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Are second pregnancies harder than first ones? Can you tell me your stories?

(24 Posts)
LittleOneMum Thu 01-Oct-09 13:31:00

OK, am 8 weeks pg with #2. Very much wanted. Have a lovely DS, who is 2.

Am feeling a million times worse this time round. Maybe it's just an impression, but my memories of my first pregnancy involve floating through it like a dream, no morning sickness, no real tiredness and at 9 months I just looked like I had a stuffed a pillow up my jumper.

This time round I feel like I've been pulled through a hedge backwards. Feel constantly like I'm about to be sick (no actual being sick as yet), am exhausted permanently, have trapped wind constantly (TMI, sorry!), feel weepy, can't really sleep properly etc.

Now this can't be because I have a toddler to look after, because I work F/T and I did last time too. Mind you, weekends are no longer a 'catch up on your sleep' time...

Did anyone else experience this? Is it because I am older now (only 2 years, so hardly decades)? is it because I might be having a DD?

rubyslippers Thu 01-Oct-09 13:32:53

this pregnancy (my second) has been harder

i also work FT and have a toddler - i miss being able to come home and collapse into bed

I was much more sick this time around

SPD bad as well

are you sure your 1st PG was so glorious?!

LittleOneMum Thu 01-Oct-09 13:36:39

I honestly have no bad memories of it, and DH does tell me that he remembers me loving being pg. I'm glad it's not just me. It's definitely not helping that I can't just collapse into bed after work, I agree. Instead, I am doing potty training hmm

icanseeitfrombothsides Thu 01-Oct-09 13:38:10

I have DD (5) and a new DD (4 months). Like you, I found pregnancy with DD2 a million times harder. I felt much more tired, had really awful morning sickness, and in the later stages had bad swelling and pelvis problems. The whole thing was utterly rubbish, although nothing was seriously wrong, and I just felt rough the whole time. Towards the end I kept having to go into hospital for obs due to high bp and the swelling - although this worked out pretty well as I was already there when I actually went into labour.

If it's any consolation, however, I recovered much quicker from the birth (which was also much easier) this time around. Also, DD#2 seems to be 100 times easier that DD#1 (who was pretty easy herself). I find myself being a lot less neurotic, and, joy of joys, DD#2 loves bedtime and sleeping, which DD#1 still does not!

Hope this helps.

rubyslippers Thu 01-Oct-09 13:38:51

i think you do need to be kinder to yourself

weekends - perhaps your DH can let you have a lie in to catch up on some sleep

i found the 2nd trimester was much easier - had some more energy and felt more perky

I am 39 weeks +++ now so nearly at the end

BiscuitStuffer Thu 01-Oct-09 13:40:04

I was the same as you!

DD - fantastically easy pregnancy. I only knew I was pregnant because I could see a bump.

DS - thought I was going to die of tiredness. Cripplingly tired from 6 weeks on.

Just pregnant again and I'm already feeling that all too familiar exhaustion

pasturesnew Thu 01-Oct-09 13:40:33

Mine was worse overall:
- more tired
- sciatica and terrible back problems
- piles

but less morning sickness, less hungry so put less weight on this time round.

Wish I had planned to start mat leave by 32 weeks at the latest. As it was I was desperate to leave when I did at 35 weeks and by that stage I was taking a taxi back from work every evening so quite expensive!

alana39 Thu 01-Oct-09 13:41:33

I found end pg easier although at home with a toddler (18 month gap) most of the time as only worked part time. 3rd pg has been hideous. So I think apart from the lack of lie-ins which you have with a toddler it's probably just chance. Not sure about the DD theory - I have 2 DSs and lots of people think this is a girl because I've felt so crap but won't know until they arrive.

Agree with icanseeit about birth, cervix usually opens up more easily so you should have an easier time then.

ib Thu 01-Oct-09 13:44:28

I'm 14 weeks on my second and it has so far definitely been worse.

My morning sickness started earlier, lasted longer and I threw up more (and it was already bad the first time).

