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What would you do - DP due to go on holiday when we move house...

(18 Posts)
laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:16:49

I will be 17 weeks pg and dd will be 14 months old.

We are moving house the week he goes and have to clean and paint the house we are in now. He is off to Canada for 2 weeks for a family thing.

I have asked him to cancel as I am feeling v.ill at the mo and there is no guarentee I will feel better by then. Plus in the evenings and at weekends he takes over with dd while I rest.

Should I make him cancel? Or will I be ok then?

whomovedmychocolate Fri 19-Jun-09 20:18:19

You may well feel better by then but why don't you hire a handyman for a day - they don't necessarily cost the earth, so you just have someone to help. If you are feeling better you can do some or cancel him.

I assume you have movers moving the actual stuff?

SazzlesA Fri 19-Jun-09 20:18:23

Message withdrawn

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:20:40

We cant afford movers. His mum is paying for his holiday. He doesnt want to cancel and I am mad with him for not even considering it.

We will have family to help but I get very stressed at the best of times.

I have even asked him to cut it down to 4 days and a big fat no!

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:20:59

We cant afford movers. His mum is paying for his holiday. He doesnt want to cancel and I am mad with him for not even considering it.

We will have family to help but I get very stressed at the best of times.

I have even asked him to cut it down to 4 days and a big fat no!

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:21:22

Oops, didnt think we could double post anymore!

whomovedmychocolate Fri 19-Jun-09 20:23:34

He sounds like a treasure my dear hmm

Okay, what I suggest you do is say to him 'well clearly I can't help as I have to look after our child and the one I'm growing, so I'll be buggering off to my mums/a cheap hotel for a quick holiday, while you arrange for your friends and family to sort it out'.

Silly bugger, thinking you can do it on your own with a tot in toe. hmm

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:25:23

I was planning on going to stay with my cousin for a few days and he was happy for me to do this.

He is usually very nice but when it comes to his family he wont budge!

Im very hormonal at the best of times and I am getting worse. How the hell can I make him change his mind?

Weegle Fri 19-Jun-09 20:26:12

why aren't you being taken on holiday too - that's my first thought

and my second thought is no way would I be okay with this. MAYBE just if I had one child, not pregnant and was not moving with a list of DIY jobs to complete.

At the very least can DP not do the painting before he goes?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 19-Jun-09 20:26:56

selfish git

you can't make him change his mind.

use him being away to get stuff you want for the new house...

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:28:27

I didnt want to take dd on a 10 hour flight. TBH Im glad Im not. We flew with dd when I was 16 weeks pg and I was v.ill on the flights.

He is trying to do everything now so that he can go and I dont have excuse!!

I also hate the fact that he gets a bloody nice holiday and gets to drink when Im at home on my own! I hate men sometimes angry

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:29:04

We have no money for the new house with the new baby on the way otherwise I would use it to my advantage.

Weegle Fri 19-Jun-09 20:33:14

well ground rules are: he does ALL he DIY and house jobs which can be done before he goes, he cooks meals suitable for you and LO before he goes and freezes them, and other suitable pampering ideas... and he owes you at the very least a long weekend away with the girls when new baby is old enough that you're happy to leave them... those would be my conditions! Very reasonable me wink

laurawantsababy Fri 19-Jun-09 20:36:34

Good idea Weegle but dp is no good at diy or painting! I do it all!

I was moving furniture around all throughout my last pregnancy and decorated dd's room when I was 20 weeks pg so dp now thinks this time I will be the same. I might be I know but I just dont know. This pregnancy is so different then with dd.

Aaahhhhh. I just want him to come in and say 'I spoke to mum and its all cancelled' - Dream on!!

Weegle Fri 19-Jun-09 20:42:36

well you're not going to be - simply because you have a young toddler! It's physically impossible.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't be standing for this - DP reckons he's no good at painting or DIY but tough monkies, we're in it together, painting ain't hard. I will do the tricky bits but other than that when I'm pg I expect him to help. We need to decorate a room urgently this weekend (long story) - I have maddening sickness so won't be capable of it, so DH has organised for 2 mates to come over and they are going to blitz it together. Sorry to sound harsh but I think you need to make it clear he needs to fix this problem - if he can't do the job, he needs to organise a way it can be done without it being left to you. Afterall he gets a 2 week holiday as compensation!

Milliemuffin Fri 19-Jun-09 21:52:53

I agree with all the comments - being pregnant with a toddler is not easy (i'm only 12wks and have a 2yo but have seen friends go through it) and you should be resting at every opportunity. I'm sure he wants whats best for you and both his kids and that does not involve diy! he either cancels or he deals with the diy himself but you have enough to deal with, men have no idea do they, aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh.

Milliemuffin Fri 19-Jun-09 21:58:55

Whatever spending money he's planning to take (i'm guessing £200/250 minimum?) why not use that for a painter instead, get it all done and have a cheap night away as a family or have a friend babysit and have a romanic meal out? That way you'll all be happy and you won't resent him so much for being a *********** (so many options to choose from)...

gizzy1973 Fri 19-Jun-09 22:18:55

I would tell hime to take your 14 month old with him and then you can do the bits in the house if you feel like it or if not put your feet up

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