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If you had an awful first pregnancy, how do you decide to put yourself through it again?

(5 Posts)
Wonderstuff Sun 21-Jun-09 20:29:02

Actually my first pg was an early missed mc. That one was miserable until I lost my baby then I was devestated when I found out why I was feeling better. My second pg resulted in DD and she is fab, but I was so poorly and it was so debilitating. Despite desparatly wanting a child in the first trimester another mc seemed like it wouldn't be all bad at least I wouldn't be sick. I know that sounds just awful, but I was so miserable.

I would love another, but am putting off taking the plunge because I just don't want to go through it again. I am even considering not having another, because it was so awful. And what if I have another mc? It took me well over a year to come to terms with the first. I'm not sure I could do it again...

Don't know what I want to hear really, I just feel time is marching on, it took 3 years to concieve dd in the end and I'm not getting younger, but I dont' know if I'll ever feel ready to try again..

Deemented Sun 21-Jun-09 20:50:48

I had two early mc with my first two pregnancies. My third pregnancy started off as a triplet pregnancy, but sadly i lost a baby at 10 weeks, and at 14 weeks one of my remaining babies was diagnose in utero as being very ill and was unlikely to survive after birth. My boys were then born prem at 28 weeks.

To say it was a strssful and hard pregnancy would be an understatement, and i was determined never ever to do it again, ever. Then i fell pregnant with dd - she was a huge surprise, completely unexpected. Pregnancy with her was... fraught... i was worried constantly that something would be wrong with her, or that i wouldn't actually be taking her home from hospital. But she was perfect. Totally and utterly perfect. And again i was determined that she would be my last.

Now it seems i'm pregnant again - another 'surprise', and i feel much more relaxed this time. It's still early days, but i'm just taking each day as it comes.

IME life is too short to worry about the 'what if's' - you need to grab it by the balls and run with it, and if you feel that having another baby is right for you, then go for it.

slushy06 Mon 22-Jun-09 11:42:16

My first pg left me in hospital for most of the pg and I was only released on bedrest. For this reason I was reluctant to have another as I worried who would take care of my ds if the pg turned bad.

However I really didn't want him to be an only child so I did everything in my power to insure I was really fit and healthly.

I looked at all the problems I had last time in detail and worked out which ones I could stop by doing something before ttc like bumping iron up I am anemic you see. I then looked at the situation again based with the things I couldn't change and decided to go for it.

I am 37 weeks and have not been admitted to hospital once and even things I couldn't control were better e.g morning sickness. So I guess getting in shape really helped.

Verity79 Mon 22-Jun-09 12:52:12

I had a REALLY rough time with my first 'proper' pg.

I started bleeding at 5 weeks, at 8 weeks had intensely painful cramps {eventually diagnosed as ligamentous pain due to scarring on ligaments from endometrisis) to the point of being offered morphine to cope and having a bp of 150/105 when in pain. This lasted until I was induced at 38 weeks.

I fell down the stairs at 24 weeks when I went down stairs to get something for my heartburn, DD kicked which set off the pains and I lost my footing because of the intensity of it. After the fall I knocked my pelvis out and got SPD. I ended up with 2 belts, crutches and housebound. By the end I was only able to get to the hospital and needed a wheelchair to get around the hospital as it was taking 10 mins or more to walk down our path.

Induced at 38 weeks as my cons. 'induces all my epileptic ladies at 38 weeks'. Took 4 days and ended up with synt. and ventouse delivery.

DD1 was due to be an only, my DH seriously was going to wait to see if DD was born alive and then have a vas. but we changed our minds when I had chiropractic care for my pelvis/spine before and during 1st/2nd trimester and that sorted it out. I only went for the adjustments not the clap-trap that unfortunately accompanies some of it.

2nd pg sooooooo much easier and had a 25 hr labour at home with 4 min 2nd stage. I have had worse periods and the pain in my first pg was ten times worse.

3rd pg (currently 24 weeks) and it's so fab I keep forgetting I'm expecting!

I haven't left it years between pgs either as DD1 will be 43 months and DD2 will be 22 months when DD3 is born.

Good luck with whatever you decide and don't forget one crappy pg doesn't mean they will all be crappy grin thank god!

Wonderstuff Mon 22-Jun-09 20:46:06

Thanks for your messages. Interesting slushy that getting in shape helped your sickness. I guess that looking at my diet before concieving is worth a shot. I spoke to a friend today who had several miscarrages and lost a child, but just had number 3. Listening to her and reading your posts has helped me make up my mind. We are moving soon (hopefully) but I think that we will definitly start trying within the year. I will get through it and many people have dealt with much worse. The bottom line is I want another, I can deal with the pg, I will survive whatever outcome it brings.

Best of luck with your pregnancies. Thanks for sharing smile

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