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VERY personal question here...1st timer wondering how 'down there' is afterwards...!!

(64 Posts)
brightonbleach Sat 29-Aug-09 11:51:56

don't reply if you're horrified at my asking please!! 1st timer, 31weeks, was heading to a c-section they were telling me cos of diabetes and breech bubba but he has turned now and is a normal size so far, so they are talking natural birth to me now. I haven't got my head around this yet (!) and am half excited half scared... and, is this a ridiculous or selfish thing to ask people but I am 36 and wondering whether 'ahem - down below' will recover or is it as some naysayers are telling me "It'll never be the same" gulp blush Sorry if this is a horrible question, any experiences shared or honest comments welcomed!! obviously I'm mostly focussing on the baby and the best birth for him - but theres a teeeeeeeeny bit of me wondering about this personal question for myself having never done it before...teeny tiny....!! best wishes all.

LadyStealthPolarBear Sat 29-Aug-09 11:56:28

same as anything - you always hear the horror stories. There's no doubt it can affect some people badly but I've not noticed any difference so far. About to have no 2 though and I think I won't be so lucky - already thinking I should have done more pelvic floor exercises
Anyway, I think "it'll never be the same" is an exageration. Some poor women are affected seriously, but even if you do have some problems, more than likely they will be fixable.

ChookKeeper Sat 29-Aug-09 12:01:28

Well..... I had a look with a mirror the day after and it looked like half a pound of liver shock - so I wouldn't bother doing that smile.

Had a big first baby and tore quite badly (many stitches) and it did take quite some time for it all to feel 'normal' again (scared to have a number 2 for ages smile). Second baby was more of an average size and I only had one stitch - back to nearly normal by the time of my 6 week check up.

It's never 'the same' again as it's all been stretched, but pelvic floor exercises do make a difference.

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Sat 29-Aug-09 12:01:38

Everyone is different I expect and so will feel differently after the birth depending on how the labour was.
Personally both my births were straightforward and I only suffered a tiny laceration to my labia (ds) and perineum (dd) and so escaped stitches.
For the first few weeks yes down there does feel different. It takes time for everything to 'go back'. DP says I havent really changed down there at all....which is good to hear! grin Do your pelvic floor exercises, that's the main thing i think!

ChookKeeper Sat 29-Aug-09 12:02:33

FYI - number 2 =poo (not second baby)

suwoo Sat 29-Aug-09 12:07:37

Don't ask me, you really won't want to know my answer hmm


Good luck by the way.

morningpaper Sat 29-Aug-09 12:10:01

People who claim that nothing changes clearly do not possess a mirror

Think Kent's Cavern stuffed with kebabs

mrsruffallo Sat 29-Aug-09 12:14:22

Do you know the song 'Do your ears hang low?'
Bit like that

morningpaper Sat 29-Aug-09 12:21:07

Yes, I must admit that when I do tie my labia in a bow, it looks much tidier

brightonbleach Sat 29-Aug-09 12:30:22

grin very reassuring you lot! right, off to do pelvic floor exercises all day hmm

at least we can laugh about it......

HidingFromTheDM Sat 29-Aug-09 12:31:42

grin @ morningpaper

For me personally, it doesn't feel any different. DH actually says it feels better for him now than before DD was born.

It definitely looks different though. And I don't know for a fact (as I don't go around asking my friends to show me theirs...), but I think its fairly common for the look of down there to change dramatically.

Don't worry too much about it. Your fanjo will be the last thing you are thinking about in the first few weeks. Congratulations and sending good vibes for a smooth birth.

madeupsurname Sat 29-Aug-09 12:34:07

Also, don't worry about having stitches. I did, and then had to have loads, and I can honestly say it was a walk in the park. I hardly felt them healing, the stitches dissolved by themselves, and I can scarcely feel the scar now.

The piles on the other hand...shock

MrsBarbaraKingstanding Sat 29-Aug-09 12:36:10

Really? Does it look diferent?

I've had 2 natural births, and maybe I've just not got a good memory or poor observation bt before kids it just lokked kind of layered and um 'messy' down there and now it looks just the same.

what's changed for the rest of you? what should I be looking for?

BB all women with nice Dh's that I know have been reassured that it doesn't feel differnt for them atre kids, but we don't wheher to believe this or not.

eightisseventoomany Sat 29-Aug-09 12:36:20

The whole body changes after a baby...
and every subsequent baby will bring more changes...
Moreso.....The boobs, belly & bottom are most noticable than downstairs !!!

