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Pregnancy

Think I may have seen gender at scan - has surprise been ruined?!!

21 replies

MuddledMum · 12/10/2009 10:10

Sorry for the long post and I know I probably sound slightly cuckoo but I just wondered if any other Mumsnetters had experiences they could share as it might make me feel a wee bit better...

This is my second pregnancy and as with our first my DH and I don't want to find out gender before birth. We already have a wonderful little boy and deep down I don't really mind whether we end up with pink or blue this time but I worry that if I know too long in advance I will dwell on what I won't be having rather than what I am. I know that on the day this little bundle is born all thoughts of 'I may never have a little girl' or 'DS1 may never have a brother' will fly out the window and for that reason I've always wanted to save the big reveal until the day itself! However... I've been obsessed with trying to guess the gender online and have looked at everything from nub theories to chinese calendars and the colour of my pee! My nosiness was all in good fun I thought until my big 20 week scan came round...

We made it very clear to the u/s tech when we arrived that we didn't want to know gender but she was training someone in the room with us and so the scan took alot longer than with my DC1. Towards the end I couldn't stop myself from trying to look for gender clues and was actively looking for them when hey presto... I am sure that on multiple occasions I saw a winkle! I didn't say anything there and then because I didn't want to hear her confirm what I'd seen and have the surprise I'd been desperately craving ruined for me. When we left the scan though my DH said that he also thought he'd seen boy bits which threw me into a total panic that there was no more team green gender guessing fun to be had, and only team blue certainty now.

Once we had a chance to chat about it we realised that my DH and I both think we saw something very different. He thinks he saw a white shadow between the legs on the full length shots, I think I saw a winkle every time she panned up the spine. I also thought I saw a meat and two veg in the potty shot when the u/s tech said she was having difficulty seeing the bladder as bub may have just gone to the loo. On reflection though the boy bits I thought I saw were about the same length as the entire baby's bottom so I'm guessing I may have been mistaken at that point!!

So... my long winded question is has anyone else been convinced they knew gender after a 20 week ultrasound and been proved wrong? Are there other things that can look like a dangling winky at a 20 week scan? And if we were adamant about not wanting to know gender how likely is it that the u/s tech would have lingered on areas that were going to give the game away? It's not that I want this baby to be a girl (although up until the scan that's what my instincts were telling me it would be) it's just that I want to get back the excitement I felt from believing there was still a really clear chance this could go either way.

I've got myself in such a hormonal pickle over this and have been so down the last few days worrying that my curiosity got the better of me. I wish I'd never even started looking at all the nub theory pictures as I now feel like I'm an armchair ultrasound expert and therefore find it even harder to try and just forget what I think I saw. Please help if you have any similar experiences because right now I feel like I ruined Chrsitmas by snooping for my presents. I just desperately want to believe that there's still a 50/50 chance and I can spend the next four months guessing and picking names in the same carefree way I was before last week's scan.

Sorry this is so long and sounds a bit ridiculous - I know we've not been told anything for certain and that this is all based on guesswork on my part but i guess my nickname says it all... XX

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lostinwales · 12/10/2009 14:09

Don't panic, with my third pregnancy I was sure I saw what sex the baby was, (I used to do some sonography back when I had a career other than being a taxi service), I even checked with the sonographer scanning me and she agreed. Cue red faces all round in the delivery suite when our darling Megan turned out to have some extra equipment (we changed the name btw)! He's my third DS and I couldn't have loved him more the minute I saw him, the phantom baby you imagine when pregnant will never be as good as the real one you hold.

And with a little experience in the scanning area I would have to say without a lot of practice it is near impossible to tell what anything is, but quite easy to make up magic eye pictures in your head, good luck with the pregnancy

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yada · 12/10/2009 14:13

my dh was convinced that our dc2 was a boy, he seen the right bits on the scan and would not listen when i explained that as a soldier he was not really qualified to be sexing the baby.

turned out that dc2 was a girl.

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Issy42 · 12/10/2009 14:25

Not had chance to read the whole OP as at the end of lunch break, but just wanted to say that at my last scan (21 weeks) I could have sworn I saw testicles and thought that they had got the sex wrong at the 16-week scan but turns out it was labia. Was a 3D scan too so very detailed.

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BloodshotEyeballs · 12/10/2009 14:32

There are highly trained sonographers who can't work out the gender so the chances of you doing it are reasonably slim I would have thought. Even sonographers who have stated a gender have been wrong. So the answer is that you have no idea. Carry on as before and stop getting yourself in a state

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ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 12/10/2009 14:34
  1. You didn't know when you went in
  2. You still don't know.

