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StealthPolarBear Mon 10-Aug-09 16:33:53

Sorry to hear about the difficulties with your ex but you are bringing a baby into the world whose mum wants it very much - so that's already more than enough. Also if you were to have a termination it would be you that would have to go through it physically and emotionally (and I think physically it would be significant at 10 weeks +) - does he fully understand what he's asking you to do?

TakeLovingChances Mon 10-Aug-09 18:00:53


Welcome to the funny world of mumsnet!

I am pg with 1st and due 5 March Similar time to you.

There's a thread in the 'ante-natal' section (do a search in the topics if you can't find it), the thread is for all the ladies due in March 2010. We share experiences, talk about how we feel etc. It is a great support.

I live in Northern Ireland, but in the March 2010 ante-natal thread there are women from all over UK, I'm sure one of them must be from your part of England.


ReneRusso Mon 10-Aug-09 18:27:02

Congratulations and welcome.
Sorry you are having a difficult start to your pregnancy. Why should you feel guilty? It's not as if you tricked him into having a baby. Accidents happen and it is ridiculous for him to think you have ruined his life. It might be easier to try and distance yourself a bit from this man if he is making you feel so bad. You are not being selfish, he is for pressing you to have a termination. Good luck with your scan and the rest of your pregnancy.

RubyLove1 Tue 11-Aug-09 16:20:14

Hey itwascertainlyasurprise

Your dates are almost exactly the same as mine (or what I thought they were until I was told by MW I may be due on 28th Feb) My scan in on Friday 21st too! So will find out for sure then hopefully.

I am also in Birmingham, but not south. More Newtown/Hockley sides if you know where I mean.

I am not in the same situation as yourself but my best friend was in a similar position with her ex. I'll try and keep it short:

They were having a long distance relationship, they split up, soon after she found out she was pg. He was all "get rid, get rid, get rid!" and she said no. Even though she wasnt planning a baby (she was 22 at the time) she knew she wasnt gonna have an abortion just because he wanted to.

Anyway I thought he was a prick for pleading with her to have a termination, but Im so glad (and so is she) that she ignored him and had my beautiful god-daughter 15 months ago and now he's the doting Dad!! Even moved 200 miles to live in the same city to be closer to her and they have a bond. They are still not togetherthough.

Stay true to yourself and forget what he thinks or what anyone thinks for now. The baby is already there so he'll have to deal with it, like you are. How he deals with it is another matter but he should not be offloading his crap onto you.

Your first pregnancy is full of anxiety as it is and the last thing you need is someone else worrying about their life!! It sounds like you have a good heart if your feeling guilty even though you have absolutely bugger all to be guilty for, you never got pregnant on your own after all.

Also no you are absolutely NOT being selfish. On the contrarty I think you need to be a little bit selfish for yourself and the little bean growing inside of you if he isnt going to be supportive.

Anyway hope your pregnancy is being kind to you (I am sick beyond belief!!) and dont get too stressed. Let us know how the scan goes and I'll do the same...Take Care RL1

slushy06 Tue 11-Aug-09 16:33:48

Hi I have just had my baby but I was born under similar circumstances to yours sadly my dad never came round hopefully your ex will.

But it is his loss and I never needed more than the love my mum gave me, I hope this reassures you that whether your ex steps up or not you will still be blessed with a very happy beautiful child.

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