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Eau naturelle v caesarean: Too posh to push????

(32 Posts)
bubblesincambridge Thu 09-Jul-09 18:55:54

I will be nearly 43 by the time I give birth and I honestly think I'm too old for all my bits to spring back afterwards. I also honestly think that an elective caesarean must surely be the safest way to deliver.

However I don't really want to ask the midwife if it is possible to request a caesarean in case she puts me in the "too posh to push" category (especially if she spots one of my handbags!).

I'm certainly not too posh to push, and the thought of being incapacitated for several weeks after a caesarean doesn't appeal either.

Not sure how to handle the subject to be honest. Would be grateful for your thoughts.

muddle78 Thu 09-Jul-09 19:42:19

my reasons for poss. (not decided yet) going for caesarian are different but i agree that it must be the safest way? prob for me is my mum is ultra 'eau natural' and is paying for my independant midwife who i know wont be impressed lol. i think at the end of the day it is our bodies and our choise. also, if you dont plan on any more babies theres less reason for them to argue on medical grounds?

lazylion Thu 09-Jul-09 20:27:38

From what I have read c-section is the safest for the baby, if by a very small margin not for you (this applies to elective rather than emergency obviously). I've had 2 and about to have my third. You can be out & about in a week with little pain. I have paid the price with my stomach though, the scar is fine (tiny and white) but the overhang refuses to shift.
The midwife will not be doing the c-section so it doesn't matter what she thinks. Since I have opted for c-sections I have been surprised to find out how many doctors do the same themselves.

thisisyesterday Thu 09-Jul-09 20:34:10

c-section is not as safe as natural birth for the mother.

why do you think it must be the safest way to deliver? are there other factors aside frm age?

bigstripeytiger Thu 09-Jul-09 20:39:14

C Section isnt safer for the baby either.

MamaG Thu 09-Jul-09 20:45:02

bubbles I have had 2 VBs and 1 CS and I would pick the VB every time, esp for the recovery time afterwards. I would never choose to have a CS, ever. I found it so hard for lots of reasons, including being knockd out (spinal didn't work) so didn't see my baby when he was first born, the first day of his life is a real haze. I really struggled to get back on my feet afterwards it was WEEKs before I felt human!

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Thu 09-Jul-09 20:45:28

I am firmly in the "it's YOUR decision" what you have camp and ignore the midwife why would you care what she thinks? 2 days after the birth you won't even remember her name.

ChunkyChick Thu 09-Jul-09 21:02:10

I had my first baby at 39 and opted for a private elective cs as we had tried for many years to get pregnant and I was too worried about something going wrong with the baby after all we'd been through (lack of oxygen etc) to want a natural birth. I read lots of horror stories about c sections (mostly on here) and was a bit worried, but let me tell you my elective was a FANTASTIC experience and I have never looked back. Everything was calm and controlled, and I was up and about - even up and down the stairs in our three storey townhouse - within a couple of days. Seriously. My birth experience was about the best of our whole NCT group. (Another girl in my group also had a cs, an emergency cs and she also had a good experience.) If all goes well with my current pregnancy I am due to give birth again when I am 42 and I will definitely be getting another cs. I don't need to push for the sake of it. It's just a means to an end. I like my bits the way they are, and I don't care who thinks I'm posh.

Lulumama Thu 09-Jul-09 21:07:15

i don;t think really that age is that much of a factor

i think you need to do some reading round, about c.sections and vaginal births

you can ask for a c.,section, but in the absence of firm medical reasons, be they physical or psychological, you might struggle to get one simply based on maternal choice within the NHS

there have been lots of threads on here about it, including interesting statistics on VB v C.section safety

i have had one c.s and one v.b and personally would choose a v.b

re your bits.. it is not just the birth that takes its toll, pregnancy will afffect your body in ways you had never imagined !!

have you considered an independent midwife or doula to support you before , during and after the birth.. whichever mode of deliveyr you go for

make an informed choice, that is the key

but the NHS has finite resources so you might have to fight for a c.s

some consultants will be more pro elective than otehrs

pippa251 Fri 10-Jul-09 07:10:19

I have had experience of neither but I really researched both- my best friend is a doctor who actually performs c sections as part of her rotation. I found a lot of people who didn't have children- my sister espeically - were only too happy to put the fear of god in me about my bits and natural birth.

