Don't apologise for worrying dizzy, I probably end up looking things up on the internet to appease my worried mind on a daily basis...neurotic me?
I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time, I hope things get easier for you soon. Go and enjoy a creme caramel as soon as you can get your hands on one and give yourself a pat on the back for being so conscientious.
It's fine, dizzy - I went through a making pudding stages when I was a teenager (not much to do in rural Northumberland back then!) - and Creme caramel was one of my dad's favourites. The custard's baked milk or cream, and as well as being cooked is generally pasturised - so I'd have lots.