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Just can't let myself get excited about this pregnancy

(8 Posts)
CoffeeAndCarrotCake Thu 10-Sep-09 23:50:51

I've just found out that I'm pregnant (only 5 weeks or so) but I'm not letting myself get excited about it at all. I miscarried at 8 weeks in May, and now I can't help thinking that this will go the same way. sad

I have a fantastic (and currently VERY bossy) 2yo DD, and we so want another baby, but I'm scared to believe that this pregnancy might actually result in a healthy baby.

Has anyone else felt this? Did you start getting excited at all? I'm hoping that if and when we've had a successful scan I'll relax a bit.

cathcat Fri 11-Sep-09 00:09:59

Congratulations! I think it is normal to be cautious until your scan. Plus you say you have just found out so you are still getting used to the idea.

HappyButWorried Fri 11-Sep-09 05:34:01

CoffeeandCarrotCake, I had exactly the same as you, miscarried with my second pregnancy, then got pregnant again fairly quickly with my now DS. I was so worried early on as I kept feeling like my period was going to start. My GP was great and said I could call any time I was worried. She said it's normal to feel like your period is going to start in early pregnancy. Could you call your GP or midwife for a chat? You may even be able to have an early scan.

Gargula Fri 11-Sep-09 06:24:31

I too have had a similar experience. I miscarried with first pregnancy (a missed miscarriage so only found out at 12 weeks) and after that didn't really enjoy my second pregnancy with DS.
I am now pregnant again, 9 weeks, and am finding it difficult to believe its real, even though I have had an early scan at 8 weeks (private - they wouldn't refer me to EPU on the NHS) and have seen a strong HB.
My main worry is that I get no symptoms at all. I get so jealous of people talking about their morning sickness - which is crazy!
As HappyButWorried suggests I would recommend trying to talk to midwife or GP and arrange for an early scan. I remember they did refer me to have a scan with DS at six weeks, and seeing that HB then was the best feeling! If they wont perhaps look into going for private scan - mine cost £55 and it was well worth it.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Fri 11-Sep-09 16:31:51

Thanks for the kind and sensible messages - I think I will ask for an early scan. I've also seen another thread on here with a similar story, but with a very sad ending, so trying not to dwell on that one! With DD it never crossed my mind that I might miscarry, so hopefully I'll edge a little closer to that frame of mind soon.

Thanks again!


QTPie Fri 11-Sep-09 16:52:26


I am pregnant (now just under 20 weeks) after a MC (at 5.5 weeks) in March.

I know what you mean: first pregnancy (MC) I fell "hook line and sinker" from the moment I BFP'd. The second pregancy, I didn't let myself get too attached early on.

To be honest, most areas will not allow you an early scan on the NHS (unless you have maybe had 3+ MCs and are being supervised by an Obstetrician for MCs...). BUT there are plenty of places that offer them privately (for between £50 and £100). This is what we did - at about 8 weeks - and it was REALLY worth the peace of mind. Don't have it too early - since you want to be at the stage when the heart is DEFINITELY beating (for a lot more reassurance).

We then took everything one step at a time: early scan gave some reassurance, 12 week combined nuchal scan gave quite a lot more, we have our 20 week scan on Monday, but are already "hook line and sinker" again...). You feelings WILL develope, but it takes time and reassurance really helps.

To be honest with you, the huge majority of people who have an MC go on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy next time. You have an edge on me (I have no previous children) because you have proved that you can already "do it" (i.e. have a healthy child). So take some comfort in that smile

Good luck

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Sun 13-Sep-09 19:50:14

Oh please come and join us on the Totally's Grads thread. We are all in exactly the same situation.

hobnob57 Sun 13-Sep-09 21:07:40

I had a MMC at 9 weeks, and when I got pg again I was in deep denial. In fact, my 1st pg I had dreadful nausea and vomiting from 6-18 weeks and so when at 7 weeks the nausea stopped and I felt as if my body was delfating, I phoned up the MW in such a state that she conceded to offer me a scan at the EPU, and there was a healthy heartbeat on the screen! This still wasn't enough to reassure me since my MMC measured 7+3 weeks and I couldn't persuade myself that things were going to be ok.

The sickness started again, but never with the same vengeance as with DD. My 12 week scan came and went, (and the sickness 13 weeks) but it wasn't until I heard the heartbeat at 16 weeks that I felt in myself that I was actually admitting that I was 'pregnant' as opposed to 'likely to miscarry at any moment'.

I can't say I've ever let myself get 'excited' about this pg - the let's see attitude is still pervading my outlook, but this time around I've been so distracted by my own very bossy 2yo and the sudden realisation that we need to extend the house and all plans and nesting that go with that that I have still to sit down with myself and think of this wriggly thing as a little person. And a very much-wanted one at that. And I'm 32 weeks!

I hope that you do manage to relax. I know there's no point telling you to, but do keep speaking to your GP/MW about it because sometimes they do listen and surprise you. Good luck xx

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