However, most people who I have spoken to who have experience of both and the doctor have been overwhelming on advising viginal. (I won't go into detail about the doctors oppinion as some people don't have a choice and have to have c/s)

Yet the important thing to remember is that it is YOUR decision.

makipuppy Fri 10-Jul-09 12:53:11

Hi, I've just been speaking with my midwife about this. I'm 41 and 33 weeks with No. 1.

We too thought that elective cs would be the safest, but when I mentioned it to MW yesterday her view was that it was neither safer nor more dangerous. She has nothing against it but said remember you'd be having an operation with its own risks. She's booked me an appt with the consultant for DP and me to discuss it fully.

Re the age factor, she said older women sometimes have more trouble getting into labour but that health problems are really what they look out for, so if you're otherwise healthy, it's not a factor.

She was happy to offer me a free elective c-section though, so it is our decision to make.

I also have severe asthma, so I'll be asking about that at our appt.

Why not ask for an appt. with the consultant?

bubblesincambridge Fri 10-Jul-09 15:16:43

Thanks for the comments so far. I'm quite small and petite so the last thing I want is to struggle with a VB and then end up having an emergency caesarean: I think that's what worries me the most.

However, if you have a caesarean how incapacitated are you afterwards?? Are you allowed to pick up the baby. I've heard that you're not allowed to do anything (even lift a kettle) for 6 weeks after general abdominal surgery, but I don't know if that is the case also for a CS.

madwomanintheattic Fri 10-Jul-09 15:29:34

the consultant obstetrician with dd1 told me he would not let his wife deliver naturally when there was a far safer, more efficient method available. wink

truly bizarre.

i've had 1 cs and 2 vbac. i'm rubbish at childbirth and now have a consultant's letter (diff consultant lol) saying 'give this woman a cs if she ever gets pg again', which suits me tbh, not that i'll be using it.

investigate your options and talk to your doc. i had no option to elect for cs for dc 2 and 3, despite having had a cs for dc1. i suspect you may not be given a choice.

i was flat on my back for two days and then hoisted onto a commode (german hospital - in the uk they get you up as soon as poss). no lifting. you will need help around the house for two weeks at least.

i drove at about 4 weeks, but realised fairly quickly why they say 6 weeks.

HeadFairy Fri 10-Jul-09 15:43:37

Great post by lulu!

I had a planned cs for ds as he was a footling breech. Even though I was terrified of the pain of birth I still would have gone through it because I think it's much better for the baby, the hormones it receives, the bacteria it picks up as it passes down the birth canal, the fact it's lungs are compressed as it's born so no need for suctioning. All of that means it's better for baby definitely. That's if it all goes well.

Of course things can go wrong and there are people on here whose babies have been damaged at birth, but that's pretty rare, and there can be complications with cs too. You can have infections, the baby may initially have breathing problems etc.

However for me the risks of vb with a footling breech were too great so I opted for the cs. In December when I'm due to give birth again, I'll probably opt for cs again, partly because our hospital have stupid restrictions about vbacs, and partly because I know three people recently who went for vbacs and all ended up with emcs, which is much harder to recover from (esp as second time around you not only have a new born but your other dcs to care for too). I'm undecided yet, but I can also attest to how pleasant a planned cs can be. Very relaxed, calm, almost enjoyable, though of couse I have no frame of reference as it was my only experience of birth.

muppetgirl Fri 10-Jul-09 16:05:57

I had a c-section on monday (after 2 vaginal deliveries) I was up on my feet on tuesday and home by wed afternoon. I am mobile and realtively pain free though my back (?) is hurting if I stand for too long. I am able to lift my baby but nothing heavier as although I feel well the stitches inside need time to heal properly. Your milk can take longer to come in so feeding can be more difficult to establish + finding a comfy position can also be tricky.

I chose a c-section this time due to 1st delivery being induced + ventouse and my second though being spontaneous my son got stuck (9lb 15 1/2oz) I ended up in theatre with a forceps delivery and 3rd degree tear. C-section was not the easy option for me or my family as I am unable to care for my 20 month old (non-walker so far)by myself and have had to employ help whilst I recover.

