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I'm new at this and really firghtened....

(15 Posts)
LauraFirstTimeMum Thu 10-Sep-09 14:18:40

I have so many unanswered questions, and i have only recently found out i am pregnant. I have been with my partner for over a year, and this was totally unplanned. I have no idea when my last period was, so have no idea what to tell the doctor/midwife. I would really apreciate any help/guidance anyone can give me. Please don't think i am a bad person, it was just really unexpected, and i'm still in a bit of shock. I'm tired, emotional, and frightened.

rubyslippers Thu 10-Sep-09 14:20:57

aw - PG can be very over whelming even if it is "planned"

firstly, call your GP and get an appt

do not worry about your LMP date at this point

they won't think you are a bad person either smile

are you taking folic acid? If not, then get some supplements and stop drinking and smoking if you are

try to relax and talk to your partner ...

good luck

TheOldestCat Thu 10-Sep-09 14:21:45

No-one will think bad of you! I'm sorry you're in shock about this right now.

I've no specific advice to offer, but just wanted to offer a bit of support. Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel?

Don't worry about not knowing your last period date; the doctor/midwife will know how to help you. Perhaps ring your surgery, explain you're pregnant and ask what happens next? Some practical help might make you feel better emotionally too.

claricebeansmum Thu 10-Sep-09 14:23:27

Laurafirsttimemum - welcome! You have come to the right place. You are not alone for sure and there are always loads of people around for support, chat and a laugh grin.

It is daunting - even those who plan their pregnancies are overwhelmed. DS was a bit of a surprise and DH and I were worried we wouldn't even know which way up to hold a baby!

Make an appointment to see your GP as they can talk through with you your options. Is there anyway you can guestimate your dates? If you carry through your pregnancy then scans can help date things for you. Also, babies don't know anything about due dates so if all is proceeding well then not much to worry about!

Take care.

KnickersandVests Thu 10-Sep-09 14:25:18

Oh darling you do sound very scared, but welcome! You've come to the right place, I think we're all tired and emotional smile

Don't worry too much about your dates lots and lots of people don't know, they can tell a lot from an early scan, which you will get in due course.

Have you made your appt with the doc/ midwife? If you ring your surgery and tell them your preggers they'll tell you what their procedure is and will book you in.

Congratulations! It's lovely having a baby, honest!

NaptimeRocks Thu 10-Sep-09 14:25:59

Well, first of all, I have to say congratulations! What you're feeling is completely normal and many women feel this way - planned or unplanned!!

Go and see your doctor, simply tell them you are pregnant but don't know when your last period was and they will probably send you for a dating scan to determine how far along you are. This is a VERY common situation, so they won't blink an eyelid!! You're not a bad person at all.

This is going to be an emotional year for you, one way or another - do you have the support of family and/or friends? have you talked to your partner about it all yet? Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence. MNers are simply fab at answering all questions - even if you think they are silly. Do you have any other questions you want to ask right now?

NaptimeRocks Thu 10-Sep-09 14:26:39

Oooh yes - what rubyslippers said about folic acid too.

Roomfor2 Thu 10-Sep-09 14:26:41

You'll start to feel better once you get a bit further along - it's probably all the hormones and the shock making you feel all up in the air.

Don't worry about the date of last period business - they will give you a scan and that will tell them your dates anyway.

Definitely talk to your partner about it and go and see your midwife/GP. Once you have some input from other people, you will feel less panicked.

Good luck!

LauraFirstTimeMum Thu 10-Sep-09 14:30:52

Thanks. I only found out tuesday, and have been on the pill, so it was a real shock. I called my doctor, and they just booked me in with a midwife next week. I honestly can't put my finger on when my LMP was though and am worried about telling the midwife that. My Partner is being great and really supportive, but he's shocked too, and i don't want to freak him out anymore than he probably is already. I'm trying to read up as much as i can on the net, but it's all very similar, and too textbook for me.

