How the hell do you keep it secret?!(14 Posts)
Anyone got any snazzy tips for keeping early pregnancy a secret?
I'm seven weeks and really would like to keep shtum until everything is a little more official.
But am really struggling to keep it a secret. I went to a wedding last weekend and insisted on having fizzy water in champagne glasses and swapping wine glasses with my husband... but as soon as i said i'd given up smoking, all my friends got inquisitive then one friend noticed i wasn't drinking any cocktails and asked if i was pregnant... - would love to hear anyone's advice on how to stop people gossiping... especially as i have another wedding this weekend... xxx
I don't know from experience yet (coming off the pill next week) but, I'm planning on blaming my migraines. I'm not a heavy drinker anyway but if I've had or am getting a migraine I tend to not drink anyway.
As for smoking, just tell them you're planning on starting a family and that you want to get your body in tip top shape.
I've told people we'll start trying 'some time' after we've moved into our house. Only a few people know that I'm actually stopping my pill next week and will start trying as soon as we're in the house. Will buy us a few months, then a few months when people want to be polite.
How I keep it from my 8 year old DSS who will see Mummy 'not right' is a whole 'nother issue!!
Congratulations by the way!
It is easy to look like you are drinking!
Accept the Champagne and discreetly swith with your other half when nobody is looking.
Start drinking long mixers with lemon or lime. No body will know if there is gin or vodka in it.
Lots of people stop smoking all the time. Or just say you've just had one if asked.
My best tip is not to decline alcoholic drinks - just don't drink them and whatever you do don't get into any discussions about what you are drinking.
What I mean is, waft around the wedding clutching a half full glass of wine or champagne. If anyone asks you if you need a refill, decline or say 'perhaps in a minute', if pushed accept the refill and then maybe leave your wine glass on one side and forget to pick it up. Have a glass of water on the side to keep hydrated. Or you could drink some orange juice and let people think that there might be a sneaky vodka in it.
Or you could be the designated driver (I seem to have been doing this for years, what with TTC, 2 pregnancies, 2 lots of breastfeeding). And if anyone asks just say that DH drove last time....
Good luck - and lots of congratulations to you.
I carried a half full bottle of beer round with me at parties.
To top-ups, you brandish your half full glass and say 'I've just had one, thanks'
I proclaim I was under antibiotics for some kind of infections.
Most people did buy this excuse for a few weeks at least...
I didn't/couldn't keep it a secret.
From 4 weeks I was being physically sick at least 2 or 3 times each day.
I also stopped drinking. It was over the summer with lots of summer social events such as BBQs, etc.
People knew we'd been TTC as had had an early mc 15 months previously.
So close family guessed at about 4.5-5 weeks pg. And school knew when I went back after the school holidays, when I was about 10 weeks pg as I kept having to leave my classroom to be sick.
Congrats!! I found that the antibiotics fib and designated driver status just about saw me through to 12 weeks, although a couple of more switched on friends had started to get suspicious!!
This actually annoyed me to no end at the start, people quizzing if I was drinking or not - and I simply gave up when I realised there was no chance I was going to go through my hen night/wedding/wedding party and a trip to Spain not drinking. I felt better about it anyway once I had a scan done at 8 weeks and we heard the heartbeat.
Unfortunately I was so so sick from early on I could not keep it a secret. The fact that I was too sick to attend many functions left people concerned, and then when people visited I blamed migraine (not stomach bugs or else no-one would have visited me!) and friends became increasingly concerned as I looked so ill and was clearly hiding something, so I had to tell them, gradually (closest most perceptive friends first).
In the end, I felt that if something did not work out, I would prefer my closest friends to know anyway for support. Those who I did not know so well, did not really pay much attention.
But for the short time I was able to keep it a secret, I did as others did, carried around a half drunk drink, be designated driver (mostly that is my role anyway as I have a dd, so one of us does not drink if we go out together).
I am the most truthful person in the world but I did manage to keep it a secret. I would go with the multiple excuses approach.
I answered the following on numerous different occasions:
*I'm driver again "raise eyes to ceiling"
*Ooh "whisper" I've got a bit of a dodgy tummy
*Antibiotics, ear infection, dontcha know...
*Eurgh, I 'ad a skinful last night, let me tell you.....
We kept it a secret and we had been trying for ages and people knew that. Saying that we just didn't go to EVERY social occasion we were invited to and luckily had no weddings although I am liking other people's tips above.
We found it was nice to have "our little secret" so that was an incentive to keep going. I'm 15 weeks now and still haven't told some people as it is fun to keep telling them.
A friend of mine who normally smoked and drank, told everyone that she was giving up smoking. She then added that because she always had a cig with alcohol she was trying to break the cycle as they were two things she put together. Everyone fell for it including me! I think she was sucessful at hiding it because she told everyone first before we had a chance to notice!
I think I would find it near to impossible. Especially as I am known as a debunker of the antibiotics fib (it's only a really select class of antibiotics that have any interaction with alcohol).
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