    Problem solved.
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MuddledMum · 12/10/2009 17:40

Thank you all - you're making me feel much better! I wish now I hadn't spent so much time reading all those nub theory and ultrasound predictor posts as that has definitely influenced what I thought I saw and my certainty that I must therefore be right. So irrational and I know that if I went looking for a willy I was pretty likely to see something that resembled one a few times in the scan! I always thought it might be fun to know what you're having but these last few days have taught me that I am definitely better suited to keeping the odds 50/50 until the big day! I even found myself looking at families with two DS this weekend and no DD and thinking 'do they look happy cos that will be me in a few months'!! I think I'm losing the pregnancy plot! xx

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FifiForgot · 12/10/2009 18:20

At my 20 week scan we asked to know the gender. DH and I thought we saw boy bits until the sonographer said that the baby's cord was between its legs and that confused the issue somewhat. DH and I are still none the wiser and even though we had to go back for a second scan, we still don't know.

Basically, even if you think you saw something, you were probably wrong!

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ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 12/10/2009 20:07

As an aside, 2 boys are fine I was happy when I had 2 boys.

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lola0109 · 12/10/2009 21:54

Hi, I had went for a scan at 16 weeks and I was desperate to know the sex. Bub wasn't playing though and was camera shy

I had thought that since I couldn't see anything, and they were having a good look, that it must be a girl. My mum, who is a midwife, was with me and she came away none the wiser. I told her my thoughts and she laughed at how well endowed I'd assume my boy would be at 16 weeks. Apparently at this stage and for quite some time boys and girls bits are the same size-ish. Girls looks like a burger bun and boys it will be the scrotum you see. So veg but no meat. But unless you were having a really good look at the area you wouldn't see anything.

Anyway, think its safe to say you didn't see what you thought you saw! keep picking both names!

And fingers crossed for me that baby wants to pose for the camera at my 20 week scan!

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Ivykaty44 · 12/10/2009 22:00

I know two doctors that were convinced they were having a girl - even the when they were having the scan they were told it was a girl and all looked they knew baby was a girl - William though is not a girl so if it can happen to two doctors and they were told then I am sure you havn't a clue in the nicest possible way.

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whensmydayoff · 15/10/2009 15:46

Im rushing through this so haven't rea all the answers.
Ive been told that the cord is routinely and wrongly been seen as a winkle so don't worry.
If you think about it - if the cord was dangling or even pulled between the legs, that blob could easily look like meat and two veg!

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TanyaBranning · 15/10/2009 15:47

I was convinced I saw my second child's boy's bits at the scan. I had further scans later on, too, as had a complicated pregnancy and always thought it looked like a boy. I was convinced.

DD is 1 now

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BellasYummyMummy · 15/10/2009 15:56

im so glad to have read this post!! i have my 20 week scan next week and am so worried of finding out the sex! glad to hear its not as obvious as i thought

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Tidey · 15/10/2009 16:01

I thought I saw girl bits at 20w scan, then changed my mind and thought what I'd actually seen were boys bits, DP thought he saw girl bits. But we actually wanted to know the sex, so we paid for another scan at 23w. Turned out to be DD. Seriously, don't worry, you still don't know either way. You can carry on wondering for the rest of your pg.

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MuddledMum · 26/10/2009 09:02

Thank you, thank you - been busy helping out with some work at DS's school so only just had a chance to catch up. You're all making me feel alot better!!! Every time I replay the scan in my head it's like I see an enormous set of boy bits in 3d (lol)!! I just want to keep on to the feeling that this is going to be a complete and total surprise on the day so every story about mistakingly seeing the meat and two veg is a huge relief - not because I don't want another DS but just because I don't want to know for definite until the little one makes it's first appearance xx

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sarah293 · 26/10/2009 09:07

This reply has been deleted

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Doodleydoo · 26/10/2009 09:12

My BIL told everyone they were having a boy after self diagnosing..........fulfilled our prophecy of self inflated ego as what he saw was the u cord not a giant penis!

If you have a much later scan (we had at least 1 a month until 38 weeks due to size issues) it is more difficult to avoid so we just kept our eyes closed!

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gorge2003 · 26/10/2009 12:32

me and dh wanted to know what the sex was and sonographer couldnt see...we were both convinced we saw girl bits...sonographer did say 'possibly a girl'....he said it before i even said it! we googled what we saw and it certainly seemed we were right....we didnt buy any pink though...only white!

so anyway my DD is 7 weeks old now! we were right but glad we didnt find out 100% cos it was so exciting even though i took to calling bump 'she'...good job we were right!

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annamama · 26/10/2009 15:22

Agree with others, you still don't know... I thought I saw boy bits at scan, said "oh is it a boy?" only to be told "no I can't see yet" and then later "it's a girl".

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Miggsie · 26/10/2009 15:33

My cousin was told twin girls...she had twin boys.

Not an exact science then.

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izzybiz · 26/10/2009 15:48

When I was pregnant for the 2nd time, at my 20 week scan I didn't ask the sex, when the sonographer went down through the body I couldn't see anything down below, so I assumed it was a girl.
Had a 2nd scan at 28 weeks and asked the sex, was shown a "burger bun" and told a girl!

With my 3rd, we asked the sex at 20 weeks, was told a boy, shown the boy bits, but I still couldn't see

What Im trying to say is its so hard to work out what you are seeing, don't assume you know, I would go back to the 50 50 odds!

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