just saw midwife and feel really low

[99redballoons]

Hi all, I'm 17+3 wks (2nd pg) at the moment and I've just seen my community midwife for the first time today. She managed to find baby's heartbeat but had to put the doppler really down low by my bone. She felt around and said I was 'presenting a little small for 17wks'. She said she has seen this before and they catch up later on, but I'm all worried now. I haven't been as hungry this pg as the 1st, I'm more active and carry my 2stone 23mo alot more than I should do, and haven't been eating as well due to lack of time. I can feel baby fluttering inside me, which must be a good sign. M/w said to book appt with my gp the day after my 21wk scan incase I need to talk it through with them (she will be on holiday). That was when I started to worry..

What can I do to help baby? Will eating more mean it will grow more or just put the pounds on me? (I'm not actively trying to avoid food, just not getting more than 3 fruit/veg a day, plus LOTs of carbs this time round).

Has anyone else presented small almost halfway and the baby's caught up?

Please help me feel better about things!

[Tissy]

99rb, I haven't been in exactly your position, but I ate virtually nothing during my pregnancy due to severe morning sickness, followed by severe heartburn.I ended up lighter at term than I was when I conceived, and I was thin to start with! My dd was a healthy 6lb 6oz at 38 weeks. I was told that the baby will take what it needs from your body, and that the amount I ate made very little, if any difference to the baby's size.

[tortoiseshell]

I wouldn't worry about not eating enough as far as the baby is concerned - but I would as far as you're concerned - I believe the baby is like a parasite and takes what it wants, even if it leaves you a bit undernourished.

Both my babies were described as 'tiny' by the mw throughout. Given that ds was 9lb12oz I queried the mw when she said dd was tiny, and her comment was that this one was definitely a small one. She was over 10lbs. I think it can be difficult to tell is what I'm getting at!

Hope you're reassured at your 21 week scan.

[triceratops]

Please try not to worry too much, maybe your dates are out by a week or so? I know it is going to be ages until your scan, perhaps you could get an earlier scan to set your mind at rest?

[tab]

Hi 99redballoons. Midwives dont realise how much they can make us feel cheery or low, do they?
I would try to focus on the fact that the midwife found the heartbeat which was presumably fine, presumably any other tests you/ve had are fine and you've been more active this time round. I have a heavy 2 year old too and its very difficult to stop picking them up and much harder to relax second time around. Also are you working?
You know what those centiles are like - there are huge variants. I would just carry on as you're doing - Im sure the baby will catch up as the midwife says and it sounds like she didnt really think very hard the way she worded it.
I seem to have the opposite problem - midwife keeps saying baby is bigger than last time and has a big head!! At least if yours is a little small he/she might be an easy delivery!! Hope you feel a bit happier. You've done it once so you have an advantage there. The only thing I can think of is maybe to try and rest more (if possible). If you have a partner maybe try getting him to pick up ds1 more. I have had to do that towards the end and actually ds1 and dh have bonded a lot more which has been really sweet. If its any help, once I stopped work and relied on Dh a lot more, the baby has really grown loads.
Sorry this is turning into an essay. I will stop! Have some chocolate too - its meant to be good for the baby ( I read it, honest!)
,

[MarsLady]

Mine were always complaining that mine were too big. They were convinced that I didn't know my dates for every pregnancy, but I did! I carried big, not a lot of water, just big. My babies were an average size, even the twins were reasonably little. I carried the same way and size for all of them. My fundal height was way ahead of my pregnancy.

Fret not my darling, the baby will grow and be fine! There are many women who carry like you.

[99redballoons]

Hi all, thanks for replying so quickly.

I did have a 'dating scan' at 15wks (later than normal) and the only measurement she took was of the head which put my edd at 28/10/05, whereas the books say 1/11/05. So as the head measurement put me a few days before the 1st Nov I thought this meant avg-bigger baby iyswim, otherwise wouldn't the date have come back later cos the head was smaller and suggested a longer time in the womb?

Or am I just reading into all this too much!!??!?!

I guess you're right, just have to sit back, try and eat more fruit (I really should), and wait for the 21wk scan. What will be will be. Guess I'm just getting worked up cos my sil's sister had to terminate a baby at 23wks cos it was half the size it was supposed to be at that stage, poor thing.

[Toothache]

99redballoons - My friend has just had exactly the same thing!

She had a scan which showed she was 16+5wks, then another 3 weeks later that showed her as 18+5wks. So the baby had only grown 2wks worth in 3 wks. According to her she should've been around 19-20wks. She was taken back in 3 wks later to check the growth and baby measured 23wks!

So, yes, the baby surely caught up. I'm sure if the heartbeat is strong and the baby is moving then everything will be fine. I suppose they have growth spurts too and perhaps she examined you just before a wee growth spurt.

[99redballoons]

Thanks again for the replies that have come in whilst I was typing!

Forgot to say my ds was 8lb14 so a little on the big size too, but most of that weight gain was in the last 3 wks (when my stretch marks finally made their appearance!!!!). I guess I can't really remember what it was like at 17wks. I know I was working behind a desk then and eating hot meals every lunchtime. This time I'm not working and eating less healthily! Time to dig out that smoothies book and stop buying biscuits!

You've made me feel alot better, thanks

[Toothache]

Also 99redballoons, my friend didn't have a 1st scan until later too. And after 12wks the scans can easily be at least 1 week out either way. So moving your due date by a few days is significant to you, but not to the Doctors IYSWIM.

[99redballoons]

fingers crossed, toothache, that's exactly what's going on! thanks petal.

