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I longed for this baby, so where has my broodiness gone?

(8 Posts)
LadyoftheBathtub Mon 14-Sep-09 21:25:00

I know I will sound horribly ungrateful and I apologise to anyone who isn't pg and wants to be. I've been there, I spent 18 months TTC no. 2 and thinking it wouldn't happen.

Now it has and I'm about 14 weeks, and I just can't get my head into "having a baby" mode or get excited about baby stuff. I even got to hold a friend's beautiful newborn the other day and felt.... nothing much. In the past, and when TTC, I'd have wanted to snuggle her forever and run away with her.

I have seen our baby on the scan and I do love it, but I just don't focus on it much or think about it or really accept that a baby is on the way, if that makes sense.

I've had two months of nasty sickness and exhaustion that's still not over, and I'm fed up with it - it wasn't this bad last time and I wasn't expecting it. Could it be that and might I, in your experience, start to get into it and enjoy looking forward to a baby once that's over?

Also I would love any suggestions for something to help me relax and destress a bit once this blardy sickness subsides a bit. Mum-to-be massages/treatments etc if anyone can recommend anything you've tried.

preggersplayspop Mon 14-Sep-09 21:33:41

I never had morning sickness, but the terrible tiredness at the start is very debilitating and does get you down. Its a long slog being pregnant and in some ways I think its better to focus on other things along the way otherwise you will drive yourself insane googling things and reading your books in minute detail.

Despite this being my second pregnancy, I still find other people's newborns a bit scary and they definitely don't make me feel broody. Its a cliche but you will feel differently about your own.

Second trimester is definitely the best stage so something to look forward to!

VinegarTits Mon 14-Sep-09 21:36:05

It early days, first few months are shitty, hormones, sickness, tiredness, give it time, once you start enjoying your pg you will start to feel excited

I had horrible hyperemisis with both my pg, there is a nerve in your wrist that is supposed to help relieve sickness if you massage it, it worked for me sometimes, but not every time, just keep telling yourself it will be over soon (the sickness i mean), ride it out and try to stay calm, by the time your 20 weeks scan comes round you will probably have forgotten what morning sickness is, hope you feel better soon

LadyoftheBathtub Mon 14-Sep-09 21:44:02

Thank you both. I'd forgotten about the wrist thing so I'll try it.

beautifulgirls Tue 15-Sep-09 16:00:13

Once you have one of your own other peoples newborns don't seem the same. It is much harder on the second pregnancy too I think to picture yourself with the baby in your arms - your head will just have your first baby to picture and you can't imagine loving anything more than you already love that child. As you get later into pregnancy it will get a bit more real - once you feel a kick or two, get another scan, start to get out those gorgeous tiny newborn clothes etc. When baby is finally here you will feel very different again and it is not hard to love it when it is yours.
I guess your hormones are not helping - hopefully you will start to feel "blooming" again soon and be more positive.

LaTrucha Tue 15-Sep-09 16:03:28

Accupressure bands might help the sickness. They did take the edge off it for me.

If it helps, DD couldn't be more wanted or loved but I was extremely averse to buying clothes, imagining holding her, nesting of any sort really until she came. I did really want her when I was pg, but not in the same way as when TTC. I think I was worried she wouldn't really be real.

Bonded in a second when she was here. smile

LadyoftheBathtub Tue 15-Sep-09 19:02:17

This is all so true - it doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel like a baby (even though I've seen it and it looks lovely), and I kind of can't believe it can all happen again - having DS, my pfb, was obviously a huge change in my life and everything was new - it just seems... odd to contemplate it all again. But yes there are several milestones still to come like feeling better, feeling the kicking, getting stuff ready etc and maybe they will help.

HeadFairy Tue 15-Sep-09 19:11:40

I feel (or perhaps felt is more accurate) the same, but I think I that was more because I'd had two mcs very close together and then got pg immediately, and fully expected to lose it again. It was probably a survival thing, but I put my pregnancy to the back of my mind, to the extent I forgot on a couple of occasions! With ds I was thinking about him from day one, trying to imagine what he'd look like, what his personality would be like. With this baby (which I know is a girl, but it feels odd to refer to her as a girl iyswim) I haven't given her a second thought. We have nothing for her (but I do have three months to go). It's slightly surreal, but I've reassured myself that it'll change once she's born.

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