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feeling really low...convinced baby is dead :-(

(104 Posts)
Nemo1977 Thu 02-Jun-05 22:30:53

hi all
i need to get this out cos my head is done in.
I am supposed to be 12wks tommorow but dont have another scan till 9th august. I had a scan at 8wks to check viability and they saw a heartbeat.
I just feel really bad at the min. I have had 3mcs in past and last was a missed mc where baby died at around 9wks. I dont know why i think baby is gone but i just feel it is. I am sitting here crying and getting stressed as i know there is nothing i can do. I am due to see mw again on tues but prob wont be able to hear hb with doppler as with ds i was 16wks before i could hear it.
I was feeling really sick etc until about 4 days ago. Everything has just stopped which i know can happen around now anyway but it isnt helping...i just dont know what to do my head is messed up. sorry for moaning but i just feel so lost

Xena Thu 02-Jun-05 22:33:26

Nemo would your G.P. refer you for another scan?
Sorry you are feeling so low I know that if I get pg again I will be ultra paranoid and I have had 3 succesfull pgs xxxxxxxx

aloha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:33:57

Poor you. You know, once the heartbeat has been seen the risk of m/c drops absolutely astronomically. I'll try to find you a reference for that. YOu know logically that around 12 weeks is absolutely the time when morning sickness tends to fade anyway, but this isn't about logic, it's about feelings and with a missed m/c at 9 weeks, I can understand your feeling anxious.
Can you distract yourself? Read something, watch telly, call a friend about something different?

Katemum Thu 02-Jun-05 22:33:57

It sounds like you need to try and get them to give you another scan just for peace of mind. This is causing you too much upset just to let go.
I think I would contact the midwife asap and explain how you are feeling.
am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Frizbe Thu 02-Jun-05 22:34:46

Nemo, don't worry hun, this time its all going to be fine, but you know, you can ring the maternity ward, even this early and get them to check you over, I'm sure they wouldn't mind {{{{HUGS}}}} and best wishes.

NannyJo Thu 02-Jun-05 22:34:50

speak to your midwife tommorrow and explain how you are feeling. all the worry isn't going to do you or your baby any good. you may very well be able to hear the heartbeat next week. try to be positive and relax a little for the sake of you and your baby. I'm sure things will be ok.

Good luck, i hope youe feel better and things work out for you.

Puff Thu 02-Jun-05 22:34:52

Nemo, you poor thing . If you tell the midwife how bad and anxious you are feeling, I wonder if an earlier scan could be arranged - I don't know about these things - maybe someone else on here does.

ChaCha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:34:58

Hi Nemo,
Sorry you're feeling this way
Hopefully everything is fine, doesn't help much when scan seems so far away. Maybe it would put your mind at rest if you could book a private scan. Do you think that's a possibility?
I've only been PG once, and this is my first but i notice that my symptoms come and go. I can understand your concern but try to hold on until Tuesday or book a scan privately.
Am thinking of you and we are all here for you.
Love Chachi xx

Nemo1977 Thu 02-Jun-05 22:35:02

xena thanks for replying
gp is crap i asked her to refer me for viability scan which she didnt do. In end mw did it when i saw her. however i didnt realise that to get that scan i would for go my normal 12wk one.

ambrosia Thu 02-Jun-05 22:35:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marialou Thu 02-Jun-05 22:37:01

why don't you ring your midwife in the morning. She must know your history so may be able to arrange a scan for you. After all the worry isn't good for the baby so she'll probably want to set your mind at rest.

Remember morning sickness is supposed to improve about now

Nemo1977 Thu 02-Jun-05 22:37:05

hi all
cant afford private scan or would have jumped on that

dh is great but he doesnt know what to do and he just gets upset.

i just feel stuck..am seeing mw on tues so am going to see what she says but just hate the fact i feel like i am safe and then something smacks me in face again...stupid i know

vickiyumyum Thu 02-Jun-05 22:39:01

Nemo, do you ahve an early pregnancy unit at your hospital? perhaps you could give them a ring and explain your situation and then go in for another scan, or perhaps your community midwif could come round and listen in with teh sonicaid, although if you are on the larger side this can be difficult at 12 weeks, so if a heartbeat wasn't found with a sonicaid might make you worry more.

aloha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:39:15

Poor you. You know, once the heartbeat has been seen the risk of m/c drops absolutely astronomically. I'll try to find you a reference for that. YOu know logically that around 12 weeks is absolutely the time when morning sickness tends to fade anyway, but this isn't about logic, it's about feelings and with a missed m/c at 9 weeks, I can understand your feeling anxious.
Can you distract yourself? Read something, watch telly, call a friend about something different?

Xena Thu 02-Jun-05 22:40:03

Nemo That is so crap of your G.P. . You are intitled to your 12wk scan you should call the hospital you are under and say that you have been forgotten. That is when your nuchal fold tests etc will be done.

aloha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:40:44

Can't do a link but found a quote from Professor James Walker - prof of obs and gynae at Leeds University, who says that if you have a healthy heartbeat at an 8 week scan, you have a 95% chance of a successful pregnancy. I don't think you can have better odds than that in the real world.

Puff Thu 02-Jun-05 22:40:57

It's not stupid Nemo - you are bound to feel anxious - it would be odd if you weren't tbh. Do make sure you tell the mw just how much this is worrying you - we're all guilty of walking into the surgery and playing down how bad something is, when we get there.

Katemum Thu 02-Jun-05 22:41:02

Xena I had an early scan and was then not given the 12 week one, seems to be standard.

vickiyumyum Thu 02-Jun-05 22:41:34

Nemo which area do you live in? if near me i could find the telephone number for the early pregnancy unit for you.

Nemo1977 Thu 02-Jun-05 22:43:12

xena it was hospital who cancelled 12wk scan.they said cos i had one at 8wks they have changed policy to only one scan b4 20wks despite history.
Also about the risk of mc going down i asked them that and they said no it just means the pg is viable at the moment not that mc is any less likely..which of course is the only thing that has stuck in my bloody head.

am going to see a friend tommorow who has a doppler cos shes about 14wks pg and shes going to try n find heartbeat but yes i am on larger side so am aware it can be harder as thats what happened with ds.

aloha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:43:15

And I agree wtih Xena - insist!! You have the right to a 12 week scan. This is when they can look at the baby and do a nuchal fold test etc etc. It is a different sort of scan altogether. I had 2 early scans because of bleeding and there was no question of not doing the 12 week scan! Outrageous. Insist! Call the hospital and just book it directly actually. Tell them the midwife told you to do it.

aloha Thu 02-Jun-05 22:44:26

Nemo, what they told you isn't true. Of course it doesn't mean a miscarriage is impossible, but it DRAMATICALLY reduces the risk! My hospital (Kings in London) also told me this.
WHere are you???

Xena Thu 02-Jun-05 22:44:34

am under Bexley HA and I thought that they were bad but an early scan there doesn't remove your right to a 12wk one. What HA are you under?

mears Thu 02-Jun-05 22:44:44

Nemo - call your midwife tomorrow and tell her how you are feeling. In my area you would be referred to the early pregnancy unit for a scan for reassurance and this could be arranged by the midwife.

You may not be feeling sick any more because you have passed that phase by reaching 12 weeks.

Give your midwife a call though so she can help put your mind at rest.

vickiyumyum Thu 02-Jun-05 22:45:27

at 12 weeks it could still be right down in your pelvis sometimes it appears so low that you think it can't possibly be that low, and remeber cos its so little its got lots of room to movwe about so don't panic if you can't find it, perhaps take a break and try again later.

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