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cant afford baby basics.. help!

(54 Posts)
michelle89 Mon 21-Sep-09 16:57:50

hey im 19yrs old, i was at college studying childcare but had to quit it in june because i fell pregnant (it is a 2yr course) the course ends in april 2010 and my baby is due 18th jan 2010 so there was no way i could finish the course. i moved in with my fiance in august, i was led to believe by my midwife i was entitled to job seekers allowance until 29weeks and then income support, so never thought of money as an issue. i went to the job centre to claime for job seekers, they told me im not entitled to job seekers as my partner works over 24hours a week, im not entitled to contribution job seekers because in the last 2yrs i havent worked (as iv been at college) i was told i cannot claim income support as my partner earns £16,700 a yr. this means i cannot claim the £500 baby grant either. im currently 23weeks pregnant and have no money to get anything for my baby. my partner only has about £100 spear a month due to bills. our baby is born in 3months and we havent been able to save anything so far as we've had to get basics for the house. even with saving that £100 a month to get baby things it still isnt enuff to get everything we need. we've worked out we need £500 for the baby basics e.g cot, moses basket, bottles/sterilizer, baby clothes, changing mats etc. i only know one person whos had a baby and can give us some stuff but she has very little left as shes gave it away already. my parents said they'll pay for a pram but arent gna spend over £100 which will never happen, prams today cost atleast £250 and they dont shop online. im scared if when baby comes we wont have anything for him. what will happen if we cant afford the basics? im seriously worried about money issues.

pippel Mon 21-Sep-09 17:06:28

You need nappies and babygrows
You will get taxcredits after the baby is born and might get the sure start grant then
you will get 190 anyway
you can get a silvercross pop for about 100

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Mon 21-Sep-09 17:09:00

Message withdrawn

ThePhantomPlopper Mon 21-Sep-09 17:10:53

Once your tax credits are sorted you should be entitled to the sure start grant.

You can get a pram for £100 second hand no problems.

Babies don't really need much to begin with, breast milk is free, you'll need some nappies and baby grows, I've not used a changing mat with either mine.

Start scouring the second hand shops and ebay to start with.

With your first you find people are generous with gifts too.

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Mon 21-Sep-09 17:12:37

Message withdrawn

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Mon 21-Sep-09 17:13:49

You should still get the £500 maternity grant. I got it when I was pg with ds, and my dh was earning over £20k at the time.

I used cloth nappies, which dh's aunt bought for us, but you can get terry squares much cheaper than pre-folds. Make sure you do your research for breastfeeding, as it's free - formula milk costs a lot of money. You can make a sling using a pattern on the internet, or look on your local slingmeet website for details of people who would be willing to lend you one/sell you one cheaply.

You don't need a cot - baby can room in with you and you dp for now, push the bed up the wall or buy a second hand bedguard off eBay. Most charity shops have boxes of baby stuff, or Tesco/Asda sell very cheap baby clothes. You need 7 vests and 7 sleepsuits, bung them all in with the nappy wash and you don't have to have loads.

Seriously - people get really hung up on what you "need" for a baby, you don't need loads. Babies don't care whether they have an expensive pram, they just want to be close to you and a sling and breastfeeding and co-sleeping is the best thing for that.

Good luck - I do sympathise, it sucks being skint!

LuluMamaaaaarrrrr Mon 21-Sep-09 17:13:53

you can get buggies suitable from birth for around £60 from argos, you don;t need to spend £250

go to nearly new sales, jumble sales etc, borrow from friends, you don';t actually need much

mosschops30 Mon 21-Sep-09 17:14:15

You need to think about things you really need to save money:

dont buy a moses basket put baby into cot in your room
dont need a changing mat - use a towel on floor
prams/pushchair - buy 2nd hand car boot/local paper etc
you will get £200 maternity grant from the state
buy the best nappies you can afford (cheap nappies are a false economy IMHO as you'll use more)

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Mon 21-Sep-09 17:14:48

Message withdrawn

ThePhantomPlopper Mon 21-Sep-09 17:16:24

Oh yes don't bother with a moses basket, they're only in them for 30 seconds.

Yorky Mon 21-Sep-09 17:17:11

Breast feed so you don't need to pay for formula, steriliser etc
use washable nappies and wipes
you don't need a moses basket, go straight for a cot or co-sleep
buy cot and pushchair from ebay
use a sling instead of a pushchair?
we use a towel on the floor instead of a changing mat
is there anything on your local freecycle?
Only get plain neutral babygros, vests, blankets as friends and relatives will get you loads once baby arrives
There is never a good time to have kids, if w waited till we could afford them comfortably then we wouldn't have any, but please don't let money spoil your pregnancy, your family sound supportive
After the baby is born you will get child benefit and child tax credits, I don't know about working tax credits but I do know that we breathe a sigh of relief on DH payday then hold our breath for a fortnight until tax credits come in.....

Hope that helps and doesn't sound bossy.
i know I was happier when I got BFP the 2nd time than the 1st as I didn't have a big shopping list looming over me

QuietlyTTC Mon 21-Sep-09 17:18:21

have you claimed your health in preg grant?

I would go back to the JS and double check that you can't claim anything else

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Mon 21-Sep-09 17:19:06

michelle - i just tried to CAT you but it says i can't. Can you email me please, raisingrrrrl at googlemail dot com

smile

dawntigga Mon 21-Sep-09 17:25:12

NCT sales. Kid and Kaboodle [sp?] sales.

Ikea do very good very cheap cots.

Ask friends/family to loan you items.

Got my pram new from Mama's and Papa's warehouse, it will take him through to being a toddler and cost 150.

