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How did you 'manage' a missed mescarriage? Natural or hospital?

(25 Posts)
NatalieDi Sat 20-Jun-09 20:25:39

Hi everybody,

Had my (very first :-( ) missed miscarriage diagnosed at the 8 week scan....

Can anybody please share any experience of 'letting nature take its course' so that the products of pregnancy evacuate without surgery?

How long did you have to wait? Was it awful? Did everything 'evacuate' in one effort or was it a several stage thing? Did you have to take any medication?

BUPA is prepared to pay for surgery, but I am a bit scared of potential scarring and jeopardising my future pregnancy chances... Any surgery experiences, bad or good?

Thank you very mcu everybody and god bless, both you and your bumps, existing or future ones

choccynutter Sat 20-Jun-09 20:39:44

hello sorry at ur loss I have experiance 6 misscarges now the most recent 2 weeks ago in this case I have had surgary and some of my others but some have gone natrully it depends on ur body really ...suragy doesn't effectt forture pregancy i have 2 lovly boys i'm just very unlucky u don't get scares they just sort of clear you out horrible i know you may need aniboctics after in case of infection but normally not you will bleed for a while after and yes it can be painful but no more then a normal monthly hope this has help and keep your head up it gets better yes it always stays with you but it gets better xxx

Onlyaphase Sat 20-Jun-09 20:39:52

Firstly, very sorry you are going through this Natalie.

I had a missed miscarriage diagnosed at the 7 week scan in Feb this year, it seemed the baby had stopped developing about 5.5 weeks. Like you've probably done, I looked everywhere for information about what was best to do. For me, I really really didn't want to go into hospital at all, so decided to take the wait and see approach

I ended up with a natural miscarriage at around 10 weeks pregnant. And, in the event, it was a bit of an anti-climax as I was all geared up with massive sanitary towels, painkillers and hot water bottles but the actuality was more like a not-so-heavy period lasting 6 days. Less pain than a normal period but more clots I suppose.

From what I've read, the earlier the embryo stopped developing the less tissue there is to get rid of. And whereas I'd be prepared to go through the same experience again, if I was further along in the actual pregancy- maybe 9 or 10 weeks - then I'd probably go for the medical option.

Best of luck for whatever you decide

Thandeka Sat 20-Jun-09 20:40:36

So sorry to hear that

Apparently natural miscarriage means much less likely to impact on future fertility (which I can vouch for as I had a missed miscarraige at 10 weeks about 2 months ago and got pregnant straight after and am now 7 weeks with this one and praying it works out this time.).

In my case bleeding started at 10weeks but emby had died at about 7 so went to A&E and scan showed MMC and by the end of the day it was over- so in a way I was "lucky" that I didn't have to wait. The hospital will probably let you wait a week or two before wanting to intervene or an alternative is they can provide you with a pill which will start the process off but you will still have a "natural miscarriage" ie. hopefully no need for surgery.

I think MC happens differently depending on the person. Mine happened quickly after getting back from the hospital- I was on the floor with pain of "contractions" (but managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen) and bleeding quite heavily and then suddenly a load of massive clots came out. Then about half an hour later another big clot and then just pretty much normal period like bleeding for the next 12 days with the odd small clot. A scan 3 days after the miscarriage showed a complete miscarriage so I didnt need further intervention.

Please look after yourself and do what is best for you. If the MC doesn't start shortly I would look at intervention as IMO the worst part of the whole process is knowing you are carrying something that isnt going to work out.

Take care.
xxx

spicemonster Sat 20-Jun-09 20:49:07

I am so sorry - it's such a vile thing. My MMC was discovered at my 12 week scan and I went through a natural miscarriage at 13 weeks while I was waiting for my surgery. It was pretty full on - much like labour pains to be honest and it lasted like that for about 3 days but bleeding carried on for another week. I didn't have to have any medical intervention after that and carried my next pregnancy to term.

It's entirely up to you - I was terribly worried (which sounds insane I know) that they had made a mistake so it felt better to me to go through it naturally.

Having said all that, they said they thought my embryo had died around 8 weeks so it could be a long time for you to wait to go through it naturally. I think the risks of it affecting any future pregnancies are very very small so I really wouldn't worry on that score - just do what feels right emotionally for you. And get support if you feel you need it - I felt terribly alone and found forums talking to other women who'd gone through it invaluable.