I think you need to do much more reading into your options and there are greater reasons than worrying about lady bits not going back to have a c-section. Your bits will never look and feel exactly as they were pre pregnancy but you do have something more wonderful that takes your mind of it!

Lulumama Fri 10-Jul-09 16:50:03

being small and petite is absolutely no indication of how you will fare with a vaginal birth. plenty of small, slim women give birth with no problems. you will most likely grow the size of baby you can give birth too and there are lots of things you can do to help things , i.e not lying on the bed to deliver, using a birth pool, avoiding epidural.

of course you are allowed to pick up the baby ! you have to, unless you have staff for the first 6 weeks.. and skin to skin and close contact with the baby as soon as possible after the birth is really important.

post c.s you will be encouraged up and about as soon as possible.. there is an increased risk of DVT and you should get mobile as soon as.

some women find it an absolute breeze, some struggle.

there are lots of unknonws

but your age and size are not compelling reasons IMO for a c.s

jaype Fri 10-Jul-09 16:53:06

Never had a caesar myself but I just wanted to add that not all doctors are pro-sections. My friend is a surgeon who deals with post-birth repairs. Though you'd think all the things she has seen would be enough to put her off for life, she has just had her third vb and was up and collecting her other kids from school the next day.

She is considering a fourth baby and said that this time she may reluctantly go for a CS as her perineum is getting a bit fragile, but doesn't really want to owing to the possible complications - infections are her major concern, especially given the state of modern hospitals.

MrsMattie Fri 10-Jul-09 16:56:29

I've had two sections, which were fine, although no walk in the park. However, it isn't something I would have elected for with no medical reason behind it. It really IS a big op and I'd say MOST vaginal births seem preferable.

Also, your stomach doesn't bounce back after a c-section. A small pwercentage ofwomen have those 'textbook' tummies with a sweet little smile of a scar. For most of us it's carnage under our clothes wink

Lulumama Fri 10-Jul-09 16:58:13

it;s almost 10 years since my c,s and i do have an extra ridge. also still some numbness to the right of my scar. whereas my foofoo has bounced back from my VB!! there are pros and cons, rights and wrongs, informed decision is key.

Northernlurker Fri 10-Jul-09 17:00:37

Can I just point out that as far as I'm aware it's 'au' not 'eau' - nothing to do with water!

suwoo Fri 10-Jul-09 17:16:14

I have had both types of delivery and am having my 2nd elective in 20 days (shiiiiit!!!).

My 1st delivery was a very traumatic vaginal delivery resulting in a near death experience (for me) and a prolonged stay in hospital.

My elective section was a breeze in comparison and I was shopping in my local city centre on day 5. I have a lovely scar and flat stomach (well I did before being pg again).

My snatch, however has never recovered from the trauma and I have a 3rd degree prolpase amongst other ishoos.

It all depends on the individual- I do recommend that you do a great deal of reading on both subjects before making up your mind.

Good luck grin

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Fri 10-Jul-09 17:25:11

" the baby may initially have breathing problems etc. "

I am sure there has been research done to show that if the elcs is done 38+ there is no increase in breathing difficulties compared to a VB. It's been linked on here during a major VB vs CS argument.

HeadFairy Fri 10-Jul-09 19:10:34

Libra, when I said baby may have breathing problems, I didn't mean because a cs is performed before due date, I meant more that cs babies often have to have some suctioning out to clear their lungs of fluid, I know my ds did. VB babies have their lungs squeezed passing through the birth canal so don't have this problem so often. Sorry if I confused.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya Fri 10-Jul-09 19:33:50

Have you read the info on the Mumsnet pregnancy section about CS? It has some good info on the relative risks - which does include some increased risk of breathing problems for the baby.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Fri 10-Jul-09 19:46:39

"However a c-section does increase the chance of your baby experiencing breathing difficulties at birth: about 35 of every 1,000 babies born by c-section experience this, compared with five out of every 1,000 babies born by vaginal birth."

I love mumsnet but that doesn't make the above fact any truer. Which research are they quoting and has the research taken into account that c-sections are often done for emergency reasons that could cause the breathing problems rather than the c-section itself? I am trying to find the thread but there has been research done to show that elcs after 38+ weeks does not have any more effect on breathing problems than vb but there is a lot of mumsnet to trawl thru!

(prays to god she can find the thread!)

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