HTHTiggaxx

BeingMother Mon 21-Sep-09 17:25:46

I second TAFKAtheUrbanDryad 100%.

I know you are excited for your baby, and want to get a ton of stuff - believe me I was in your place a few short months ago. I was unemployed and then DH lost his job as well and was unemployed for a few months, so I totally get you. We went and bought a co-sleeper cot and an expensive buggy, neither of which we've used.

Ultimately your baby has few needs - she won't need 95% of the stuff that all the baby equipment companies try to sell you.

Ultimately what your baby needs most is your love, somewhere warm to sleep (next to you is perfectly fine, and you'll find she prefers that to a cot, as I found out) and milk to drink (your breastmilk is free). Oh and yes cloth nappies are great (you can have a look for used ones here on MN or check www.usednappies.co.uk) and I highly recommend a sling (much nicer having your LO close to you than in a pram).

Louby3000 Mon 21-Sep-09 17:25:59

Hiya, I have a couple practical ideas for your baby stuff.
Have you joined your local free-cycle group and asked for stuff, what about the NCT nearly new sales? they are always great. If you breast feed you will also save money. No need for sterlizers or bottles. Why dont you buy the pushcahir you want online, and get your parents to write you a cheque for the cost. There is a good Mclaren one that goes flat and is just over £100. A baby doesnt need much. People will buy you presents probably so I would just buy a few basics:
2xpack of 7 vests from Tescos-
3x pack of 3 baby sleep suits from Tescos-
Nappies, Muslins, Blanket.
Matalan, Primark and the supermarkets a;ll do lovely baby things for very cheap.
Im sorry I dont know about benefit stuff, but I am sure you would be entitled to something, have you spoken to anyone at your Sure Start/Childrens Centre?
Good Luck.
`

brightonbleach Mon 21-Sep-09 17:26:27

look up on the internet your local Freecycle group, theres nothing like if for finding the things you need! I'm due in a few weeks time & so far have got a newborn crib and a pram & accessories for free from lovely people giving stuff away on freecycle. also check out www.gumtree.com and again, look for your nearest city and then look under 'freebies', people give away loads on here as well also loads of stuff is sold on gumtree very cheaply, especially baby/child stuff.

jasmeeen Mon 21-Sep-09 17:36:56

As others have said, you really don't need to spend a lot. The shops really flog you this idea that you need lots of stuff for a baby, but you don't.

You can get a used pram on Ebay for a good price, or you can get reasonably priced new strollers suitable from birth if you really want new.

Moses baskets are a complete waste of money imo so please don't waste any money on those. The only thing I would insist on getting new is the car seat if you are going to need one, unless you can be absolutely sure that the car seat hasn't been in an accident. Also the cot mattress due to connection to SIDS, although I am going on advice from a few years ago, so you'd need to check if that was still valid.

Supermarkets sell cheap changing mats and you don't need a changing table. They also sell cheap multipacks of babygros and vests. You can get bundles of used baby clothes quite cheaply on Ebay. I did this for DS2 after I had given away most of DS1's stuff (we have infertility issues so didn't want to tempt fate by keeping it all, but that's a whole other issue!)

Most councils give you some vouchers if you decide to use reusable nappies.

I look back at the amount of stuff I bought for DS1 and think what a mug I was! Much wiser second time around.

Please don't let money worries spoil this pregnancy for you. I know it sucks to be broke but the baby won't care.

michelle89 Mon 21-Sep-09 18:04:21

thnx everyone, im going to surestrt 2mz to see if there is anything else i can claim and going to local council office to ask bout housing benifit, obv we have to get a cot n matress new but the other stuff i can try look in charity shops, if they have nothing we might just have to get them after baby born, i jst want the best for baby, i dont want my family thinkin i cant cope n stuff, as my mum always looks on negitive side, she made me move out cus she said she cnt afford to keep me. now shes like "if u cant afford it ull have to come bk and we'll have to try sort summert out" i think she expects me to fail so wna prove her wrong. my family are supportive but thy always look on negitive side n say i cant do it. but i will look in charity shops and ebay for baby things

somewhathorrified Mon 21-Sep-09 18:06:56

If you go on ebay and put in 'nearest first' in the baby section you can get some great bargains on the pick up only stuff like prams and cots. And always check what else the same seller is getting rid off, if you're making the trip to pick up 1 thing you never know what else they have (or you can ask if they combine postage on smaller stuff). Also don't forget charity shops, they have a clear out once a week you can always ask what day they do it and get several unsold bits for next to nothing.

Remember that our parents and grandparents managed on a lot less then we have access to. My DH spent the first few months of life in a drawer as it was all his parents had!

Arsed Mon 21-Sep-09 18:10:37

Where do you live michelle ?

michelle89 Mon 21-Sep-09 18:12:06

Nottingham iv moved 10mins from city centre which is great for shopping so least thats one good thing

Jojay Mon 21-Sep-09 18:13:10

You don't necessarily need a new cot, just a new mattress.

I got my cot for £30 off Ebay, scrubbed it with bleach and were away!

mrsjammi Mon 21-Sep-09 18:14:34

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jaype Mon 21-Sep-09 18:17:41

Don't forget Bounty packs and joining Boots Parenting club - lots of money off vouchers, plus with one (think it's Boots?) you get a voucher for a free bag with a fold up changing mat inside. So that's another item off the list.

Again, I can't recommend breastfeeding enough as a way to save cash. I know it hurts at first but this does get better - make sure you ring your health visitor or local NCT to get details of breastfeeding help if you are having trouble. It's a skill to learn that will save you several hundred pounds!

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