I'm hoping for a really glorious second trimester to make up for it

Both are boys (at least that's what the scan indicates), so the dd theory doesn't explain it for me.

LittleOneMum Thu 01-Oct-09 13:46:39

Bless, you have all made me feel much better (although I'm sad that you had tough times too!). ib I wish you a very happy and relaxed second trimester!

mangostickyrice Thu 01-Oct-09 13:56:55

Yep, another one with a much harder second pg. I felt pants all through the second trimester as well, although weirdly have perked up a bit in the last month or so (am 35 weeks). I remember lots of lying around thinking about motherhood and how great it was going to be during my first pg hmm. Not done too much of that this time around!

Sunshinemambo Thu 01-Oct-09 14:07:04

My 2nd pregnancy was harder not because of the symptoms but because, as you describe, there was no downtime at all. Having a toddler and working full-time meant I couldn't collapse in bed when I came home and I couldn't have long lies in at the weekend to catch up.

pasturesnew Thu 01-Oct-09 14:17:47

Agree with sunshinemambo that is a killer too and affects both parents, DH would definitely say this pregnancy was harder for him - he did all the housework, laundry, cooking and toddler activities really in the first and third trimesters with only limited help from me in the second one.

whensmydayoff Thu 01-Oct-09 14:22:13

I was miserable this time (2nd) until 14 weeks. Even wished I wasn't PG blush at times.
Knackered, sick, grumpy, wasn't coping at all with 2 yr old DS.
It passed and I feel same as I did first time, really enjoying it.
Im now 26 weeks and I think I appreciate it even more than last time smile.

lynniep Thu 01-Oct-09 14:25:29

yes - its harder for me this time around.
Not just because I have a toddler - last time I had very few symptoms

i.e. mild heartburn
swollen hands and feet
trouble sleeping in the 3rd trimester
breathlessness due to baby pressing me

I happily commuted into London until 38 weeks and could have kept it up until the day I gave birth.
I wont say it was completely comfortable being pregant, but it wasnt that hard.

This time around:
same symptoms plus
morning sickness which also manifested as extreme travel sickness which I never had last time.
extreme tiredness in early stages followed by general knackeredness throughout
SPD so I have trouble walking any faster than snails pace and interrupt every few steps with sharp intake of breathe due to stabbing pains 'down below'. (this has not helped with weight gain as I now take the car if poss)
real trouble with bloating of hands if I sit upright at computer too long. which is an issue because I work at the computer.

On the upside DH has been brilliant this time. I think he's been reading up or something! Since he found out about the pregnancy he's actually been getting up with DS on a morning (which was unheard of before) and being great at taking him out on a weekend to give me a break.

wasabipeanut Thu 01-Oct-09 14:30:26

Am sorry to hear you are having a rough time. For me, my 2nd has been easier - I was less nauseous whereas with my 1st I was feeling or being sick for the first 15/16 weeks. Plus unbelievable tiredness.

This time round I was dreadfully tired for the first 13 weeks or so but it got better. And whilst I am still sometimes sick now at 22 weeks I don't "feel" sick IYSWIM. I just puke and I'm done. Sorry TMI. I also seem to have fewer aches and pains angd general crapiness this time.

Sorry, prob not what you want to hear now but you might well feel a lot better in 6 weeks time! Good luck.

Comma2 Thu 01-Oct-09 14:38:40

yes, 2n is much much harder- I am fully convinced it's because taking care of a toddler though. i spent much more time on the sofa and sleeping first time, and when I get to do it now (which isn't often at all), I feel just as well as the first time.

Especially having to get up at night, getting colds from the baby etcpp makes me much more aware of symptoms I prob had last time, but could just sleep through instead of having to sit holding hands at 4 am while fighting a bad cold..

Pinkjenny Thu 01-Oct-09 14:43:48

I'm 27 weeks and it is definitely harder this time round. I had crippling MS until 21 weeks (11 weeks last time), feel so much more uncomfortable and cumbersome this time, and I am permanently knackered.

