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why are men so insensitive?

(27 Posts)
bubbles2904 Thu 19-May-05 13:08:52

hi everyone, i'll try to keep this short as i don't want to bore you all, my partner has gone off sex with me, last week after a few words,he made a comment that we should live together as friends but still occasionally have sex, i laughed about this, then last night he said that he loves me enough to stick around for a few years but thats all. when he saw my face he started laughing and said he was joking but now i feel real hatred towards him. he can't understand why i got so upset about this and blamed my hormones. what would you do? would you be angry and upset too or am i over reacting?

starlover Thu 19-May-05 13:11:26

i think they're born like it!

do you think he meant what he said?
i think if dp said that to me i'd be a bit upset, even if it was just a joke...

Iklboo Thu 19-May-05 13:24:03

Bubbles, I would have been very upset too if my DH had said something like this. Sounds like yours is behaving like a spoilt kid.

bubbles2904 Thu 19-May-05 13:27:45

i don't know how to take him lately, even as a joke i think it's really mean and insensitive thing to say. but now, HE aint speaking to me!!!

dyzzidi Thu 19-May-05 15:08:29

I would be upset bubbles why not try to talk to him over a nice meal and tell him how he is hurting you with these kind of comments.

I say a meal as it is the only time my DP sits still long enought to listen to me.

Blu Thu 19-May-05 15:14:38

Ummm, I would have taken it as an affectionate joke!
Sometimes men are insensitive, but equally, women take things terribly personally.
Unless you are actually feeling that there is a serious problem underlying your relationship, then I would calm down and next time he tells you you'll do for a few years, tell him you'd like to have a firm date in mind because you need to interview his replacement, and you don't want crowd control problems with the queue.

TrophyWife Thu 19-May-05 15:19:36

if it helps my dh, thinks that its ok to make really nasty jokes and cant understand why i get upset by them. If i were youi would be upset too.
i aggree with dyzzidi, sit him down with food and tell him, i did this and it helped, dh now only says nasty things on the odd nite....

kama Thu 19-May-05 15:29:31

Message withdrawn

bubbles2904 Thu 19-May-05 21:12:39

thanks so much for the replies. i think i'll do the meal thing once i've ignored him for a few days first! as for the joke of having crowd control, i think thats a good one blu and i just want to thank you for making me smile for the first time today xxx

bamik Fri 20-May-05 12:11:55

Bubbles ((((Big HUG))))

Probably not going to help by trhis but anyway....

I would have SWUNG FOR HIM!!! Joke asdie - you're preganant which is an ABSOLUTE joy! BUT - we're all adults here. Does he REALLY need to be told "sir, please be sensitive towards Bubbles as she is pregnant"?? Well NO. Sorry to shout but I just get a bit fed up with their uncalled for commments! Hubby managed to tick me off last Sunday and I didn't speak to him for 5 days! Now I'm not saying that the silent treatment works for everyone (the dinner thing sounds good to me dyzzydi). BUT - he has to know that now is not the time for silly fun & jokes. I've learned that these hormones just do what they like when they like and I find that I get upset so easily now! Pregnancy is a joy, but it's not easy when you have all the changes going on to your body that you can't control (I know that I've struggled at times!!).

Ladies I really hope that I don't sound like a hubby basher! But I think that it's important that our partners are put firmly in their place at a time like this!!

Sorry again if these comments are too harsh! I think I'm just having one of those days [Blush]

Love, Bami xx

bubbles2904 Fri 20-May-05 16:06:00

thanks bamik, that was how i felt. i really wanted to swing for the git, i had a pair of scissors next to me at the time so he's lucky he's still breathing, i'd get away with it too because i'm pregnant, LOL. i think he's just so insensitive of him and he's still behaving like a complete moron, like it's all my fault for being too silly and sensitive. i'm 25 weeks tomorrow and the stress of his moods are not helping me. i had a scare yesterday and took a sick day today and he hasn't once asked me how i or our baby is. BLOODY MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i'll turn lesbian, or even better, celibate for life! who needs men? not me!

dyzzidi Fri 20-May-05 16:27:11

I thought I was giving you sound advice bubbles but today I may actually kill my DP and will only feed him poison.

Do you think men actually try to be complete idiots or is it in there genes.

Can they ever find anything unless it is two inches in front of them.

Can they actually Clean!!!

Oh I could just scream stupid insensitive ignorant man.

trix Fri 20-May-05 16:34:12

I just dont get them either. Last week we had a heart to heart about how crap I felt sometimes (contemplating SAHM role) and that some weeks really seem to drag and that I really look forward to weekends. He said he would tak ethis on board etc etc..Anyway, hes just called me from work to check if its OK if he goes round to his mates house tonight and then tells me hes going to see (bloody) star wars tomorrow! Great weekend! Pha! Do you literally have to scream and go mad before they get it?? But then of course you would just be seen a crazy mental wife!

dyzzidi Fri 20-May-05 16:39:34

Mine is plain lazy this week!!!

tamula Fri 20-May-05 16:43:23

He would be in the dog house for an unspecified amount of time if he were my bf. Just how is that funny? It's mean and bloody insensitive, hang on ... just like a bloke!!

hamster Fri 20-May-05 16:51:47

Oh Bubbles, what a sick sense of humour these creatures have.
Sounds like he honestly thought he was being hilarious. My man thinks stuff like that is funny too, so don't worry you are not alone.
I think that being pg also brings a heightened sensitive side to us, and therefore men should be aware of this and stop being pigs.

I wouldn't hold a grudge though, but I'd tell him that if he wants a peaceful life, then to think before he opens his mouth!


bamik Fri 20-May-05 17:33:34

Here here! I 2nd that Hamster

bubbles2904 Fri 20-May-05 17:36:24

me too hamster. how long do you all think i should make him sweat for, we haven't spoken for about 48 hours now

bamik Fri 20-May-05 17:46:04

Well I didn't speak to DH for 5 days but i still fed him

It was like, I'm not speaking to you but I still care enough not to let you starve - U animal!!

Make him think a bit!

bubbles2904 Fri 20-May-05 17:54:03

5 days? i don't think i can manage that long. he's too irresistable. LOL as for the feeding part, he does the cooking, but he hasn't cooked for me since he pissed me off. oops sorry for the bad language, must be the hormones(well, they get blamed for everything else so why not?????)

hamster Fri 20-May-05 18:32:01

Hey Bubbles,
you know what's right and how to pi*s him off, so as long as you think's best!

Make sure you let us know how it goes!!!!

bubbles2904 Fri 20-May-05 18:37:53

i will do, and thanks for easing my mind, thought i'd just over-reacted but now i know that he was the one that was out of order

hamster Fri 20-May-05 18:41:09

Too right. All to often they make us feel like the wrong ones.

Anyway, have a good wkend chick

bubbles2904 Fri 20-May-05 18:42:25

you too hunny, and thanks again, how far are you? do you know what you're having?

hamster Fri 20-May-05 18:43:53

I'm 16 wks, so don't know yet. Hopefully I'll find out at my 20 wk scan. I'll be gutted if I don't find out!

How about you?

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