambaby- are you in the UK?

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 09:59:34

oopppss sorry ruddynorah, i missed that - NO im not, im in UAE

ShowOfHands Wed 21-Oct-09 09:59:54

There is so little you can control about labour/childbirth. You do not know the labour you will experience, there are no guarantees. What you can control is your positivity. Your attitude, your mental well being, your readiness to welcome that baby into the world in the way that it needs to come. And there is some little evidence to suggest that remaining calm and positive and listening to your body will aid you to have the natural birth you crave.

I was so desperate, adamant that I wanted a natural, pain free delivery that when I had every intervention known to man and an eventual em cs, I ended up with debilitating PTSD because the expectation I had of myself was impossible and my baby hadn't read the books and couldn't work out how to get into the world the way her mother had desired.

Please try and keep an open mind about this and know that if there is no good reason why you need a cs at this moment, then probability suggests you won't have one. At the same time, acknowledge that you can't see the future and the health and well being, physically and mentally of you and your baby are paramount.

flybynight Wed 21-Oct-09 10:06:12

As much as anything else, i would feel assaulted if I was being examined that often. There is enough man-handling further down the line, thank you very much.

I had two babies in Australia (for the most part a wonderful place to have babies) and my obstetrician did want to check me internally all the time. I politely turned his invitations down most of the time as I recall. I do wonder if he was just trying to justify his insane fees.

You'll be fine, pambaby. Have a bit of faith in your body!

pambaby Wed 21-Oct-09 10:46:52

i will relax as much as i can and try to stay calm and do clarifications tomorrow...

Aubergines Wed 21-Oct-09 10:52:32

I wasn't dilated at all at 40 weeks. Didn't matter at all - labour started five days later and out came DD1.

corblimeymadam Wed 21-Oct-09 10:54:50

Message withdrawn

ShowOfHands Wed 21-Oct-09 10:55:38

AFAIK 'trial of labour' is an old fashioned term for a VBAC isn't it? If this is your first baby, why is it referred to as such?

Where are you? Why are you seeing a doctor and not a midwife? I'm not entirely sure he sounds as though he's the most knowledgable person about labour/childbirth/pregnancy.

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