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Pregnant the same time as SIL. Annoyed that DH's family have ignored this pg

(9 Posts)
whocaresaboutyourintellect Sun 12-Jul-09 15:22:54

This is her first and I am really pleased for her but hormones are getting to me and I had to endure 3 hours today with MIL and constant pg talk and mine was not mentioned once. She hasn't even asked when I am due which is 4 weeks before SIL.

I know it's natural to take a bigger interest in your DD's pg but I just want someone to notice mine. It is still special to me after all.

Common sense tells me to bear it. Hormones tell me to rant. Following the hormones but keeping it confined to MN wink

llareggub Sun 12-Jul-09 15:25:47

I do feel for you. My mother got my due date wrong by 6 weeks and even when I corrected her, she still got it wrong. I'm sure she'll be interested when the baby comes. I suspect she is over-excited about her DD being pregnant.

juuule Sun 12-Jul-09 15:33:42

It's probably because it's her dd and a first pg.

Not many people aside from the parents-to-be are as interested in subsequent births as they were for a first. Or at least that's what I've found.

aoifesmama Sun 12-Jul-09 22:07:48

Just to say I was in exactly the same position, and we both had DDs 2 days apart in April. It used to make me either furious or tearful depending on the day (think exacerbated by my mum dying 5 years ago). However, this is my first and I have to say I think its taken some of the pressure off as MIL has to split her nagging advice between 2 of us wink

greenelephant Sun 12-Jul-09 22:10:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smellen Sun 12-Jul-09 22:17:23

Just life I guess - first pregnancies are always so exciting, and if it's your DD who is in the pudding club, then I guess as a mother you can be more involved than you can with your DiL (assuming you've got a good relationship with your DD).

Also, FTM are more likely to talk non-stop about their "condition" (I know I did - god it must have been soooo dull for everyone who knew me, you'd have thought I'd been the first woman on earth to have a baby blush).

When pregnant with No 2, even I was less interested in the pregnancy, as I didn't have that much time to reflect on it - it somehow just happened, and even DH turned round to me at 26wks and asked when the 20 wk scan was. He had been there for it, but completely forgot it smile.

Try to be happy for your SiL, and enjoy the fact that you're an old hand at this baby-making lark and are probably loads more relaxed about the whole thing.

Heated Sun 12-Jul-09 22:19:44

So, when is your due date? smile

LetThemEatCake Sun 12-Jul-09 22:50:27

god, sorry to be a cow, but I would give anything for my sil to be pregnant - then maybe my MiL would back the fuck off and stay out of my face a bit.

Funny thing is, she takes zero interest in me and my pregnancies - but is the first to pounce (in a Gollum sort of way) when the babies are born. "MY grandchildren. MINE!!!!!"

I am sorry you are feeling neglected, but I do think that it's a cloud with a silver lining!

Treats Mon 13-Jul-09 12:30:00

I'm in a similar, but different position. My sister is due a few days after me and - I have to be honest - I was a bit envy when I found out. I wanted to be 'the special one' for a change! But as time has gone on, it's been really nice to share the experience with her. It's the first time for both of us, so we can bore each other about our symptoms.

Don't know if this is helpful, but maybe you and your SiL can get together and compare notes without your Mil there? She'll probably be grateful for the help and support from someone who's been through it all recently. That way, you can share the excitement with each other. I know how you feel, but you can't really blame your MiL for being more excited about her DD's first pregnancy.

For what it's worth, given that I have to share my mum's excitement with my sister, I was hoping to bask in the attention of my in laws - this is their first grandchild. But they've been completely uninterested (no reason, they're just very odd people.....).

But just as Letthemeatcake said - hopefully they'll carry on being uninterested when the baby's here and leave me alone grin.

DH and I are hugely happy and excited about the baby and that's all I really care about....

Hope you feel better soon!!!

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