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Still can't come to terms with being pg again

(3 Posts)
SecretSlattern Wed 07-Oct-09 17:16:27

I found out 4 weeks ago that I am pg with DC3. I was initially shocked, unsure as to what we should do for a variety of reasons, just generally stunned.

4 weeks later and we have told people that we are expecting again, but I can't seem to get excited about it. I have this feeling that something is going to go wrong and I feel that I am just waiting for it to happen. I feel a bit detached from the whole thing.

When DH and I were discussing what we were going to do (this pg is totally unexpected), I told him that if we continued with it, we had to be 100% happy and that we should be as excited for this one as we were with our first two. Unfortunately for me, this isn't happening.

I can't imagine having three children. I can't seem to get excited about it. I wouldn't even believe I was pg were it not for the extreme tiredness that seems to be ruining my daily life - work is a chore, the kids are a chore, my house (which is by no means always looking fab) looks shit all the time and I have no motivation to do anything about it. My degree is already suffering as I just can't get motivated to do any work for it, but then I feel a bit fed up with it because I took a year out after DS (I was pg for the second year with him) and now I'm going through it all again. I don't want to put it off. I'll never finish it otherwise and then the last few years will have been a massive waste of time.

I haven't even been to the GP yet to have it confirmed and I'm aware that in the next 3-4 weeks, assuming everything is ok, I will be getting ready to have my nuchal scan.

I'd like to be excited, but the worry of whether things are ok or not are stopping me, the expectation that something is going to go wrong is stopping me from attempting to enjoy it. Will it get better? Will I want to be pg anytime soon? Your thoughts and opinions would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks

CantThinkofFunnyName Wed 07-Oct-09 17:22:15

Oh SecretSlattern - I'm sooo with you on this one. I must say I am now 27 weeks pg with DC3 - totally unexpected, unplanned etc and I'm 40 years old. I truly believed we had completed our family and we have 5 between us!

I am only now coming to terms more with it and I wouldn't say getting excited but more looking forward to getting the birth over and done with, getting the baby and I suppose welcoming "it" into our family.

I'm sure it will all be fine once baby arrives and I don't feel anywhere as negative as I did for the first 16 weeks (actually I don't feel negative at all any more). DH has been happy all the way through (comments like "Who's the Daddy" have not really helped me come to terms with it!!!

So - no real advice other than I know exactly how you feel. I kept thinking that until the 12 week nuchal there really wasn't much point in getting excited because it was BOUND to be Downs or something.... but now at 27 weeks, actually, everything is fine...

I'm sure you will be too. x

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins Wed 07-Oct-09 17:24:10

I think these feelings are normal.

I felt exactly like you and although are timing wasn't great and we hadn't planned it, we did want a third at some point.

It took me ages to come to terms with it and I also thought it was going to go wrong and at times hoped it would sad. I didn't have any morning sickness and didn't feel pregnant at all.

I'm 13 weeks now and am very much looking forward to our 3rd, something just seemed to click and overnight I felt much better about it.

Hopefully you'll feel the same soon, I was about 9 weeks when I felt better.

Perhaps seeing your GP for a chat and a chance to book in with the midwife will makes things more real?

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