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Miserable and crying all the time

(6 Posts)
Labella77 Sat 12-Sep-09 20:13:12

Hello, i wanted to write this to see if it makes me feel better, but i can't stop feeling so miserable at the moment and down. Can you get pre-natal depression does that exist?

I'm 37.5 weeks, on crutches as i have torn a ligament in my hip, have varicose veins in the vag and cannot do anything because of the searing pain. I can't sleep a night through. Annoyingly my bathroom is on the floor below my bedroom, so twice a night when i go to the loo i'm risking death on the bloody crutches whilst trying to stop wee pouring down my legs. God i feel sorry for myself. The problem is i can't seem to snap out of it. To top it all off i have the worst wind ever as my baby is kicking me in the bowels.

My wonderful friends came today and threw me a lunch party and we played silly games and even that didn't cheer me up.

My baby is breech and i'm booked in for a C-section on the 23rd. Although it's the best for her to come out safely i feel a bit of a failure at not having a VB. And yes i know that is irrational, but i can't help it. My lovely husband i think is just about sick of me being in tears either through pain or feeling depressed.

I'm so worried about after the birth, where not only can i not walk without crutches because of the hip rip, but I'll be recovering from a CS - how can i look after my baby like that properly? I cant' stop crying now thinking about it i feel such a failure.

Will this stop or will i carry on this feelign of failure though after the birth and get all depressed afterwards? God i hope not.

crokky Sat 12-Sep-09 20:17:30

You will have a lovely baby soon and having had a 2 horrible (different to yours) pregnancies myself, it does improve hugely once the baby is born. You will feel so much better - yes you will have to recover, but I found the recoveries much easier than the pregnancies.

There is no need to feel a failure for having a CS - your baby will be born whichever route he/she takes and he/she will still be your lovely baby. Hopefully your DH has paternity leave to help you immediately after the birth? We don't put whether we had VBs or CSs on our CVs!! It is not relevant - you do your best for your baby and that's it!

Re needing the toilet in the night - can you get a bucket or something like that so that you don't have to do the stairs?

Comma2 Sat 12-Sep-09 20:19:12

Hi sweetheart, I know exactly how you feel. Tell your doctor about it, you may very well have antenatal depression, and it should be monitored. There are medications you can take that are safe for baby. Give your doc a call and go see him right away.

MummyElk Sat 12-Sep-09 20:34:17

hello poor you i think you are doing a fab job coping with such discomfort...
I was going to suggest a bucket too - i had a pg friend with a bathroom three floors down who did exactly that and she wasn't on crutches!!
There is a light at the end of the tunnel - and that's your beautiful baby who will arrive very soon and will only have eyes for you smile. Don't discount hormones - they are rubbish sometimes and I bet you are full of them - and it's natural to feel a bit worried about such a change in your life. You'll be fab at it, even without realising!
And absolutely agree on the CS on your CV statement - me and my little brother wouldn't be here if it wasn't for CS. The (invisible) badge you'll wear is for being a Mum, NOT for the type of birth you have.
And who's to say you couldn't do a VBAC next time if you chose to?
chin up lovey - look after yourself

tethersend Sat 12-Sep-09 21:11:33

I had ante-natal depression and a breech baby too- we should start a club wink

Just wanted to tell you that an elective cs is great- it really is. Scary, undoubtedly, but calm and labour-pain free. Really is the safest way with a breech baby. I would second what crokky and Mummyelk say, (it doesn't go on your cv smile) and once you're a mum, there's a whole other lot of stuff people will judge you on; none of it matters, this is your baby, you will do it your way and you will be a wonderful mum.

There is absolutely no point in worrying about what will happen after your baby is born- we have no frame of reference for what parenthood brings, and we simply cannot imagine what having a baby is like- so don't waste energy worrying about how you will feel. It is possible you will feel down after she is born; it is also possible that you will not. Worrying about it now won't make a bit of difference.

Being a mum is so much better than being pregnant.

As regards your recovery and care of the baby- she won't be running around! With a bit of preparation, you can quite easily care for your baby for the whole day without moving off the sofa (I did). Moses basket, changing things, bottles & formula if you use it, spare clothes all within arm's reach and- bingo! Instant motherhood.

I was able to take my dd out after a week, and I wasn't one of those super-quick cs recoveries you hear about. I didn't have a hip injury, but did have back problems that severely hampered my mobility for a while; besides which, I think even fit and healthy people don't leave the house for weeks after having a baby.

Good luck with everything

memorylapse Sat 12-Sep-09 21:41:33

I really feel for you..I was in agony at the end of my last pregnancy..with spd and like you a varicose vein in the worst place possible!..I was a tearful wreck the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy and was so releived to be booked in for an induction at 38 weeks..I think I would consider the bucket idea..its got to be better than battling down the stairs

Please dont beat yourself up about the fact you are having a c section..whats important is that your dc comes into the world safely which ever route he/she takes smile

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