Take care x

ruddynorah Sat 20-Jun-09 20:52:25

i had a mmc and erpc to follow. all fine. didn't want to wait for it to happen naturally as i have dd plus work to think of so couldn't cope with thinking it could just start coming away at any time.

i was then pregnant again 6 months later. no problems, i'm now 20 weeks pregnant.

sunburntats Sat 20-Jun-09 20:54:37

Hello,
Its awful the whole thing so sympathies to you.

I have now had 4 mcs, last one in April just gone.

I have had a medically managed mc and a "natural" mc out of choice.

I made the choice to let nature take its course.
i found out at about 7 weeks that i had a sac but no baby. I wanted to wait, and let it happen naturally because then i would know for sure that this is what is supposed to happen.
I waited, and waited till i got to 13 weeks then it happened. It was shite, shit and more shite. it was painful both emotionally and physically. But a prolonged pain

The last 2 mcs, i had the tablets and pesseries. It was very very painful, BUT over with quickly, with people around me with pain killers and hugs, much less lonely.

Am crying while typing, it is so unfair, so distressing and so utterly crap.

What i am trying to say is that there is no easy way, but whatever you chose to do will be right for you and your body.
hugs to you sweetie.

SuziDee Sat 20-Jun-09 20:56:59

Natalie I am so very sorry for your loss

I had a MMC at 10 weeks in January, decided to go for surgery after 1 week with nothing personally I needed to let go of the pregnancy and was still feeling nauseous with strong pregnancy symptoms so wanted it all over. Usually I am very pro-nature but heard that often you can wait weeks and if it's incomplete you will need surgery anyway.

Happily I am now 12 weeks pregnant so it had no impact on my fertility. Give yourself time and space to think and then make whichever decision is right for you.

Take care of yourself

treacletart Sat 20-Jun-09 21:03:05

So sorry Natalie. I had a missed miscarriage nearly 3 years ago at about 10.5 weeks and went for the erpc surgery. There's no scarring and I got pregnant with DD (now nearly 2 and asleep beside me as I type) the following month. My decision to go for the surgery was the best choice for me phsycologically as I didn't think I was capable of waiting around for the unknown, I had ds to look after too and I knew I wanted to get on with getting pregnant again asap. I was a bit shocked at how little info I got from the hospital mind you - I got very much more support and advice from Mumsnet. Keep strong and best of luck for your next pregnancy.

EldonAve Sat 20-Jun-09 21:06:54

Sorry for your loss

I tried the natural route with my first mmc - it took over a week for the bleeding to start and I had labour like contractions
I ended up having an ERPC anyway as the bleeding didn't stop

2nd time I went straight for the ERPC. No waiting, no pain

If you go for the waiting option you may want to stay fairly close to home or have pads and or spare clothes with you just in case

best of luck with whatever you decide

SheWillBeLoved Sat 20-Jun-09 23:31:07

Sorry for your loss, such a cruel way to lose your baby

I opted for 'medical management'. Was given a couple of pills at the EPU the day after finding out, and admitted for the day 24 hours later for the second lot of pills and monitoring. Bled almost instantly after taking them, and almost everything was 'out' when it was time to go home that evening.

I did consider letting nature take it's course, but I couldn't go on waiting for 'it' to happen any longer than my body already had waited. And I didn't want surgery due to risk of scarring. DP has an impossibly low sperm count and so I didn't want to add to the odds which were stacked against us.

2 years on, I'm now 36 weeks which I never thought would happen

Hope everything is as quick and painless as it can be for you x

jabberwocky Sat 20-Jun-09 23:38:06

I'm so sorry for your loss sad

I had a friend who tried to go the natural route. She eventually had to have the D&C and then wished she had just done it to begin with as the waiting was really hard.

Two family members have gone through this and they both opted for very quick surgical resolution. In fact one of them only just on Tuesday. She said it did seem better that way.

The other one had hers last January and was pregnant 6 months later - I think only a month or two after they started ttc again.

HTH

beanieb Sat 20-Jun-09 23:42:13

Hi there.

I am very sorry to hear your news. I had a medically managed miscarriage at home last Sunday so can give you very recent experience. I had a scan at just under 8 weeks and was told the baby had no heartbeat, followed up by another scan a week later just to confirm.

I decided not to let nature take it's course as I had read that it could take weeks and I really couldn't bear the thought of waiting for what could be weeks - I felt like I might feel better for being in control but I also really didn't want to go down the surgical route.

I'll try to describe exactly what I went to if it will help?

