Talk

Advanced search

Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

This pregnancy lark is really getting me down - I feel awful today )-:

(40 Posts)
mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:18:10

Had a horrible dream last night about dh and woman that I hate. I couldnt even look at him this morning poor bloke sad

I feel fat, unattractive, bloated, smelly. The ASOS catalogue came this morning and I wanted to cry. I have lots of horrible pg ailments that make it even worse!

I miss my size 8 figure, I miss going to spin classes and admiring my arse in the mirror [shame], I miss being able to feel sexy and having dh wanting me, I miss sex, I miss having a life, I miss shopping, going out with dh or friends and driking loads of vodka and smoking marlboro lights.

10 weeks to go, but Im not sure I can cope with feeling like this for that long sad

MamaG Tue 25-Aug-09 11:20:49

Aw mosschops its awful when you feel shitty when pg. Can you go out for a nice giggly lunch with friends? How about a nice deep warm bath? Poor you

IsItMeOr Tue 25-Aug-09 11:24:35

Oh dear - that sounds like it might have been one of those mega-vivid pg-related dreams? I had a few weird ones, and they felt so real!

Have you talked to your DH about how you're feeling? A lot of men find pg women a real turn on, although tbh by around 30weeks I began to lose interest personally. A nice cuddle was always welcome though.

I know you might not be able to do your spin classes any more but are you doing some other form of exercise? I did pilates until the week before my due date, and they just changed the exercises I did. But it still helps keep your mood up.

What hobbies have you got that you can make the most of now - e.g. reading, films, anything that requires you to concentrate for more than 2 mins at a time, which you won't be able to do easily once the baby arrives?

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:25:26

Thanks smile

I cant really go far as not supposed to drive (postural hypotension - bollocks - but thats what GP said).
I have finished work now, which I thought would be great but in reality Im just bored shitless.

Maybe I need to make a daily plan of shit things to do to fill the time!
Perhaps when dc's go back to school next week i will get some routine going

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:29:10

Isitme - dh has never found me sexy during pg, he finds it weird and although he's tried to be nice about it, saying its not that he doesnt find me attractive but its just he feels there is someone else there IYKWIM. I long to go away with him when not pg and just have a weekend in bed!

Despite being fit pre-pregnancy I have done absolutely nothing since I was about 8 weeks blush. I was thinking about going back when dc's go back to school next week, maybe swimming and also pilates. Do you think I should make an appointment with one of the trainers to see what I can do and make a start? Will it be too hard to start doing anything again now?
And yes I love reading, need to get down to Tesco and buy some more books, as am reading a lot in the night atm

IsItMeOr Tue 25-Aug-09 11:34:15

Seeing a trainer sounds like a brilliant idea. I'm sure there will be something you can do.

LOL at daily plan of shit things to do. You're clearly having a tough time of it. Come on though, there must be some things you like doing that you can do?

Reading - yay! Don't forget your local library and charity shops have free/cheap books. I didn't figure this out until I'd spent a fair bit.

Have you got some photos that you've always wanted to get round to organising so that you can enjoy looking at them with the dcs?

BonsoirAnna Tue 25-Aug-09 11:34:23

When I was at your stage of pregnancy, and feeling similarly physically diminished, my sister (who had had three babies before me) said that I would start feeling better literally the minute I had given birth.

I hung on to that idea - and she was completely right. The instant I got home I was out in the garden taking deep breaths and doing exercises.

Not long to go...

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 11:40:15

Will ring the gym today and make appointment to see trainer and discuss what I can do smile

Have loads of photos under the bed that need putting in an album, so might do that with ds this afternoon.

BonsoirAnna - I cant wait for that moment, when my body becomes my own again. I know a lot of women love being pg but I am not one of them, I wish I was, but even the movements now make me feel nauseous, I hate my bump moving on its own and waking me up at night.

God I sound like a horrible person blush Im not really smile

IsItMeOr Tue 25-Aug-09 11:47:02

Yeah mosschops30, why aren't you channelling your inner earth mother ffs? grin

I thought the deal was that pg women were allowed to be as unreasonable as necessary to get through the whole pg and birth process?

Joy27 Tue 25-Aug-09 12:01:32

Poor you mosschops, sorry you are feeling so shit.

I'm only 17 weeks so haven't reached the tearing-hair-out stage yet.