[merglemergle]

Just skimming as have to wake baby up but yes, have had similar both times. Ds was "a little small" at 20 wks (not actually "small for dates, but close), same this time round. When Ds was born he was 8 4 1/2-NOT small!. This one (due in 6 wks) does not seem small either.

Is there any possibility that your dates are a bit wrong? Eg did you have a late ultrasound, or was your cycle irregular? Cos it could just be that the baby is younger that they think.

Are you quite small yourself? When I was worried, the mw pointed out that neither me nor dp were especially large, and were both on the thin side (very kind of her, and not at all true now ). So the baby probably didn't have "big" genes. Of course he proved this wrong by being huge but anyway.

Maybe give yourself a bit of extra care and attention if you can, but I wouldn't worry. Try to get a good diet but you'll suffer first, not the baby, if your diet is crap.

[99redballoons]

Hi merglemergle, yes, very sure of conception dates, but men cycle was 30d, so a little longer than avg. This baby was very planned iykwim! Still too knackered to think how we managed it

[99redballoons]

yes, baby needs much more tlc than I'm giving it at the mo.. you forget with a toddler running round.. must be more careful.

[Cooperoo]

Try not to worry. I can sympathise with being pregnant with a toddler. I am due in three weeks and this bump had been severely neglected compared with last time. I too did not eat well in the early stages as I felt like I had a hangover all the time and so just wanted bacon sandwiches and chips....Also you spend so much time chasing and worrying about your first born I had some days where I forgot I was pregnant until 11 am. There have been no special conversations with the bump, no music played to it etc it has just happened....People don't make the same fuss and you don't get the same sort of help and rest either. You will be fine I am sure. 3 portions of fruit/veg is good anyway. Some people don't manage that. Give yourself a break and try not to panic. Measuring babies is notoriously inaccurate using a scanner so must be difficult by feel alone too. I am surprised they only took one measurement at your first scan too. I believe they should at least do the femur and head. The measurements they are dealing with are so small and precise too that they only need to be a tiny bit out for it to read differently and change the centile etc.
Try and relax. It is amazing what a big impact a little coment can make. If they were really worried they would have you in for another scan right away.
I also agree that babies take everything they need so that it is you who will suffer if you are not eating well etc. I drank extra milk and took vitamins in the early stages when I knew I was not eating well. HTH and good luck.

[99redballoons]

Hi cooperoo, yes, that sounds just about right! I have just talked to my mum and she said, "do you think I treated you and your sister well once I'd had your brother (he was first)" and I said most probably not, and she said, yes, and you were fine

And, yes, I should believe you when you say the scans can be misleading cos they just have to get the start point in the wrong place and it will be out. I even think I told my bf this when she was pg and worried about her scan readings! Dh has just said they put me ahead of what I was for the 15wk scan and if you went by the books I would be 17wks tomorrow, so if I had only been 16wks the mw may have said nothing!

Yes, feeling much better, much better. Think I better start this extra tlc whilst ds is sleeping and go and sit on the couch rather than at the pc! Talk to you later girls.

[99redballoons]

PS. Good luck cooperoo! It must feel like the days are dragging now...

[Cooperoo]

Oh yes. I am happy to wait until the end of this week as DH is on a course that he has been meaning to do for ages but then I will be saying 'bring it on'. I am bound to go over now!

[mears]

99 redballoons - I would phone the community midwife and discuss your concerns. She needs to know how worried you feel now, which would not have been her intention. Tab is quite right - sometimes midwives do not seem to realise the impact of their comments.

Your little baby will grow despite what you are eating TBH. No need to go overboard on the food side. Just make sure you are eating enough to maintain your health and strength to look after a toddler. Also try and get your feet up now and again. Rushing around all the time isn't good for anyone, pregnant or not.

Scans are not the be all and end all. Go with your own date if you are sure of your last period. Try and enjoy your pregnancy - it will be over before you know it

[99redballoons]

Hi mears, thanks for your comments. Yes, I think I ate too much first time round, and even though I'm not skimping on food at all, I'm only eating when I feel hungry. Have just scoffed a whole bowl of strawberries and feel much better!

Have been resting for the last hour and have felt baby kick lots of times I'm sure little one is fine. I have been thinking over what the mw said and she said she's seen this lots and they catch up. Like someone said she would have requested a scan or something if there was much concern. I'm hoping it'll turn out like toothache's friend. I know bump is growing and I know bump is moving so I'm going to relax.. till the scan!

merglemergle, forgot to say good luck to you too

[AnotherHelen]

Hiya 99rb! I more than understand your concerns - i was told with my first that he was very small for dates and i always measured small, at my 20 week scan they wanted to do further tests to see if the dates where wrong or if there was something seriously wrong and because it was my first pregnancy i didnt have any thing to compare it with iyswim? although the only thing i had to keep me going was that my sister had 2 children and her first weighed 5lb 7oz and her second was 6lb 15oz so i was hoping it was just genetic my friend also asked if i had had my baby early or 'something' as i was nearly 8 months pregnant and still in my size 10 clothes (just!) - but to even my huge amazment he was born on his due date and weighed a very healthy 9lb 14oz!!!! i have no idea where i hid him! please try not to worry (hard not to i know!) im so sure all will be fine! xxx

[99redballoons]

Thx anotherhelen... and I thought my 8lb14 ds was big

[99redballoons]

For those who might have been told a similar thing to me I found this webpage very reassuring!

Getting lots of kicks now, so have finally relaxed and looking forward to my scan in a couple of weeks

[Toothache]

Great news 99rb!