Unexpected 4th pregnancy - very scared

[somanyboyssolittletime]

Have got 3 DS, and been thinking vaguely about having 4th baby. DH really not very keen on idea, but (ashamed to admit it) I am desperate for a girl. Now I have just discovered I am pregnant (a genuine mix-up with my dates), and I am terribly confused. DH is being lovely and supporting me with whatever decision I make, but I am just not sure I can go through with it. I feel I would be embarrassed to tell people I was having another baby (4 - are you mad?/trying again for a girl?/how will you cope?), but the alternative is not exactly appealing either. Any advice would be welcome - please don't judge me for considering a termination, it certainly wouldn't be a decision taken lightly.

[cazzybabs]

I have just had this...well went for a termination 6 weeks ago but couldn't do it......so am now 12 weeks and still in denial...I am the opposite have 3 girls and would like a boy .

[bargainhuntingbetty]

Sodd what every body else thinks. This is yoou and your dh's lives and only yoou know how you feel and what you want. no one elses opinion should matter and if they havent got the decency to be anything but happy for you then sod them.

At the end of the day it is your decision but you cant make a decision to terminate based on what others will think of you, it has to be done for the right reasons for your family,.

good luck with the decision.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Sorry, but I am a tad confused. You wanted another baby, you are pregnant albeit accidently, and are now considering an abortion.

If you knew the baby was a girl would that change how you feel?

[FabulousBakerGirl]

BTW Ignore other people.

We had one of each when we fell pregnant with our third. People couldn't understand why we wanted another baby when we already have one of each.

[psychomum5]

ignore other people, they are not the ones having the baby, and raising the family.

only you can say if that is what you want, can cope with.

I have been there, and my thoughts were.......

do we have enough room in our hearts (yes)

do we have enough room in the house (yes)

do we have enough room in the car (no, but easily solved)

so we went ahead, and now have FIVE

we had three girls, and I really really hoped for a boy..........now have two, 2yrs apart

I know what I have written was my answers, but it was that simple to me.

I did however get DH to go tell his parents while I ran away went to london for the weekend.....was not THAT BRAVE

[somanyboyssolittletime]

Psychomum - ha ha re the in-laws - I am in the same situation but with my parents!

Lockets and psychomum - how do you get on with your broods?

Thank you for your comments/advice - you have cheered me up anyway!

It's not so much about the sex (of the baby!), as I wanted a girl every time, but absolutely adore my boys, so I know I would love the baby whatever it turned out to be. It's probably more the time I can dedicate to each child, and as I said earlier, everyone elses looks of horror!

[psychomum5]

TBH, when they were small, it was busy and fretful, but I also have a DD with an immune deficiancy (DD3) and she was in and out of hospital a lot when small.

made home easier to juggle tho.......if we were home it was fine as she was well, made me calmer (IYGWIM).

now................wine, sense of humour, and a good routine gets me thru

[psychomum5]

oh,and MN of course.

re 'everyones look of horror'........at least you are still having a fantastic sex life.......you can make 'em all jealous with that!

[somanyboyssolittletime]

Since I can't have the wine, I am off to bed for an early night - it may seem clearer in the morning!

Hope your DD3 is fully recovered now - well done you for coping with all of that.

[psychomum5]

no, tis life-long, but she is not in hospital anymore so all is lots better....thankyou tho

hope you can rest better tonight, even without the wine

[bosch]

TBH I think a lot of people look at you as a bit if a freak/earth mother if you have 3 children. Second what everyone says about ignoring other people's reactions...

I love my three boys and when we decided to have children, I just knew that that was the right number for me.

Having said that I'm the youngest of five and I never thought that I didn't get enough attention. Mum was a bit depressed when she found out she was pg but later got quite poorly and I know it was a big relief to everyone when I turned up well and Mum was OK. Makes me feel like she knew it would be hard work when she found out she was pg but decided that she wanted to keep me after all - which is nice to know

Best wishes with your decision.