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Telling a half sibling about a new baby

(6 Posts)
degroote78 Tue 22-Sep-09 16:57:50

My partner has a six year old who has not yet been told about me or our baby who will be born in around 7 weeks. He has a complex relationship with his ex and she often witholds access to his child which has resulted in his little girl getting very upset at school and the school calling social services. The situation is getting better and he is now getting weekly access however his ex still doesn't want him to tell his daughter about me or the baby.

I personally feel she has her own agenda here and I think it is best to be honest and tell her while I'm still pregnant rather than when the baby is born. I don't think there's ever a right time to do this and I feel honesty is the best policy. from what I have read it says you should tell a child as early as possible. Can snyone who has children or has been in a similar situation please give me advice?

meemarsgotabrandnewbump Tue 22-Sep-09 18:04:10

How much contact do you and your partner have with the little girl?

degroote78 Wed 23-Sep-09 09:48:27

He see's her every sunday. The mother has not let me meet her.

Rindercella Wed 23-Sep-09 09:52:48

Oh what an awful situation for you,

What grounds does your DP's ex have for not allowing you to meet their DD? What are her grounds for restricitng access with your DP? (they'd better be bloody good hmm)

It seems a shame that his DD doesn't even know that you exist - it is an awful lot to heap on a small child...'DD, I have a new partner in my life...oh and she's going to have a baby in a few weeks' time'. That's a lot for anyone to take on board.

Does his ex know that you're pregnant?

Surfermum Wed 23-Sep-09 10:03:43

Try posting this in the step-parenting section, you might get some more replies from people who have had a similar situation.

I have a step-daughter but we already had a good relationship when dd came along, so it wasn't an issue for us.

I would have thought that it's important that she meets you soon and maybe it's time for your dp to stop allowing his ex to call the shots.

degroote78 Wed 23-Sep-09 14:58:14

His ex does know that I'm pregnant and no she has no reason for withholding access apart from to point score.

He doesn't have parental responsibility as they split when she was a tiny baby and before the date that father's automatically had these rights. She stops him seeing his daughter over anything at all and does this with the rest of his family as well.

I do think as surfermum says she is calling the shots and that either way she should meet me. I also don't want my child growing up feeling as if she was some sorded secret that needed to be hidden. It's all very complex. I'll post on the step parent section too. Thanks.

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