Rubbish third trimester with chronic insomnia or new born baby... which is worse?

[Picante]

Please tell me it's the former.

I'm up every hour needing a wee, then spend ages trying to go back to sleep. Am usually awake between 2 and 4am with restlessness and leg cramps.

I've got sciatica.

I think morning sickness has come back at 34 weeks - have struggled with nausea throughout but proper sickness has come back.

I've got a really whingy clingy tantrummy 3 year old who is waking at 5am every morning.

I hate moaning about it because I'm scared that once the baby's here it's going to be 10 times worse.

Please tell me having a newborn with a toddler is easier than a pretty awful pregnancy?!

[ThePhantomPlopper]

Definitely the former.

You have my sympathy!

[Picante]

You're just saying that to make me feel better aren't you?!

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

Again definitely the former! And I have had two babies who refuse to be put down and feed every two hours around the clock with little family support!

There is nothing quite like pregnancy tiredness - ignore the people who like to try and make you feel worse when they randomly come up to you in the street and tell you if you feel tired now just you wait...

[Chaotica]

The former, definitely (especially when you have a toddler in the mix).

[thisisyesterday]

depends on the baby!

ds1 and ds3 were/are lovely as newborns. slept well, ate well, just generally cute and lovely.

ds2 was AWFUL. i would have the end stages of pregnancy any day over another newborn like him

[Rindercella]

Sorry, I disagree about the former being worse. When pg with DD I was the same as you - up every hour to pee, bad bad bad indigestion, I was huge so could never get comfortable. Fool that I was, I assumed that this was Nature's way of preparing me for DD's arrival. Ha! Nothing could have prepared me for the first few weeks of her life!

It was all worth it though! Those first few weeks go quickly and DD has been a joy ever since

Good luck

[Picante]

Thanks for the honesty! I am prepared for it to be worse... but I think I will be very glad not to feel sick any more.

[miffin]

Depends on you and depends on the baby BUT - I'd take the newborn over pregancy anyday, and I don't even have nausea or sciatica. I am just so tired and no amount of rest gives me the energy I need for a day. Yes it's hard with a newborn and you are tired, but not this horrible ill-feeling tired, so usually more manageble.
At least that's what I'm hoping as I'm pretty much in the same boat as you!

[mogend77]

Definitely the former! By miles!

[LoveBuckets]

Me too, I prefer the kookoo dream-deprived insanity of life with a newborn to the bone-tired, structural insecurity of pregnancy (and OMG the nausea, poor you.) At least after the baby's out you might get a few naps by freakish coincidence and people are more happy to help out if they can get an occasional glimpse of newborn. You can walk away from it all for a few minutes, which you can't do when you're pg, can you?

Do you drive at all? I found it invaluable (once my DH had gone back to work) to drive round and round til they were both asleep then park up next to a playground for a read/nap/flask of coffee. If the elder one woke we could just get out and go play.

Good luck.

[LoveBuckets]

Ooh and get an adjustable ringsling now, just in case you do get a baby that can't bear to be put down. Has been invaluable with DC#3, was even able to change DC#2's nappies whilst wearing the baby!

[hedgiemum]

Newborn + toddler MUCH easier than pregnant + toddler for me. I'm due with number 4 any day. Some specific things that helped me were cosleeping, big piles of story books to read to toddler/s whilst bfing newborn, and keeping 1 room tidy and clean to relax in whenever possible or when guests arrived and ignoring most housework aside from that.

[justlookatthatbooty]

sorry to gatecrash, just want to say...

GOD! So relieved to find this thread. Am 37+2 with a DS of 16 months and have been asking this very same question every day. Have been seriously questioning my ability to be a mum of two as can hardly cope with the ill tired aweful insomnia feeling of late pregnancy. I now have a ray of hope that I'll be a great albeit tired mum of two.

Good luck Picante. We can compare notes later!

x

[jabberwocky]

I had a terrible third trimester with ds2.

It was definitely easier having a newborn - even one that was slightly preemie - and a 3 yo toddler.

[franke]

Deffo the former. That's not to say the first days weeks months with a newborn aren't difficult but a) they sleep alot during the day (normally) and b) you don't have to heave a huge belly around, have fat ankles and generally feel pissed off with the world.

God, pregnancy was the pits [grins]

[franke]

[ClaudiaSchiffer]

The last stages of pregnancy are vile. It is definately far far worse than having a newborn.

You have my sympathies.

[Picante]

Oh fantastic you lot. Giving me a ray of hope!

[Gromit78]

I have yet to experience having a newborn tro look after, but in theory I imagine the former discomfort is worse than getting up and looking after the baby.

For one thing I am looking forward to my body bouncing back to shape, so I don't have this awkward bump in the way. Hopefully I will be able to do the household chores a little faster. Also I will be able to sleep on my front and my hips may stop hurting. So apart from fatigue that can always be fixed with a few hours kip in the day when DH is home, I don't imagine I will have to suffer anymore physical discomforts.

[Confuzzeled]

Picante, I'm the same, 33 weeks and have dd 2.4yo. Your thread has made me feel better

[audreyraines]

thankyou thankyou. having a newborn just CANNOT be worse than this (and my ds was pretty awful in the early days so i don't say this lightheartedly). 31 weeks now and i'm counting down the minutes.

i have chronic insomnia too. pretty much every night i'll be up for at least 3 hours for no particular reason. have vomited all the way through since 6 weeks. i'm a weeing machine, can't go anyway that's away from a toilet, and when i cough, well, thank god i discovered tena lady
just started having sacral pain which makes me hobble around. it's all so grim. give me labour anyday!

[mrsbabookaloo]

Hi, I was REAALLY fed up of being pg and also have 3 year old, and I was thinking that I wouldn't have chance to appreciate not being pg anymore, but I can report that with an 11 day old dd, even though she fed for 10 hours straight yesterday pm and eve and I've only had 3 hours sleep, I'm STILL glad that I'm not pregnant any more.

Pregnancy is so long, and it's hard.

I'll feel even gladder when I've recovered from the birth properly: my feet were horribly swollen afterwards and now they've gone down I'm so grateful, and when my nether regions recover, I'll feel back to normal.

[audreyraines]

very reassuring mrs babookaloo, thanks. 9 weeks to go (and crossing fingers for slightly early baby)

[Lizzylou]

I barely slept from 5mthpg with both DS's.

Night feeds with a newborn were a doddle in comparison.

Not to mention the lack of heartburn and pea sized bladder. I had sciatica when pg with DS1, it's awful, isn't it?

Good luck

[alana39]

Not much to choose between late pg and newborn when it's your first, I thought, and you have no idea what you're doing.

But you won't have that problem Piccante and I think it's much easier to deal with tiredness when you're not also the size of a house and feeling sick. At least babies usually wake up, feed and go back to sleep, not keep you awake by inflicting pain. Usually, anyway