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Please come and tell me I am not the only person who is really crap and being pregnant and feeling really bad about how I feel.

(10 Posts)
BumptiousandBustly Fri 16-Oct-09 12:01:51

DS is 18months old and I am 4 months pregnant.

I am really bad at being pregnant, I had to have six weeks off work for what turned out to be acid reflux, and am so tired all the time, I feel like I am letting everyone down because I just can't do things at home and with DS - who has basically decided that DH is the fun one and asks for him all the time, even when he is upset - as its always DS doing things with him as I am too tired, ill etc.

I am feeling slightly more human after the first trimester has ended but not much, some days i just feel like I am wading through quicksand.

I hate that I am so misserable being pregnant, DH keeps telling me this should be a happy time (which doesn't help) I just can't get across to him that I can be happy about the baby but really hate being pregnant at the same time.

(please excuse if I suddenly vanish and don't come back for a bit, DS is due to wake up from his nap any minute)

Kathyis12feethighandbites Fri 16-Oct-09 12:09:00

Bumptious I feel your pain. Or rather, I did until ds was born last week, when everything suddenly became wonderful again.
Some of us do have really really horrible pregnancies. I totally identify with the guilt, but it is NOT your fault. Your DS won't remember any of this once you are back to normal again, and the bottom line is, you are the one who is gestating a new life and sometimes it is a hard job in ways which are not immediately visible to everyone else.
You're nearly half way, so hang on in there and in another fortnight you will be able to feel like you are on the downward slope.
And get your iron levels checked if you're tired, just in case that is contributing to the problem.
I hate this stereotype of contented/ecstatic pregnant women! Great for those whose pregnancies are like that, but sadly this is not the reality across the board!
Hope you feel better soon. xxxx

BumptiousandBustly Fri 16-Oct-09 12:16:36

KAthyis, thankyou very much, its great to here that other people feel the same. The world mostly seems to be totally shocked that you are not some happy gestating madonna figure - who is having the time of their life.

Very reasurring to hear you feel better again so quickly as well. I just want this over with! sad

BumptiousandBustly Fri 16-Oct-09 12:16:51

p.s. congratulations on your DS

kowaikiwi Fri 16-Oct-09 12:27:28

Hi Bumptious, just thought I could help a bit with how you're feeling too. I'm now 40+6 and dying to get things started but what you talk about with feeling guilty you're not enjoying pregnancy rings true with me. Though I've had a very smooth pregnancy (horrible morning sickness early on but that's just what happens) I really haven't enjoyed all the horrible stuff that comes with it. i.e losing the body you had, the constipation (sorry TMI!), not being able to do the things you used to, having to give up exercise, not sleeping etc.
How can this be enjoyable! I did feel guilty when people asked me (including my other half) how I was enjoying pregnancy and I was honest and said 'I'm not!'. But I guess it's got better and probably from about 34-35 weeks when people really start to look out for you, maybe I got my second-wind and felt a bit better too, but it's been OK since then. Until now that is because I'm so impatient to get this little one out now!
So don't feel guilty, I'm sure we will all feel like it's worth it when we're holding our babies!
All the best

FifiForgot Fri 16-Oct-09 14:33:10

As Kathy said - I feel your pain! I am 25 weeks now and still feeling rubbish. I had 7 weeks off in the summer at 12 weeks, after struggling into work every day, because of sheer exhaustion. I seem to catch everything going and can't wait to finish work in 5 weeks and I really hope that I will feel better then.

DD spends so much more time with DH because he has far more energy than me. She told someone the other day that "Mummy sleeps on the sofa" when they asked her what Mummy did! As others have said your DS won't remember this once the new baby is here.

I loved being pregnant with DD and sailed through without any problems, so this time has come as a huge shock. I am counting the days until this baby arrives. Thankfully, I'm having an elective section this time (long story) so I actually know when this is all going to be over.

Basically, you are not alone, it won't last forever. I'm clinging to the thought of a beautiful new baby in 12 weeks.

I hope you begin to feel a little bit better soon.

MedusaHead Fri 16-Oct-09 14:46:38

Bumptious I remember sitting in my anti-natal class and the class leader went round the group asking all the women what was the best thing about being pregnant and I just said "feeling the baby move" as it really was the only good thing I could think of.

And that was my first pregnancy. Being pregnant and looking after a toddler is exhausting as I found out with my second. I never bloomed during pregnancy. I always looked and felt rubbish. My skin and hair were really greasy, my gums bled, I was irritable and over-emotional and I was absolutely exhausted all the time.

Good luck though. Just try and get as much sleep as you can which always helps. And you know it's worth it in the end.

roary Fri 16-Oct-09 14:48:57

I hate being pregnant. I hate people who look at me blankly when I tell them about how I hate being pregnant. I like babies, just don't like having them - if you don't feel well when you're pregnant, you won't like it - would you like anything else that made you feel like rubbish for months, even if it did have a good outcome?

I also get a terrible feeling that I am really just a wimp and if I were tougher I would enjoy pregnancy more. But very severe morning sickness in both pregnancies (am 16 weeks with no 2) and anemia and severe, sleeping in a chair, heartburn with no 1 means it's just not fun. And then no 1 was naughty and decided to arrive after prolonged induction at 42+2! I felt like I had been pregnant for several years. I remember having an alarming feeling when my first child was 3 months old that I felt NORMAL for the first time in 12 months. That's just not fun. So great for all those who feel great, but you are not alone. It helped me enormously that one of my friends from pregnancy yoga also hated being pregnant, we could bond!

Good luck!


roary Fri 16-Oct-09 14:50:09

PS my DD is 19 months, so we are in the same boat...when I throw up she looks at me and says "Mummy all right? Mummy all right?" which breaks my heart...

memorylapse Fri 16-Oct-09 16:37:47

I can sympathise..I have crap pregnancies..I get hyperemsis which takes me off the radar for about 6-8 weeks.with ds2..I never bloomed..I looked ill all the much so that at 38 weeks I finally broke down in front of the consultant and said I wasnt leaving until they agreed to book me in for an induction...the consultant was so alarmed..he agreed.

11+3 at the moment and feel horrific..I currently look like a corpse

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