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Does anyone else dislike being pregnant as much as I do?

(28 Posts)
Bluemary3000 Tue 14-Jul-09 15:56:53

I am 30 wks pregnany with my second and really really dislike being pregnant.

I am quite down at the moment and think I may be suffering from pre-natal depression if there is such a thing.

Is there anyone else that feels or felt this way as I seem to be the only one out of all the people I know.

I am desperate to have the baby, not only so that I can start enjoying the baby, but also becuase I will have my body back again.

Let me know if anyone else has experienced the same.


mosschops30 Tue 14-Jul-09 16:01:47

Yes I do, this is my 3rd (and last) pregnancy.
I depise not being able to shop for nice clothes, or feel sexy, or walk properly!
I just dont enjoy being pregnant, I have never bloomed and this time round I have felt rotten pretty much since about 7 weeks (am now 23 weeks and off sick again due to extreme fatigue and low iron levels).

You are not alone, and I suspect many women feel like this, then we feel guilty for not looking/feeling like the beautiful pg women in magazines

Pah, lucky for you will be over before me grin
I cant wait for my baby to come, and am so excited about meeting him, but doesnt mean I have to enjoy him wriggling round in me, stepping on my bladder and sucking my iron levels dry grin

archiepuss Tue 14-Jul-09 16:20:17

I had to post as I feel exactly the same. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and seem to be staggering from one preg-related health problem to another. I think I get very down when I am pregnant and I feel ashamed and isolated about it. It's hard to say that you feel like this, that you don't feel blissful and lucky and all the rest of it. I feel tired and overwhelmed and unable to concentrate, I've got backpain, front pain and can't sleep.
I hd a difficult pregnancy last time too and though I was tired and emotional after the birth I felt SO much better. I felt like I was back to normal as soon as the baby was out and it was such a relief!

Bluemary3000 Tue 14-Jul-09 16:23:51

I am pleased to hear that it isn't just me, although I am trying not to cry as I read the messages. Today is a bad day and after a row with the other half last night, I feel like a complete cow as realistically none of this is his fault and no matter how much sympathy and treats he gives me to try and cheer me up, its never enough.

As it is my second I am not due to see my midwife until I am 34wks, so I will see how it goes.

Cheers for the messages and hope it goes well for the both of you and roll on the birth and normality with a massive bottle of wine!!

Bluemary3000 Tue 14-Jul-09 16:28:37

Forgot to mention, that this will be my last pregnancy as my other half is being sent to the GP to have himself seen to.
We have discussed that if he gets me pregnant again, I will divorce him, take all of his money and preform the op myself whilst he is sleeping.
I am only joking, but it seems to have got the message through to him!!

mumof3tobe Tue 14-Jul-09 23:23:13

I too don't like being pregnant, seeing all the nice clothes, having a few drinks most weekends and off to waterparks and camping.
We moved to Canada last june so don't have my big family support anymore.
BTW this is pregnancy number 3 and the last.
I had very bad nausea for the first 4 months and now my SPD is back and with a DS 5.4yrs and DD 3.6yrs to look after is getting me down.
DH not very supportive emotional wise - sometimes I think he's in a world of his own - you have to bluntly tell him what is going on before he notices and then it's not usually the right words of support.
He doesn't talk very much, most of his family like that and i'm in the house all day with the kids and feel very isolated. I have been forcing myself out to meet more people so will keep doing that.
Also DH has gone off sex (was the same with the other two) and not very affectionate either so feels like we are housemates at the moment. That will change as soon as baby is out.
I am now almost 34 weeks and I to wish that this baby would come out early so I can get back to normal.
I am hoping for a homebirth but would be willing to have it in the hospital if I can get some rest and my body back!!

Longtalljosie Wed 15-Jul-09 06:55:38

I enjoyed the second trimester but the third has been miserable.

