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Potentially controversial RE parents/in laws contributions - is this weird?

(6 Posts)
lastboxoftampons Thu 18-Jun-09 17:53:45

I'm sure this post is going to come off sounding slightly ungrateful and I'll be subject to much flaming....but I'm going to ask opinions anyway.

DH and his brother are twins. Their parents divorced when they were babies. Their mother has gone to great pains to ensure that they both get everything equal - split right down the middle to this day!! It's not really been so much of an issue with their dad - he's in their lives but doesn't really 'provide' for them in the same way IYSWIM. Their Dad bought the cot for brother's first born 2+ years ago. Lovely gesture. Now we're expecting our first in 5 weeks and not once has he ever mentioned/offered, etc to do anything for this LO. I'm not bothered really - no one is obligated to buy anything of course, but I think it's really kind of bothering DH. My parents have already offered to get the pram and his mother is getting the cot, so we're already quite spoiled, so I really don't wnat to sound ungrateful, but do you think it's at all weird that his dad would give one son's first born a major gift but not the other?

thanks for any input, I'm ready for your responses even if you tell me I'm a spoiled brat! smile

TotalChaos Thu 18-Jun-09 17:55:56

might the dad be less well off than 2 years ago. It's unfortunate but I would not waste any mental energy on this one - it's between your DH and his dad really.

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory Thu 18-Jun-09 17:55:59

Perhaps he is going to surprise you?

Weegle Thu 18-Jun-09 17:56:59

I REALLY wouldn't dwell on it. In the grand scheme of things it's tiny and will only cause your DH to feel crap if you do.

Same happened with MIL and cot for nephew... she didn't buy anything for DS. Does it matter? No. Does it mean she feels any differently? No. Just one of those things. And SIL bless her, just gave us the cot (her kids are older) so we benefited that way anyway.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Thu 18-Jun-09 17:57:55

Message withdrawn

heartmoonshadow Fri 19-Jun-09 22:35:48


We don't have divorced parents to contend with but my FIL is a bit strange with his money. He has a daughter with 4 grown up children (youngest is 18 oldest is 25 with baby of her own) anyway I have never wanted any of his money as he uses it to buy affection. My DP has always been the same, but recently we accepted £60.00 for a car seat for our baby (due July) and SIL went into a huff saying we were using him for money. I bit my tongue and said nothing about how they fleece their parents/grandparents. The last thing I know FIL has offered DH £1000.00 to put in a child trust fund when baby is born - I am tempted to take it because it is not for me and in fairness nephews and nieces have had grandparents for a long time, but due to the health and age of PIL this one will get very little time in the grand scheme of things.

The thing is SIL will whinge - but the money is not for us but for our baby!

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