Tamlin Sun 21-Jun-09 09:52:45

I went straight for the ERPC, and it was fine - within twelve hours of diagnosing the missed miscarriage, I was knocked out, and then woke up with some cramping and light bleeding. I spent a day curled around a hot water bottle and some chocolate, and then felt a bit tired and drained for a day or two after that. It was easier (physically) than I'd expected.

I think it does depend how far along you are. I was told that from about nine weeks on, it's more difficult and unpleasant to pass it naturally (and I'll admit that the thought of spending ages cramping, bleeding and throwing up while wondering which clot was my baby did not appeal). There are some risks with the ERPC, though - they can possibly damage the uterine lining permanently, but I gather it's a fairly rare side-effect.

sifuentes Sun 21-Jun-09 11:59:25

I wasn't given a choice and won't bore you here with my whole awful tale. I had it naturally but would always have ERPC if it happened again. Natural is horrendous. Long and painful. IME anyway.

manyhatson Sun 21-Jun-09 16:36:55

I had a mmc last April - found at 10 weeks when I had some very light spotting and went in for a scan. I decided to wait a couple of weeks for the 'natural' route but at that time, booked in for a back-up ERPC just to keep my options open.

Nothing happened for a fortnight and it was very unsettling and difficult emotionally knowing that despite feeling pregnant (and starting to show - this would have been baby #2) I wasn't actually really pregnant.

The day before the ERPC I started cramping and bleeding heavily for about 2 or 3 hours midway through the day. There was a lot of blood, clots and terrific pain so I wondered if that was it. Until the next day (the day of the planned procedure) when it all started again. I went for my planned pre-op scan to see if the sac was out (and therefore whether surgery was still required) and it wasn't out after all. I went straight to day surgery for the op where I waited for my slot for several hours while having the most awful heavy bleeding and 'contractions'. Gees it was totally horrendous particularly as I couldn't have anything to eat or drink and no painkillers either. I went to theatre, had a general and woke up 30 mins later: I recall coming round and saying "thank God, it doesn't hurt any more". If I had another MMC I'd go for the medical route for definite.

Thankfully I fell pg again as soon as we started trying and I'm happy to report that today is baby's due date...! DD1 was delivered by elective c/s with no labour so my only experience of what I've got to come is the pain of the MMC. Despite my negative experience though I'm not dreading it as this time there will be a happy and positive outcome. Miscarrying, of whatever type (and I've had a couple) is all pain and no gain...

beanieb Sun 21-Jun-09 17:38:33

Have to agree. Very painful. As I said I went for a medically managed miscarriage (pills and pessaries) wich is bacically inducing it. It was very painful indeed. Not sure how it compares to a natural miscarriage but I would opt for the surgery if I have to do it again.

shyla01 Sun 21-Jun-09 18:14:07

Hi natalie. Sorry to hear about your mc

I have had 3 mc. The 1st a mmc at 11 wks. Decided to go natural for that one.
Bleedin started a week after the scan an I will be honest and tell you it was horrendous.
I ended up in a & e because I bed so heavily. Ended up havin the 'product' removed by a doctor with no pain relief.
2nd mc was also a natural one at 5wks. Had no choice that one wasn't missed.
When I had the scan for the 3rd mc an there was no hb I decided on the medically managed
option, had it done a week later. Unfortunately it didn't work for me
An I ended up losin it 3 days later at home. It was 4am an I passed out in my bathroom because
I was in so much pain and had bled so much. Thought it was all over when I passed the biggest clot.
Actually felt really good physically the next day. Had the check up scan a week later and that showed retained product.
Ended up having a d&c 2 weeks later.
Although it is completely different for everyone I do feel its best to be honest and tell you I would never opt to have
A mc naturally again. Something I had to consider is the fact that I have 2 dc that I didn't want to see anythging, and
As it happens my dd did walk into the room while I was screaming in pain with the last mc. I never want to go through it again.
The d&c was quick and relatively painless.
The other thing that played on my mind was the fact that my 'baby, was going to be flushed down the loo if I was to mc at home.
also I wanted to ttc as as soon as I could. So waiting was not an option.

Sorry for the long post and I wish you all the best with whatever you decide.
XX

Liskey Sun 21-Jun-09 18:17:02

Sorry to hear that Natalie.

I had a mmc last August after some light bleeding at 6 weeks - and after a second scan at what would have been 9 weeks it was confirmed as a mmc.

