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Help, DD seven months old today...and I've just had a positive test. Complete shock

(22 Posts)
whattheheck Fri 25-Sep-09 21:35:12

Tell me it's going to be ok.
Hormonal and worried.
Most of all for DD. Am worried this is going to be bad for her and I love her so much
also worried about health of baby having another one so soon (I'm 38)

please mners help me....

JeMenFous Fri 25-Sep-09 21:40:45

It will be fine, tough but finegrin

Congratulations btw and enjoy

PinkTulips Fri 25-Sep-09 21:41:03

you'll be fine

dd will be more than fine, in terms of accepting a new sibling close age gaps are far easier to manage as the older child never really knows any differant than having a sibling.

congratulations and good luck smile

lola0109 Fri 25-Sep-09 21:43:40

Hi WTH,

I fell pregnant with no 2 when DD was 9 months, she 13 months now and i still haven't got over the shock and am really worried, but luckily DP and family are so supportive and excited so its beginning to rub off on me!

We weren't planning so soon and I'm just so worried about how DD will be as she is going through the clingy jealous stage. I'm assured by friends that the first year is a bit tough but after that its so much easier. My sister has a 5 year gap and says she wishes she had a gap like mine.

Also in case of DD, there was 17 months between my brother and I then 18 between my sister and I (followed by another 2 quickly) and I can't remember a time when we all weren't there. We are so close, especially my brother and I.

Now I know thats probably not helped you any but my mum keeps saying, there are worse things than a baby!

Don't worry and try to enjoy your time with DD while you can as your the one that will remember your time without new baby, not DD.

Hope thats brought some hope?

Meglet Fri 25-Sep-09 21:49:48

Congrats.

As pinktulips said, your DD will probably accept the baby easily. And won't have to juggle an older child going to school while caring for a newborn, just stay at home snuggled up in the early days. Cbeebies will be your friend grin.

Nowtheres4 Fri 25-Sep-09 21:54:18

ah you'll be fine. lots of peopel have another baby with less than a year age gap, so you'll be absolutley fine.

a huge congratulations to you.

whattheheck Fri 25-Sep-09 21:59:28

thank you for all your congratulations.
and your hope
sitting here gobsmacked

am just worried about health implications for me and the babe....as i know you are menat to leave a year and i'm an older mum

but also my dd has been such a joy and I can't bear the thought that I might be messing up stuff for her...I've so enjoyed being a mum - can't imagine too

Sorry hormone overdrive here.....

ChocFudgeCake Fri 25-Sep-09 22:10:40

Congratulations! I had exactly the same gap (surprise, of course). Had also the same worries about messing things up for DS1(and for myself). It was very tiring when both were so little, but it is great now! Honestly! They are great friends and you don't have to entertain them constantly as they have each other. They upset each other every day too, ha. All the best for you!

WhatSheSaid Fri 25-Sep-09 22:12:54

Why are you meant to leave a year? I haven't heard that.

Congratulations. Someone in my antenatal group has 12 months and 1 week between hers and she is doing fine. Her older dc doesn't really remember being the only one so is fine with her young .

Also if you are 38 it's probably better to have a second one sooner rather than leave it later. I'm 38 and have been ttc no 2 for a year (since dd was 7 months) and no luck. I know quite a few people who had two in less than two years - seems quite common espec with older mothers.

Good luck - hope you get used to the idea and enjoy the next few montrhs with your dd.

whattheheck Fri 25-Sep-09 22:18:50

my GP and HV both said that shd leave a year to allow your body to recover although I think I am ok - back to pre-preg weight and had a healthy pregnancy first time round....

Is it ok to carry on bfing as well?

PinkTulips Sat 26-Sep-09 11:14:19

perfectly fine, dd was bf til i was 3 months preg and i fed ds1 all the way through my third preg

mum2jai Sat 26-Sep-09 20:52:50

There's 13 months between DS1 and DD - when I found out I was expecting again I was utterly shocked not least as we had tried for ages to have DS1 and only found out I was having him 2 weeks before starting IVF.

I also felt a bit embarrassed telling people tbh and it was hard work having 2 so close together - I was 34 when DD was born and I think it is a bit harder if you're older.