But I feel so guilty even typing this, as there are people who'd give their eye teeth to be in my position. I hated TTC, every month we didn't manage it was like a kick in the face - but even so... God, I'm tired. And my back is killing me. And I can't think properly at work. And all I do - literally, all I do - is work, cook and sleep.

babyball Wed 15-Jul-09 10:16:19

I have felt awful throughout my pregnancy. Grumpy, antisocial, 5 months of morning sickness, and now feeling heavy and tired (35 wks). You're definitely not the only one. Some women seem to love it and tell me that on a regular basis. I have to bite my tongue and stop myself saying "magical experience my arse"! You shouldn't feel guilty. 10 months (yes 10!) of no drinking or being able to eat soft cheese, 10 months of feeling batsh#t mental (in my case).Yes, we are really lucky to have conceived but pregnancy is a long hard slog and you are definitely allowed to whinge a little IMHO. I certainly have(!) smile

PS: Bluemary3000 - depression during pregnancy is common. You should def see the doc about it as they may be able to help if you're really struggling. I hope you feel better soon.

PracticalCat Wed 15-Jul-09 14:36:46

I'm still in the early weeks with my second and am exhausted and sick. I get unproductive, grumpy, rude, miserable and I hate being touched. My hips already feel melty and I'm struggling to sleep at night. I'm dreading getting more and more uncomfortable as I get bigger. But wouldn't change it for anything, of course. And now I'm nervous that typing this will somehow jinx things.

In my last pregnancy there was a book I ordered online called Pregnancy Sucks. The author hated being pregnant too and has a good sense of humour and turned the niggles into something hilarious. I think you can preview it on Google Books - it helped me to laugh at myself a bit.

lynneevans51 Wed 15-Jul-09 14:43:48

Wow - this is a great thread - for us all to realise that we are not the only ones absolutely hating this phase of our lives and feeling brave enough to say/write so! I am 15 weeks pg with my 3rd (and definitely my last)! Have felt absolutely wretched since about 6 weeks and putting it down to advanced age this time (40). I have rather oddly been feeling the baby's movements since 12 weeks which whilst quite lovely at first - now just makes me feel sick. I just want the end to be here so that we can get on with life again... Many hugs to all who feel the same - you brave brave creatures!

Weegle Wed 15-Jul-09 14:52:11

Another one here...

I'm on my second pregnancy - this time with twins. I feel totally blessed to be having twins but I've got hyperemesis and feel totally crap. I also have arthritis which is mainly in my pelvis so already being aggravated by the pregnancy despite being only 13 weeks. I feel sorry for DS (3.1) who's had a horrible few months and it's only going to get worse. I have to be scanned fortnightly and have physio and pain clinic appointments weekly - so 2 appointments one week, 3 the next etc until DECEMBER and the hospital is 40 minutes from me. I feel totally depressed about it but like no one would understand if I whinged.

I hated pregnancy last time as well - I never bloomed and was in pain the whole time. Having a newborn was a breeze compared to either my morning sickness or my last trimester when I was literally in agony.

So yes - you're certainly not alone! I just don't think many people admit to it!

Gateau Wed 15-Jul-09 15:00:43

Sorry, I love being pregnant. This is my second time and I have loved both of them. I just feel sad that this will probably be my last sad

kathyis6incheshigh Wed 15-Jul-09 15:03:53

Yup, hate it. Hyperemesis here too. But in general I am also not keen on the massiveness and lack of mobility and grunting like an old lady, or on my clothes not fitting.

When ds2 is born in Oct I will be opening the champagne, only partly to celebrate the new baby but mainly to celebrate the fact that my family will be complete and I will never have to be pregnant ever again.

Gateau Wed 15-Jul-09 15:12:28

There again, I have been (touch wood it continues!) very healthy throughout my two pregnancies so have been very lucky.
Can't imagine what it must be like for those who are plagued by sickess and other horrible ailments.

lynneevans51 Wed 15-Jul-09 15:24:39

Ha ha - laughing at kathyis6incheshigh - I have already told my DH that upon giving birth as I will be unable to breast feed (breast reduction op 3 years ago) I shall be the one wetting the babies head and proceeding to get absolutely bladdered every night for at least a week whilst he is left literally holding the baby. After all, it's the least he can do after chickening out of "getting himself done" 6 years ago and putting me through all of this crap for 9 months..... I should say that this is a little tongue in cheek, that I shall not be an absolutely terribe mother.... - but not much!!!!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Wed 15-Jul-09 15:27:58

Me too. I am not liking this at all this time.