I went for the medical management and I found it to be very painful and traumatic - first of all had the tablet then 5 pessaries (ok I was bit naive about them) - and I was in hospital from 9 am and it didn't start happening till 5.30 - it was very painful and upsetting.

I'm now pregnant again at the 10 week stage and if I had to go through it again I think I'd go for the ERPC.

Have you tried speaking to the miscarriage association as well as they are very sympathtic and can help talk about your options?

NatalieDi Tue 23-Jun-09 12:23:36

Thank you so very much, dear mumsnetters!

I just can not tell you how much i needed to talk to somebody about it and get some advice other then - 'it happens, you will be fine eventually'

It is so brilliant that so very many of you have already had children after mc grin or are pregnant. Makes it that crucial bet easier to believe the statistics, when it is real people. Just reading populist medical articles on the internet about how 'over 95% of women carry on to conceive and carry to term after 3 mcs' just did nothing for me. Nothing at all. While your courage is something else entirely!

My head perfectly understands that I will perfectly well get over this and there are much more complex and unfortunate sets of circumstances for some. Emotionally, though.... You support is priceless! You know how it is, you can not quite keep going on about it to your husband as he feels under pressure and slightly guilty as is, and anyway is a MAN - what can THEY possibly know wink. My 13-year old daughter i'd rather protect a little and not show how self-pity and restlessness are perfectly valid behaviours (she will find this out herself, i am sure). Medical profession just does not give a shit. Understandably, since we do not seem to die from mc any more in this time and age.

Will go for surgical, unless it happens before that. Waiting is torture. Is that because we are so addicted to instant gratification? Surely no. Just seems kinder to people around me and myself... Also, to be honest, i'd like this not only to be over asap, but to delegate responsibility to somebody, even a little of it. Let them decide on painkillers, on timings, on the lot. As it is i'm afraid to accept invitations and take my dd out shopping without a bag full of super-pads and co-codamol!

Apologies for the long post...

Last thing, out of the blue remembered a short poem, R Dahl i think, goes approximately like that

As i was going up the stairs
I've met a man who was not there.
Today, i've met him there again.
O, how i wish he'd go away!

beanieb Tue 23-Jun-09 13:52:25

Sending you big Hugs. Hope that things turn out ok for you and that you get pregnant again soon smile

alana39 Tue 23-Jun-09 15:00:40

Natalie good luck now you have made a decision to go for surgery. I had mmc at 8 weeks found at 12 week scan, and waited another 2 weeks with hardly any bleeding before having ERPC anyway - which wasn't at all painful, only used one of the box of co-codamol they sent me home with and only bled for a week afterwards which was no more than a period. If I ever had to make the decision again I'd definitely go for ERPC - but now 21 weeks pregnant so further evidence of light at the end of the tunnel smile

NatalieDi Tue 23-Jun-09 15:42:36

Dear Alana39 - congratulations! Over the first trimester hurdle and over half way as well - this is brilliant! Hopefully, you feel confident enough to just sit back and glow :-) And with the bump proudly showing :-)

Very best of health to both of you!

(thank you for taking time to tell about waiting in vain, helps to re-inforce the decision to go for surgery quite nicely)

sifuentes Wed 24-Jun-09 16:34:27

You have definitely made the right decision. Especially since they give you co-dydramol too. When I was left to have it naturally there was not even a mention of painkillers. Good luck. Even though this way the actual process will be much shorter it does take it's toll on you mentally and emotionally. Be prepared for the hormone crash and be kind to yourself.
xx

Flibbertyjibbet Wed 24-Jun-09 16:55:03

I had mmc at 12 week scan, the baby had stopped developing at 9.5 weeks.
I didn't want to wait possibly weeks for the miscarriage to actually happen so I opted for the medical management with a tablet and pessary which happens in hospital. It was supposed to be a half day procedure.
I went in on the Friday. On the monday morning after 3 days of heavy bleeding and pain, I refused to have any breakfast before I'd seen a doctor as I wanted the surgical option to get it over with.
I was getting really depressed and should have been at home getting over the loss of my baby not on a hospital ward with ladies who were having terminations (which was their choice ok but not what you want to be faced with when losing a much wanted baby).

So I had the erpc that lunchtime and was home 3 hours later.

So from my own experience I am glad to see that you have opted for the surgery - its so much more predictable.

btw it took 12 months to get pregnant again but then had 2 babies within 16 months.

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