I feel a bit lost, and even reading those replies made me well up. Am i going to be this emotional for the next 9 bloody months?! I've got a constant dull headache and am absolutely shattered

Vallmo Thu 10-Sep-09 14:36:24

Hi LauraFirstTimeMum, this is the first time for me too so I can relate to your feelings. It is a big thing, especially when it's not been planned. There are so many hormons playing games as well and you feel different in a way you've not felt before which can be both confusing and scary - but also wonderful if you feel ready to have a baby.

Some pregnancy tests will give you an indication of how many weeks you are. I am not really sure how reliable they are but I think they are pretty good and at least it could be a starting point? You only need to tell your GP/Midwife that you don't know when your last period was and they should be able to advice you on the best way to estimate your due date.

This forum is a great source of information and you will also be given tons of information from your midwife about your pregnancy. NHS also has a pregnancy website with useful information which perhaps can shed some light on some of your questions.

If you have specific questions already now, then post them here and you'll see that there are plenty of helpful souls around to share their experiences and expertise with you.

Can you talk to your partner about your feelings so that the two of you can support eachother and make joint decisions?

Roomfor2 Thu 10-Sep-09 14:37:06

The headache and tiredness will pass. They suggest to me (not a trained midwife, just fellow pg person) that you might be somewhere between 6 and 12-13 weeks because that is when the tiredness is the worst.

If you were on the pill, can you work out from that when your last period was? If you get your period in the pill-free gap?

Honestly, don't worry about it. The only reason for knowing when your last period was is to give you a rough idea of dates before your scan. Once you have a scan, the dates are based on that and the period dates are null and void.

KorrallKrabba Thu 10-Sep-09 14:38:14

Nothing quite prepares you for the first 10-12 weeks - which can be a complete drag (tiredness like you've never, ever felt and in my case off-the-planet moodiness), but thereafter, you'll probably find you have a brand new lease on life and a much more chilled perspective on all. Sympathies, it can feel ropey when you're in the thick of it, but soon passes.

LauraFirstTimeMum Thu 10-Sep-09 14:44:57

I'm pretty sure i can guess when my baby was conceieved as i was on Antibiotics end of July beggining of Aug, but my periods are always a bit irregular. I honestly can't remember if i had one in July or not?! I've been on the pill for years and am pretty good at taking it, but i've never been like clock-work with my periods. The only reason i knew something was wrong was because i was feeling so rough.

I'm pretty lucky that my friend and sister have both just had babies, but i'm not ready to tell anyone just yet. At least until i have seen the midwife. My partner is being amazing, and really just worried about me. He can see how tired i am, and wants me to stay at home, rather than go to work! Bless him. We're both first timers at this, and i just think it is going to take a while to get used to.

Thanks for all your help ladies, i feel better already

NaptimeRocks Thu 10-Sep-09 17:49:54

Glad you're feeling a bit better - and that you have a supportive partner. There are scary but truly wonderful times ahead for you both!!

Someone once said to me that an unwanted pregnancy doesn't mean an unwanted baby smile

ErikaMaye Thu 10-Sep-09 18:06:36


Just thought I'd say that I'm not 30+3 with my first - and I cannot express just how unplanned it was!!! My DP and I had only been together five weeks when I found out we were expecting... So yeah. Can relate on that front grin

Don't worry about your period dates - I had NO idea. Midwife was really nice about it, I'm sure I wasn't the first, and won't be the last, who couldn't remember!! So try not to think too much about that. Mine were pretty irregular too, so was totally blank. (Although the fact we'd only been together five weeks meant I could kinda work it out by the first time we had sex blush grin) Once they do the first scan you'll get a better idea than you can from knowing your dates anyway.

The first trimester is quite frankly a b*tch. You will be absolutely exauhsted, and an emotional wreck, as well as possibly throwing up in every direction - its like being hung over for 12 weeks!! But it does go Mine was worse between weeks 6 and 10, before and after that its pretty bareable, in my experience, at least.

Do speak to your partner - glad to he is being supportive so far - even if you are worried about frightening him. This is something that you're both involved with, after all. It is difficult discussing it at first - for what its worth, DP and I found it easiest to start discussing names for Godparents, as it got us used to talking about the baby without actually talking about it as a person, if that makes sense!!

Best of luck, someone is always around if you need to chat

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