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Preparing our daughter for the arrival of number 2 - how did you do it x

(9 Posts)
Freyfreysmum Wed 01-Jul-09 11:06:48

DD is 19m. We are talking to everyone about the new baby as 'Freya's new sister' and putting the emphasis on involving Freya in everything, and trying to explain as much as we can. Also baby2 comes along at the start of Oct (well that is the plan lol) and Freyas birthday is Nov so we will give her an extra special party and of course then Xmas, so we are hoping the transition will be as smooth as possible. Also, my MiL is going to have baby2 one morning a week so that I can take Freya swimming, and still have our special time together.
What else can you suggest for those of you in the same boat or who have already been there!
x FFM

blommetjie Wed 01-Jul-09 11:36:30

I am in the same position, almost exactly! my daughter is 19months and the baby is due in december, just before her birthday,,,well, that is the plan. i have not thought about it that much yet, but could also do with suggestions. we will have an earlier bday party for her. the midwife suggested getting a toy baby for her to play with, maybe let her put it in the crib, dress it etc. the swimming idea is great, think i will do the same with our childminder. maybe talk about it as much as possible, let her feel your tummy. my girl just loves babies(did not realise the motherly instinct kicked in so young), so sort of understands me when i say there is a baby in there!

not sure if any of that will help...smile

olivo Wed 01-Jul-09 11:57:36

my dd is a bit older than yours (2.10 now), but since she sussed it (we were going to tell her after the 22 wk scan but one of the nursery nurses was pg and so she knew about babies in tummies and casually informed me that's what i had!), we have talked about the baby a lot. one friend mentioned not to refer to 'it' as the 'new' baby in case they thought they were the old one and were being replaced - fair point though difficult at times!

Have tried to keep DD involved - she been with me to the dr a couple of times and is encouraged to help put the gel; on my tummy and talk to the baby down the monitor grin. we got her a book about dora becoming a big sister, and also a baby doll plus some accessories - she just loves taking the baby in its buggy and feeding it, bathing it etc.

we have also let her help us choose things for the baby - we dont really need much but wanted to include her so she's chosen some clothes and a toy. she also has a pictue from the scan that she likes to show people!

not sure if any of these will help with younger ones, but maybe!

good luck!

olivo Wed 01-Jul-09 11:58:35

oh, and ours is due on her birthday LOL grin

blommetjie Wed 01-Jul-09 12:29:35

some nice ideas! especially the point about not saying new baby, although my little one won't understand that yet!

walkingwomb Wed 01-Jul-09 12:55:14

My DD is 13 months and I am due in October too. She is so wee that i can't imagine preparing her to be honest. I have heard about a book called something like there is a house in my mummy which I was thinking of getting nearer the time. And getting her a doll that will be from the baby. Any other ideas woudl be good.

BlueChampagne Wed 01-Jul-09 13:15:03

DS will be 2 years 3 months when number 2 arrives in December (again, if all goes according to plan), but as he hasn't really got a concept of time yet, we haven't mentioned it to him. When have other people broken the news to this sort of age group?

Another boy at his nursery will become an older brother about a month beforehand, so hoping this will help get him used to the idea.

Likewise, tips welcome!

alittleteapot Wed 01-Jul-09 22:42:10

My dd is also bit older - just 2 - and will have a new sibling in the autumn. she sussed it before we told her as we have a few pregnant friends so she worked out herself what was in my fat belly.

We have a couple of really nice books about waiting for baby and then the baby having arrived. She got a doctor's kit for her birthday because she's fascinated by stethoscopes etc at doc's appointments and I wanted to make that side of things fun not scary.

She has a doll she loves mothering - pretending to change nappies and even breastfeeding!! She's got a toy buggy which she loves and I've got her a dolly sling too.

We know a young baby so we talk about him a lot (that he can't walk yet, that he sleeps alot and only wears pyjamas). Also she sees me cuddling him which she hated at first but it's getting better. She loves cuddling him herself though and is generally quite besotted by him.

We try and refer to it as our baby (as in hers as well as mummy's and daddy's) and have started to talk about what it might say when it comes out (Wah Wah Wah) and what it might do all day.

She's very sweet about it, kisses my tummy and sticks precious Peppa Pig stickers on it "for baby"! But I'm sure she'll find it a bit difficult when the competition arrives.

The books we've got are lovely but are in her room where she's asleep. If anyone wants the titles I'll post again tomorrow.

I've read it's important not to call the older sibling "a big girl/boy now" and insist they behave as such - that it's best to let them continue to be the baby as well if they seem to want to - they won't want to for long. In other words that it's good not to change how you treat them.

Interested to hear other people's thoughts and approaches. It must be quite a shock for a first child when the second one comes along.

NeedaNewName Wed 01-Jul-09 22:52:35

Theres a House Inside My Mummy..

Where my baby sister grows, or maybe its my baby brother no one really knows..

and so it goes on. Fab book, highly recommended. We still talk about when the girls where inside mummys tummy house.

As everyone has said, include her in whats going on. Whilst it can't guarantee everyhting will run smoothly yo'll have a better chance.

Don't talk about the baby being a new friend cos they won;t be for a while. Try and have some time alone with your DD1 if you can very difficult I know.

And lastly don;t beat yourself up over it. it won;t be long before your DD1 has no memories of life without her sibling.

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