Pinkjenny Wed 15-Jul-09 15:32:49

Hear, hear kathyis6incheshigh - I too will be drinking to that!

I am perpetually amazed at how much I have hated being pg second time around. No time to think, no time to contemplate my navel, mind bending nausea, running around after a 2yo.

I could go on but I won't. No one's interested this time!!

YanknCock Wed 15-Jul-09 15:37:36

34 weeks, and also 'staggering' from one pregnancy related problem to the next all the way through! (to steal archiepuss' phrase)

Antenatal depression is pretty common, mine was horrific and I needed to go back on ADs to be able to get off the sofa and leave the house.

In addition:
-Throwing up until 30 weeks (okay for last 4 weeks, touch wood!)
-SPD from 16 weeks
-Tendonitis from 22 weeks
-Swollen feet/ankles that look like tomatoes ready to burst for the last 3 weeks
-the usual drooling, discharge, 'what the hell is happening to my boobs?', acne, hyperpigmentation on my face, weeing constantly (and often while vomiting).....

I have really had enough. Any time baby, any time is fine to pop out....the sooner the better!

EssieW Wed 15-Jul-09 15:43:28

I mostly enjoyed my first pregnancy but am 26 weeks into my 2nd and not particularly enjoying it this time round. The nausea has lasted longer, and I'm constantly knackered. Like others on here, seem to be experiencing one health problem after another (colds, asthma, hayfever - all of which seem to get worse with pregnancy in my case).

babyball Wed 15-Jul-09 16:07:20

One example of smug smiling pg women is the Pregnacare lady. She's perfect for making you feel inadequate. no stretchmarks, smiling like she's on valium etc etc. wink

Longtalljosie Wed 15-Jul-09 16:30:04

Ugh - the Pregnacare lady. I can cope with her now, but loathed her passionately when taking Pregnacare while TTC...

It'll be a prosthesis anyway. Doubt she's really up the duff...

SuziDee Thu 16-Jul-09 15:29:59

Hooray! I am home... took me 2yrs to get DS1 so felt I had to be grateful during that pregnancy.

Got preg again last November had a D & C at 11 weeks after Missed Miscarriage, after 2 months of morning sickness. Happy to be pregnant again (16 weeks) but I feel like I have now been pregnant for TOO LONG to only be this far gone TWO Christmases and New Years without drinking and I feel like a fat git fantastic sick from dawn till dusk (and through the night) I can't wait to crack open the champagne either!

archiepuss Fri 17-Jul-09 10:44:39

Glad to hear that I am not alone!

Now another thought - does anyone else suffer from more general health worries when pregnant? For me, back pain turns into bone cancer, rib pain indicates something really sinister, lumpy boobs are terrifying.

I know that having kids has made me feel that I need to be around but when I'm pregnant EVERYTHING hurts and I get all paranoid. I feel as though everything I read and watch is about people dying young and leaving their children. When I read this back I realise it's really grim and I am sorry to be so depressing but I wonder if it's common to feel like this. Completely unscientific straw poll amongst friends says that it is.

Ballooning Fri 17-Jul-09 11:18:54

I have to say while I don't hate it, I don't love it either. Bored of all those who say how they loved being pregnant, so much so that they would be surrogates. Mind you, I am one of those people who doesn't get excited before going on holiday - I'll send you a postcard when I get there - so I reckon I'm the same now. Just give me the baby! (Though going on holiday also doesn't bring on heartburn, spotty back, crap clothes, wide backside or painful shoulder blades). The problem is the guilt as I feel like such a cow even daring to think such things. Nothing to do with not wanting the babe - far from it - just could do to fast forward the nine months bit!! Chin up x

PinkTulips Fri 17-Jul-09 11:38:17

3 pregancies and i detested every one of them.

i find it absolutely agonising having a baby in me... i can't move, i can't breathe, i feel practically violated at times when they kick (all three of mine were insanely active.... they could make me scream in pain just by kicking at times)

i spend most of the pregnancy just wanting my body back.

luckily it never once impacted how i felt about my babies... even whilst i detested carrying them i loved them unimaginably and was instantly smitten with them at birth....... i'm just a miserable cow whilst pregnant, have always been very envy of those women who say they love pregnancy!

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