I find it hilarious when people tell me to rest. My 2.5yo is not a fan of watching me lie on the sofa.

I think there are two reasons I am finding it so tough this time, one being looking after dd, and two, I worked from home last time I was pg. This time I have a two hour daily commute.

I must admit though, I didn't enjoy being pg last time either, but I definitely spent more time daydreaming and folding up babygros. My poor ds will have to take us as he find us, I'm afraid!

[miserable cow emoticon]

ib Thu 01-Oct-09 20:43:43

Thank you!

butterscotch Thu 01-Oct-09 21:20:58

Glad its not just me!!!

I worked last time till 37 weeks no problems, the commute to the city was doable....

this time like lynneip I have travel sickness whihc makes going to work on the train crappo! Though I am using Acuputure wrist things (Chemist said they are okay) and find if I eat something on the train Usually a raisin swirl in the morning and salt & vinegar crisps on the way home it seems to be less...

Last time I was only sick in the mornings, brushing my teeth a few other times, and felt sick most days till lunchtime but found grazing helped...

This time the sickness is something completely differnet extreme all day every day sad loads of dry gagging only 9 weeks and really hope i am one of the luckly ones that it passes at 12 weeks!

another one with a toddler as well, no peace wants me not daddy which doesn't help! I miss being able to sit on the sofa and doing nothing!

this time I plan to quit work at 38 weeks but take 5 weeks leave before that.....

hobnob57 Thu 01-Oct-09 22:24:08

If it's any consolation littleonemum, my second pg has been a dream in comparison to my first.

I think I was actually sick more often with this pg, but seemed to be able to manage the nausea with timed eating better. Last time I was 24/7 nausea and couldn't eat - I lost loads of weight and it lasted until 17 weeks. This time it stopped at 13 weeks, and even eased off for a spell in week 7, so much so that I panicked and got a scan since that was when my mmc had stopped growing.

Last pg I had raging SPD from 18 weeks, constant heartburn and jumpy stomach from beginning to end, that constant gnawing hinger that immediately went away after not eating much only to return almost immediately, constipation, piles, insomnia, abundant leukorrea (sp?), anaemia, linea nigra on my belly, body hair that grew faster than I could shave it off... basically you name it, I had it.

This time around, once the sickness stopped I wasn't afraid of food, I haven't been hungry, the heartburn has been intermittent and manageable, as has the constipation, I have had hardly any discharge and my body hair growth seems to have slowed down. No silly line on the belly either. It's been most weird and most unexpected and most pleasant. My pelvis has held out and at 34 weeks is only now beginning to show signs of imminent falling apart.

Fingers crossed your discomfort disappears with the 1st trimester


mangostickyrice Sat 03-Oct-09 06:25:45

Had to resurrect the thread to make sure you all see this - I had days and days (well, 3) of contractions with dd, so really hoping to go with the majority and have a nice, easy, straightforward birth this time. Will make up for the increased symptoms and tiredness now I think

Momdeguerre Tue 06-Oct-09 18:26:58

I am 12 weeks with my second. Am really hoping for a wonderful 2nd trimester because so far I have found this pg so so much harder.

Much sicker, much more tired. I don't think that working full time on 12 hr shifts ahs helped while juggling childcare of my very gorgeous and very active 14 month DS!

Can't wait for maternity leave, 22 weeks to go. . . .

Mama2b5 Tue 06-Oct-09 19:35:42

have got 2 wonderful DD- now pregnant and this one has really taken its toll! SPD, sickness cant stand some smells, hated no being able to eat before 10am. i love being pregnant but feel so totally tired and drained all the time although people are saying i look great i feel so yucky!!!
my hair a mess. my skin a mess, my gums are bleeding!
I know im its a Boy - yehhhhhhhhh! smile smile smile
So because this baby was such a wonderful gift and surprise it will all be worth it! 16 weeks to go!

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