You can carry on bfding but they encouraged me to stop when DS1 was about 7 months because it does deplete your iron stores so it can leave you anaemic. I was also told to take care of my joints because the hormone relaxin takes about 9 months (I think - or was it a year) to leave your system but if you're pregnant again you get a double dose.

I do think though there are more pluses than minuses. The real upside is how close the kids are. The first year was difficult but after that in some ways I think it was easier because they could do so much together. It can't have been all bad either because we've gone on to have more kids, although I wouldn't actively plan to have two so close together again.

DS2 was born when DD was 2.5 and although I think it was physically easier having a longer gap between pregnancies, I found the age gap harder as DD felt more displaced than DS1 had done. Sadly we lost DS3 last year when I was 21 weeks pregnant but we're expecting DC4 this week (DS2 is 3 so again I'm expecting the transition for him to be harder than it was for DS1).

Good luck and try to enjoy it - sometimes life deals you an unexpected hand but, as unexpected hands go, this is a good one!

HKmama Sun 27-Sep-09 07:52:42

So glad to see this thread. My ds is just 5 months and I found out last week that I am pregnant again. We tried for 2 and a half years the first time so never thought it would happen so easily. DUHHH! I am terrified at the thought of two so close together. This has cheered me up reading all the positive stories. Thanks MN'ers

whattheheck Sun 27-Sep-09 20:55:40

HKmama, mum2jai - there is something in this! Like you we also struggled to have DD, so never in a million years thought I wd find myself in this position grin

Is there soemthing about having one that gears your body up to get going again do you think? Before it forgets again....

Totally understand the embarrassment factor as well..... blush

alana39 Mon 28-Sep-09 09:41:54

I didn't manage it quite so soon but was pg again when DS1 was 9 months - after 2 years of trying first time it just happened second time. You will be fine, as others have said the firstborn doesn't remember time without the new baby, and although they may play up a bit you probably would have had that anyway at an age when they're discovering their personality and independence more.

mamaloco Mon 28-Sep-09 09:56:44

Hi,
The "year" gap is for your body to recover from BF and fabricating a baby. You might need to be more careful about what you eat as you may need more calcium and iron than for your first pregnancy (you depleted your stocks first time around) talk to your GP about Vit/supplements. But appart from that you will be fine probably very tired!! (unless you had a CS, you will then be monitored closely for tearing, rare but happens)
My brother and I had 15 months between us and it was fab (till puberty!)

SouthernMeerkat Mon 28-Sep-09 10:40:10

Congratulations!!! I have a 15 month gap between my first two and it's fantastic. Yes, the first year with the two of them is a bit of a blur, but as you're still in the breastfeeding/nappies/sleepless nights phase, it's not such a big deal - you just get stuck in that phase for a bit longer.

My elder two are such good friends and so close - I think it's a great gap, and you will be fine smile

MumNWLondon Tue 29-Sep-09 22:14:43

If you are worried about health issues there is an organisation called "foresigh" you can check your hair for levels of minerals and can advise what you are deficient on. Might be useful when taking into account the double demands on your body (ie pregnant and breastfeeding).

Don't worry about the gap, DD will be fine.

mushumadness Wed 30-Sep-09 07:37:55

congratulations, it wil be hard but doable, and im sure your little one will benefit from having a sibling so close

my son is 11 months old and im 33 weeks pregnant, Im due around his 1st birthday!!

PootleTheFlump Wed 30-Sep-09 10:40:32

You might like to read Jools Oliver's book, "Minus 9 to 1" all about her having 2 barely a year apart. Congratulations and good luck!

spongebrainmaternitypants Wed 30-Sep-09 11:16:41

Congratulations! Exactly the same story for us - DS took 5 years (3 IVF cycles, 2 ended in m/cs) to arrive, when he was 7 mths old I found out I was pg again.

Had all the same worries as you and the pg has been hard cos I wasn't really recovered from my 1st pg (had SPD). I am now 36 wks and can't wait for the baby to arrive cos I am knackered! blush

I am nervous about coping with the first year but not worried too much about impact on DS1 - but then both me and dh are 2nd children so maybe that affects our thoughts!

Good luck, you'll be fine - and how amazing to have two children when you initially struggled to have any smile.

claricebeansmum Wed 30-Sep-09 11:20:23

Congratulations. 19 months between my DC and like others have said the first year was a bit of a blur but now - they are really close, love fighting playing with each other.

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