But I did try pregnancy yoga the other night and it was really fab. Like you I used to do quite hardcore exercise but have been a total vegetable since being pregnant. I used to scoff at yoga- but actually it was great to feel I was stretching my muscles- an unfamiliar feeling this days!

I've also booked a trip to a health spa with my mum and sister in a couple of months time. It's pricey but I've asked for contributions for my birthday etc. I can't wait to have a weekend of indulgence.

(But if I could then get pissed on prosecco with them after lolling around getting massages all day, that would make it even better, admittedly!).

Obv that might not be practical/affordable, but I do find having things to look forward to helps a great deal whenever I feel low.

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 12:17:54

Actually joy, am about to book a day spa package at a local hotel that Ive been to a few times. Its very reasonable so dont feel guilty either.
Im just holding off until dc's are back in school (again, everything seems like I am waiting for them to be back at school, but spas and gyms are no good with kids grin)

I need to plan I think, otherwise I end up sitting here all day on MN and before I know it its 4pm and Ive done nothing.

Thank you all so much for suggestions. I think just voicing that I feel like this helps, as everyone expects you to be blooming and happy when really I feel shit!

ErikaMaye Tue 25-Aug-09 13:06:15

I've got 12 weeks to go - am on countdown (83 days till my EDD wink).

But I've also been physically disabled for about two years now, and know how frustrating it is to be stuck inside if you're not used to it. I learnt how to crochet, and its really good for doing something productive but not too tiring or too much hard work! Patchwork is good too.

Or how about getting a scrap book ready for when baby arrives? You could decorate the courners.

Aqua aerobics is fab, too.

I can sympathise on the sex front I really miss the intamacy with my DP - I can't even cuddle with him really as am so large and uncomfortable. UGH. He's concerned about hurting me or the baby - plus he's just gone on ADs, so its not his fault that he has no sex drive, but still. I miss it

Keep smiling

katster37 Tue 25-Aug-09 13:09:11

Mosschops I could have written your first post!! I am only 28 weeks, and the thought that I could be pg for possibly 14 more weeks if I am late (first baby) is inconceivable!!! I used to be a size 8, now feel like a size a million, my face is puffy, I miss sex desperately, miss guzzling wine with DH and miss not being a grumpy cow! Plus I am terrified of what will come with having a baby - will I ever get 'old' life back? Am meant to be working til I am 38 or 39 weeks (am a teacher) so also have end-of-summer-hols blues. Boo.
Maybe we can sulk together?! I am finding setting myself a couple of 'boring' things to get through at the minute helps me not to feel totally shit, and then planning nice evenings with DH. Although these are really not what 'nice evenings' used to entail! Last night we had a nice dinner and a long walk after. Have you done pregnancy yoga? I have just started, and although not a work-out, it did make me feel more energised and in slightly less of a foul mood!
Anyway, hope you feel a bit better soon. It can't go on forever.... (at least that's what I've been told).
PS also have postural hypotension - my first ever yoga class involved me dramatically fainting!! seems to be a bit better now though.

Poledra Tue 25-Aug-09 13:11:49

How about swimming, mosschops? I loooved the pool when I was heavily pg.

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 13:25:40

Yes am deffo going to do swimming, love feeling weightless for once, again though waiting until dc's return to school.

katster we must be due similar dates, I am only actually 29 weeks but saying I have 10 weeks left is better for me than 11 grin. You will get your old life back, I felt like that a lot in last pg, was I ever going to look normal again, was my fanjo going to be the size of the Tyne Tunnel etc etc, but everything soon got back to normal smile Well done you for working so long, I just couldnt carry on, despite needing the money, decided best for me and baby to be at home relaxing. I just didnt realise how demeaning it would feel. I feel like dh expects me to wait on him when he gets home because he's worked all day, although he hasnt said so. He went to bed last night at 8.30 sad and I stayed up on my own. I really do find it depressing that even if I stripped off and offered him sex, he'd really rather not sad

Wonder where I could find out about yoga for fatties in local area wink will have a look on t'internet.

