the thing is im not even sure my mum can make it in time for my labour, im thinking about that as a possible outcome, but my mum can not see me in any pain, she will cry her eyes out which is what you dont need in labour.
if my mil gets old of dd, she will kick up a major fuss if my mum comes and takes over, and my mum isnt one for arguments. i have seen mil look after my bil kids, and she is careless and thinks she knows best! yet bil kids have burns from straighteners she was using to do her hair! plus she will feed her rubbish and junk, infact my dd doesnt really like her and cries alot when she is around.
Have you got a DP who could look after your DD? My DH took our son out when I had DD at home, and I gave birth with just the midwives in attendance. I have to say, it was a fantastic experience because I didn't have to worry about anyone else - midwives don't need you reassuring them that you're ok, or not in that much pain really!
How much time have you got, mama2leah? Is there anyone else you could get her more used to (trusted friend with child/neighbour/very good babysitter/childminder), even if it costs money, in the time you've got left?
I know how you feel, cos I'm planning a home birth and all our family are at least 4 hours away. I know I want DP with me, and I'll want to know I don't have to worry about DD at all. My Mum is retired so she's going to come up on X date and stay for as long as it takes (if we don't kill each other first...) but make contingency plans if I go into labour before that date, involving a load of mates, her childminder etc, although it is a bit easier for me as DD is nearly 3.
Do you worry while in labour? I know some people who feel like they 'delayed' their labour until the situation was as they wanted it and they could let it all hang out, whereas others couldn't give two hoots when they were in the thick of it so in the end it didn't really matter who was where. And in all likelihood it will be just for a few hours...
I had the same worry because neither I nor DH have got any family in the UK. I did not feel comfortable with "just anyone" looking after DD1 first and over the years DS2 and 3. I did have DH wth me for DD1 birth but he stayed at home with them when I had the others as it was the only way would have felt confortable. It is not ideal but it was for me the most relaxing choice. If you worry about being on your own for labour and you want Dh to stay with the DCs your mother being with you might be the best option.
(btw, I was never left on my own in hospital, there was always a midwife or a student with me)
I understand how you're feeling because I barely ever leave my almost two yr old, however in all likelihood it will only be for a few hours, and distressing though the prospect may be, even if she cries the whole time (and she won't!) it won't do her any harm in the long term. It doesn't matter if she feeds her junk because it's only one day.
Couldn't you go and stay with your mum in the last couple of weeks, if you're worried she won't get there in time? or couldn't she stay with you?
The other option is to ask a childminder if they'd take her as an emergency case. Then you'd know she was safe, and the childminder would entertain her and soothe her if she wondered where you were etc. One way or another it will be fine!