I have a son who has just left primary school, and is about to go into Year 7. A few days ago I found out that I am, for the second time, pregnant (which is a big shock - I am 41), and so his only child world is about to be turned upside down! I know it's a bit early to be telling him, but I want to be prepared, since it's such a massive change. When would you tell him? How would you tell him? I need help!
I'm 32 weeks preggers and I have a son just coming out of year 7.
Plus, I was 13 when my first brother was born, so I'm hoping to speak to you from both perspectives .
I waited till I was about 10 weeks pregnant before I told my son. I just said I had something important to tell him and went ahead one evening. I said, 'you're going to have a little brother or sister.' His reaction was lovely, thankfully, and he has been a very helpful little assistant to me, carrying shopping etc. He is quite excited and loves looking at the fabulous baby toys on the market.
When I was little and my mum told me that she was pregnant I was very happy for her, but quite unsure about whether my 'special' relationship with her would stop being so special. It took me a couple of months to bond with my wonderful brother and discover that I could have a very unique relationship with him too! I was the cool older sister and now I go to him for car advice and such. We are very good at teaming up to wind up our mum. It all works out, really!
I say, be very clear when you tell him the news, not too much preamble and make lots of space for questions and feelings. And keep him involved. I recently asked my son whether he expects that he might feel a bit jealous of the baby when she arrives. He frankly looked at me as if I was bonkers. Be prepared for it to be a lot easier than you expect.