But most men will love these changes....its what makes you a woman & mother to his child !!

It may look slightly different.....but it still feels & functions the same !!!
(give it a few weeks to heal though !! )

(just make sure you do keep up the pelvic floor excercises if you still want to possess some extra magic hehe!!!)

Normally returns to pre-preg state after about 6 weeks....just slightly more womanly wink

morningpaper Sat 29-Aug-09 12:40:21

Beforehand, mine was like a peach

Now: see below

My DH says it is like the Tardis - it may look compact on the outside, but it's surprisingly roomy on the inside

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Sat 29-Aug-09 12:41:34

Firstly, it doesn't matter because you have your babba and a hideous jelly belly so you'll never consider sex again anyway Don't worry, that bits just me.

But fangino-wise, I had a second degree tear and when they sewed it back, they left an unsightly flap- kind of like a teeny weeny willy. And I have a 'graze' behind my clit that hurts like mad sometimes- it cramps. In fact, it all looks a bit mushed, and I wouldn't want to look at it, I like to imagine it looks al together and nice.

But I have a beautiful DS, another one on the way (so yes, I did have sex again, just the once though of course ;)) and I don't really care.

My mum says her fangino went straight back to normal, but she didn't tear so maybe that's why.

whomovedmychocolate Sat 29-Aug-09 12:43:47

2 caesarians and mine looks no different to pre-pregnancy - apart from the hideous scar in among my pubic hair of course hmm

LoveBeingAMummy Sat 29-Aug-09 12:45:21

pmsl @ morningpaper - now thats a quote for the dm!

doing your pelvic floor is really important.

tbh I asked my mw what it looked like afterwards and she told me to have a look....kinda wished i hadn't at first but now its fine smile

MrsMattie Sat 29-Aug-09 12:45:28


It's a win-some-lose-some situation, isn't it? Nice tight fanjo, shitty c-section overhang <does juggling action with hands> Dunno which is worse.

HidingFromTheDM Sat 29-Aug-09 12:46:34

gringringrin morningpaper Tardis indeed!!

MrsBarbaraKingstanding Sat 29-Aug-09 12:47:02

Ah MP, you have an honest DH!

Mine was never like a peach.(vag not DH. Actaully neither.)

'But most men will love these changes....its what makes you a woman & mother to his child !!'
Blimey even my Dh doesn't go this far.

ime men would prefer you yo look loevly toned and nubile, but generally have the brains and integrity to accept that this will not alays be the case for you or them, and so love and commit to imperefect you.

But given a choice we and them would opt for childbearing without strechmarks.

ladylush Sat 29-Aug-09 12:48:11

A good question to ask imo. I had a vaginal delivery with my first baby (32 yrs old) and if anything things felt tighter than before - so much so it was painful having sex. The episotomy scar caused me a lot of discomfort as well. It was a good 6-8 months before I felt that it had healed. Just had dd (37 yrs old) and birth was c-section as she was breech and my waters had gone so they couldn't turn her. No changes down below obviously though quite rusty from lack of use grin but I have been surprised at how long the bleeding has lasted for. 6 weeks later I am still getting some. It had stopped 3 weeks after my vaginal delivery. Other things can make the area tender apart from the birth itself e.g. episotomy, instrumental deliveries, catheters etc. Also bf makes the after pains very painful ime - but it doesn't last long. But giving birth has not stretched my bits thankfully smile
Good luck with the birth smile

SoupDragon Sat 29-Aug-09 12:51:28

"at least we can laugh about it...... "

Not if you've been lax with your pelvic floor exercise you can't.

It will never be the same again, unless you have surgery. You know how you blow a balloon up and when it's let down it's never quite the same as it was before...? Squeezing a melon through your fanjo has a similar effect.

HidingFromTheDM Sat 29-Aug-09 12:55:20

SoupDragon that is the most ridiculous analogy I have ever heard!!

But also the true-est!! grin

eightisseventoomany Sat 29-Aug-09 12:57:38

lol @ Mrsbarbra

I was trying to be nice & not scare the hell out of her before baby arrives ..haha..

Once baby out...and it looks like 300 kebabs have had a road'll be too late to worry...!!!

I dont know !!!
try to be diplomatic !!
grin grin grin


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