BellaCullen Tue 25-Aug-09 13:32:23

Mosschops feel the same as you have 6 weeks left,hoping for 4/1/2 if early.Can`t wait to get my body back and going to gym as was just starting to lose weight when I got pregnant.And am desperate for sex thought it was just my DP who won`t have sex.He says all he think of is baby coming out so won`t come anywhere near there.
Definetily do some swimming and go see personal trainer to check what you can do.Got a pregnancy fitness and yoga dvd but am just constanly tired.
Still feel nauseous so can`t wait to be able to eat anything I want instead of just what doesn`t make me feel sick.
It be easier when your dcs go back to school you can then get back in a routine.
Hope you feel better soon.Got check-up today baby better still be head down.

katster37 Tue 25-Aug-09 14:53:23

Mosschops I feel like I need to have the house immaculate/nice meals ready for DH too.... In that respect I am looking forward to going to work for a few weeks - although that is the only respect grin I am not sure I will manage working for that long, tbh.

Have you looked at www.sitaram.org? that is where I found my pregnancy yoga class, although I am sure if you google 'pregnancy yoga' and your home town you will get tons of stuff.

I am due 21 November... Terrifies me that baby could actually not be here until December!!!! That's practically Christmas!!!!

Also v reassuring to hear you do return to normal pretty soon after smile

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Tue 25-Aug-09 14:58:25

[hugs] I know how you feel. I feel pretty shitty this pg. but I promise, once baby is out, you will feel SOOOOOO much better, even with disrupted sleep. Your size 8 figure will return in no time, and your pg ailments will disappear v quickly, some almost straight away.

I keep reminding myself of this as I struggle through my 2nd pg.

kathyis6incheshigh Tue 25-Aug-09 15:05:37

Oh Mosschops, I know just how you feel! Am 33 weeks.

I have never cared about the figure thing before but I keep looking at thin people and people in nice summer dresses and feeling envy.

I want to go to the pub and drink several pints.

I want to be able to carry heavy things and go for long walks in the country.

I've just 2 minutes ago been sick and I think I have SPD as well now. FFS!

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 15:21:27

Oh this thread has been marvellous smile Im so glad to not be alone in this horrible feeling.

I have been quite good this afternoon, have sorted out some photos and put them in albums (need about 2 more albums now and Im done). Have also emailed 3 different yoga places about their pregnancy yoga classes smile, actually feel like I might enjoy a bit of my mat leave before baby comes. (It was actually nice looking at holiday photos of me in bikinis after each pregnancy and thinking it WILL all go back grin)

Oh bella am very envy of you only having 6 weeks left. I do hope your baby stays in right place. Our dh's sound just the same.

katster i am just 10 days ahead of you, but if this baby is not here on the day Im off for an induction, went 15 days over with ds but never again.

This is going to be my support thread grin and kathy I will join you for those several pints very soon!! Poor you getting SPD, I had it last time, although not so bad this time (the piles have made up for it though <bleurgh>)

MrsHappy Tue 25-Aug-09 16:11:40

Oh god, me too.

I felt fine during most of this pregnancy, but in the last couple of weeks all has changed. I feel sick all of the time, belch like a loon and today my guts have started acting up too, so this morning I sat in a meeting not sure if I would puke on the table or fart. (Fortunately managed to contain it all).

My nose is stuffy as anything and my legs ache. When the baby moves it hurts - and I am only coming up to 32 weeks.

I'm thrilled to be pregnant, but goodness me, I don't remember this bit from the first time round. And this baby will probably be late so I bet I have at least 9 weeks to go. Arg!

The most shocking thing has been a 2 inch long hair that has grown out of my chest. Fortunately it is blonde and very fine so noone will notice it but dear God, what is that about?? shock

Thanks for providing space for my rant! Am clinging to the idea that when this is over (and assuming I get my VBAC) I will be back to normal very quickly...

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 16:19:42

MrsHappy - pluck it grin

MrsHappy Tue 25-Aug-09 16:22:30

But I am frightened that if I do it will grow through all dark and I will be stuck plucking the fecker for the rest of my life!

mosschops30 Tue 25-Aug-09 16:24:29

or it could be a secret doorway to another world hmm grin (god how bored am I lol).

Im sure its just one of those weird pregnancy things that we get, and that when you get your VBAC your chest hair will return to normal grin

katster37 Tue 25-Aug-09 18:03:43

Ha mosschops at induction - I asked MW the other day how long they would leave it before they induce you here, and she looked sincere, and said 'you can always refuse to be induced, you know'. I was thinking, 'can i go for an induction at 40+1, please?'

MrsHappy I think my tummy is hairy.... it is gross. In fact, all of me is pretty gross at the min!!

I'll join you for the few pints ladies, as long as it is pints of wine!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now