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Pregnancy

did anyone else go to their scans alone?

38 replies

bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 18:46

I am expecting dc3 and went to my 12 week alone and im going to my 20week alone , dh is working so couldnt come even if he wanted to .I dont mind going alone tbh ,im actually lucky in both times im at work anyway ,so i can fit it into my day .Only asking as a friend seemed really shocked that DH wouldnt be going

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thirdname · 30/07/2009 18:50

I think dh went with dc1 only, with dc3 it wasn't so interesting anymore

bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 18:53

Do you know i dont think he went to any of the others either ,hopeless memory at the mo!

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frimblypoo · 30/07/2009 18:53

I did DC2. DH couldn't get off work. Felt a bit odd but really not a biggie.

belgo · 30/07/2009 18:54

Dh only came to one of my scans when I was pregnant with dc3.

Dragonesque · 30/07/2009 18:54

It's a little bit different but I went for an amnio by myself, as DH was having a breakdown.

Hope it goes ok and you get a lovely pic of your baby!

onlyanauntie · 30/07/2009 18:55

Funny you should mention this - I was just about to start a thread.
Got my 12 week scan appointment in the post today (actually 13 weeks which I am disappointed about as I'm still worrying every single day and was hoping it would be sooner rather than later) - it is on the day that my partner gets back from his holiday (we are having a few days away seperately with friends as it's probably our last chance for a while!) so he cannot attend with me. I'm pretty gutted, it's our first baby - do you think I could phone up and re-arrange, or would they think me an awkward-arse? I don't really want to go it alone, incase there's any bad news, and I'm not close enough to my mum to take her with me. What should I do?

Bumpsoon - Did your dh go with you to your first/second dc's scan? If you feel comfortable enough going alone, then why not indeed.

steaknife · 30/07/2009 18:56

DH couldn't come to the 12 week scan but came to the others. Wish he had been able to but that's just how it went.

IdrisTheDragon · 30/07/2009 18:57

I went to 12 week scan with DD on my own. Wasn't totally happy with being pregnant anyway and it seemed silly for DH to have to miss work to see me not being thrilled. I was at work so DS wasn't there - if he'd have to have been there then I would have got DH to come I think.

cat64 · 30/07/2009 18:57

This reply has been deleted

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hf128219 · 30/07/2009 18:57

I went to 12 and 20 week alone as dh was basking himself in Afghanistan!

dal21 · 30/07/2009 18:58

DH came to both scans with DS. In this pregnancy, came with me to the 12 week scan, will also come to the 20 week scan.

I really would not like to go to either scan alone, because they both are quite big deals IMO. I think there is on one side the fear that you may hear some bad news - so you want their support. On the other side, seeing your bub is a lovely experience - I would hate for DH to miss it. And over a 40 week pregnancy - it is only 2 appointments they need to attend. I tend to side with your friend.

Am curious though - does your DH company not allow paid time off for fathers to go to scans? I thought that was standard for most companies.

cupofteaplease · 30/07/2009 19:01

dh didn't come to my scans with my last pregnancy. Was tough though, because the second scan showed the baby had died and I then had to drive myself home in floods of tears- not great.

legalalien · 30/07/2009 19:06

like dragonesque, I had the amnio on my own. I would not recommend it, in case anyone is considering it. thank god for the nursing assistant who asked for half an hour off and sat with me in the waiting room afterward giving me sugary cups of tea.

bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 19:07

He has got a meeting on my scan date ,which he would love to get out of ,but in the present climate i dont think he'd dare say anything ,not that he'd want to come to the scan though ,would rather spend the time catching up on work !! TBH if i could choose someone to come with me it would probably be my best friend, but she is mega busy with work too ! I really dont mind dh not being there though ,its not like you can see an awful lot and lets be honest they look completely different when they eventually come out

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bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 19:08

cupoftea ,thats awful ,so sorry to hear that

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Weegle · 30/07/2009 19:09

I'm interested in this thread at I'm currently pregnant with id twins and need to be scanned fortnightly - there's no way DH can take time off work for every one (the hospital is 1.5 hrs from his work too so literally a whole day off realistically). I'm quite worried incase there is bad news at any of these scans - did anyone have not great news when they were there on their own? I really am quite concerned about it, and having to make decisions, and driving home etc.

Weegle · 30/07/2009 19:11

sorry - just saw cupofteas post - I'm really sorry about that. . That's what worries me but don't know how to get round it - I can't even really ask a friend to come fortnightly.

dal21 · 30/07/2009 19:16

Cupoftea - so sorry!

Weegle - with scans that frequency, I think it would be difficult for anyone to make all of them. The 12 week and the 20 week are the major ones where the key checks are done. Scans outside of that will be to check growth, blood flows etc.
I was scanned at 33 weeks with DS and there were some slight concerns that his growth was starting to tail off slightly. Everything else looked fine, so wasnt a huge concern and certainly not bad news. But DH came to the scan 2 weeks later. So we were told that something needed to be monitored and were given the chance to have DH there on the next one.

And yes, unfortunately my SIL went to her 12 week scan alone and was told the bub had died. Very sad.

Weegle · 30/07/2009 19:36

dal21 - thank you. The next one (next week) is 16 weeks, then 18 etc so do you think I should get DH to come to the 20 week one? I guess I've gotten so worried about this twin to twin transfusion thingy I've been made to believe it IS without doubt going to happen it's just a case of when and I'm really worried

expatinscotland · 30/07/2009 19:39

yes. i went to all mine alone for all three of them. DH either had to work (with no. 1) or stay with the other children.

i even had to give birth to DC3 on my own.

Like cupoftea, I went to a scan that showed my baby had died on my own, too.

Sometimes, life is like that for some.

bumpsoon · 30/07/2009 19:45

sorry to hear that expat .

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expatinscotland · 30/07/2009 19:49

it happens, bump .

but often enough, it's because there are other children who need looked after or someone has to go to work.

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expatinscotland · 30/07/2009 19:49

it happens, bump .

but often enough, it's because there are other children who need looked after or someone has to go to work.

lazylion · 30/07/2009 19:57

I'm going for a scan on my own tomorrow but I wouldn't do it alone if I didn't have to.
In my last pregnancy I was told there was something wrong with the baby at a 30ish week scan when I was alone. I wandered out of the hospital and nearly got run over I was in such a state.

carrielou2007 · 30/07/2009 20:04

I've been alone at my scans and when having oscar. I made dd's dad come to 20 week scan and he tried to look a bit interested. Then at 38 wks as dd was transverse he came for scans and when in labour with her he came every day and stayed all day (went in tue she arrived on fri)

This time only dd has been with me and I will give birth alone as dd dad will have to look after her (unsuprsingly as we are no longer together!!)

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