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'Finding out' I'm pregnant at 17 weeks

(11 Posts)
potatoes Thu 20-Aug-09 20:05:36

I've just returned to work from maternity leave and am pregnant again (hurray!). I'm working in a new office as we moved house for DH's job while I was off. It was a total nightmare to get a transfer and I didn't dare admit to being pregnant until everything was finalised in case some reason to not transfer me was dreamed up by my old-fashioned male-chauvinist bosses. As I'm now 17 weeks and fed up of holding my stomach in all day I'm going to have to come clean soon...

Basically i'm thinking of telling work I've just found out I'm pregnant, then a few days later 'finding out' I'm 17 weeks. But I need some info so try and sound a bit realistic!
How would your midwife find out how far gone you were if you didn't have a clue?
What tests etc would you have?

Or should I just tell them I'm 17 weeks and have known all along and I'm perfectly entitled to be pregnant - bearing in mind I've still got to work there and would like to go back in some capacity after DC2 is born?
Any advice gratefully received!

boyraiser Thu 20-Aug-09 20:10:21

I'd just tell them I was pregnant. I wouldn't offer any further explanation, i.e. of when I 'discovered' this. It is none of their business. There are various reasons why someone might not want to disclose a pregnancy until it is well established. You are legally entitled to return to your job after maternity leave, and subsequently become pregnant again.

MrsHappy Thu 20-Aug-09 20:17:03

Why would you tell them how long you have known? It is none of their business.
If anyone asks why you didn't mention it earlier, just say "I didn't think it was relevant" or say that you would never announce a pregnancy until it was far enough along.
Certainly don't lie - you have done nothing wrong.

bigstripeytiger Thu 20-Aug-09 20:20:46

I would just say I was pregnant. I dont think you need to lie about it. There could have been any number of complications that could have led to you not wanting to tell people sooner, and if someone told me that they were pregnant for the first time at 17 weeks that is the sort of thing I would think of, not that they should have told me sooner in case I wanted to discriminate against them.

allaboutme Thu 20-Aug-09 20:23:44

Just tell them you are pregnant.
If they ask anything they'll ask when you are due, so just tell them that.
Honestly, they wont be thinking hmmm that makes her 17 weeks and normlly people tell at 12 weeks ...
if anyone does mention that you are further along than they thought, just say 'oh yes, i dont like to say anythin until i've had the scans and know all is ok'

MrsJamin Thu 20-Aug-09 20:25:48

they won't believe you if you say you only just found out, I just don't think you could pull it off convincingly.

allaboutme Thu 20-Aug-09 20:29:12

yes agree with mrasjamin.
it will be such a novelty as well that more people will become interested and want even more details!
you'll get people saying 'oooh, was it unplanned then? did your periods not stop? did you not get morning sickness?' just because people will be genuinly curious as to why you never realised.
just tell the truth and dont offer any more information than you need to smile

Joeymac Thu 20-Aug-09 21:12:35

I told them at 16 weeks with DS 1 and 20 weeks with DS2. A bit similar to you, promotions were coming up that I wanted to apply for and I belived I would be passed over if I had told them - there's already that expectation that you'll have another one soon after your first I think which is bad enough to deal with. With DS2, no one was annoyed -my manager was a bit surprised as she'd announced the week before that she was 14 weeks but I sat my director down an told him my reasons for keeping it secret so long and he said he understood. No subsequent issues before leaving or going back at all.

Anyway, you don't have to tell them until you're 25 weeks (and I know someone who did - she was one of those very skinny types who barely showed). 17 weeks is giving them ample time to sort out a replacement.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant again and going through a similar thing where I've been told I could get promoted in an impending restructure. As the restructre seems to be taking ages to be rolled out, I'm keeping my mouth firmly shut until as late as my trousers will hold out!!!

PS I think if you tell them you've only just found out they may think you're a bit of an idiot esp. as you've been preggers before.

TakeLovingChances Fri 21-Aug-09 08:50:58

Congrats on the pregnancy

As for the thread, I agree with what all the women have said so far.

I think the less fuss you make about telling people in work, the less suspicious it'll look.

17 weeks is a fine time to tell your boss: not too early, not too late for them to cover your workload.

potatoes Fri 21-Aug-09 19:47:00

Thanks for all your replies, i'm going to bite the bullet and tell my boss on Monday.

Just conscious of some of the comments that were made behind my back last time i was pregnant...along the lines of "women who want babies shouldn't expect to be managers" etc... shock

slalomsuki Fri 21-Aug-09 19:56:33

I told mine at 23 weeks, 21 weeks and 15 weeks respectively. No one noticed and no one bothered to ask when I told them

Congratulations and have fun

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