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Argh! What to do? What to tell work?!

(24 Posts)
CoffeeAndCarrotCake Mon 08-Jun-09 13:35:44

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have just been to the loo and seen a blood clot sad. I've looked at other threads on here and seen that it isn't always the worst, but obviously want to go to the doctor ASAP to be checked. I haven't yet told work that I'm pregnant though, and have no clue how to explain my sudden need to disappear. I left early last week because DD was really poorly and needed me (which was slightly frowned upon) so reluctant to blame DD again for a fake reason. If I tell the HR woman, she automatically sends an email round to all the senior people here (ie. 50% of the office) which I obviously wouldn't want shock.

I don't know what to do!! Help?!

EyeballshasBackBoobs Mon 08-Jun-09 13:39:12

Is the allowed to do that even if you request that she doesn't? That sounds a bit off, you should be able to tell someone that you need to go due to personal reasons.

I hope it's all ok.

CMOTdibbler Mon 08-Jun-09 13:43:17

Ring your GP and ask for advice on when you could be seen. If they have to ring the EPAU and get an appointment for you it may be that you won't be seen for a couple of days, so it would be a booked Drs appointment.

If you have rapid access EPAU go to HR and tell her the truth, but say that obv in the circumstances you'd appreciate confidentiality and could she report it as sickness.

Our HR were very sensitive when I had my mcs

Ninjacat Mon 08-Jun-09 13:56:20

If in doubt claim VandD and make a quick exit. No one should question a contagious stomach bug too much.

ceebie Mon 08-Jun-09 14:11:21

I just said I wasn't well and left. Actually, no I didn't, I just left in a bit of a rush (saying I had to pop out for a bit) and later phoned to say I wasn't well. Whether they wanted more explanation or not, they didn't get it. Probably not the best way of going about things but I just did what I had to do. In the end I had 5 sick days off, and I eventually decided to tell my office manager the actual reason in confidence as I knew I could trust her and I also knew that she would put a stop to anyone else gossiping.

I really feel for you, it's a horrible and worrying situation to be in. You shouldn't have to tell anyone the nature of your medical reason if you don't want to. However if there is someone you trust whom you feel that it would be of benefit to confide in, maybe they could help?

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Mon 08-Jun-09 14:33:40

Thank you all! Have phoned hospital local to my office and they just said to come straight in! Am used to my GP telling me to take an asprin and wait 2 weeks for an appointment, so am amazed. Leaving now - will tell HR woman I have a hospital appointment and hope she lets me leave it at that. Fingers very very tightly crossed about scan....

EyeballshasBackBoobs Mon 08-Jun-09 15:00:36

Good luck, hope it's good.

winjy Mon 08-Jun-09 15:21:59

good luck let us know how u get on x

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Mon 08-Jun-09 20:47:18

Thanks for your support. I got to the hospital and waited 3 hours - there were SO many women coming in because they were bleeding in early pregnancy sad. Anyway, they took blood and gave me an appointment for a scan tomorrow morning. The possibility of it all going wrong just doesn't seem real at the moment. I so so so regret telling people about the pregnancy now. sad Something tells me tonight is going to be a very long night....

winjy Mon 08-Jun-09 20:53:24

i totally sympathise with you...iv had a week of hormone tests, one this morning that my doctor promised she ring me about tonight to give me half still waiting and quite annoyed to be honest. means iv got to wait all night, try and get an appointment tomorrow until i get any answers angry

sorry to be so self indulgent...did they say anymore to you at the hospital?

blinder Mon 08-Jun-09 21:04:43

thinking of you Coffee sad. Until the scan you can't know anything. Hope you manage to relax and get some rest. Fingers and toes crossed for you!

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Tue 09-Jun-09 09:07:26

sad loads more bleeding this morning. Have got scan in a couple of hours, but really not holding out much/any hope. I keep thinking about DD though, and telling myself that if Someone Up There had to make a decision to let only one of either DD or the little bean survive, then I'm very very grateful for the decision he came to.

Gromit78 Tue 09-Jun-09 09:28:16

Oh I do hope and pray it is not the worst news for you Coffeeandcarrotcake. Have you got stomach cramps as well?

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Tue 09-Jun-09 09:45:07

Thanks Gromit. No, I haven't, and I know from reading past threads on here that people have had worse bleeding and the baby has survived, but it really does not look at all good.

Nekabu Tue 09-Jun-09 10:12:12

Fingers crossed for you here too.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Tue 09-Jun-09 13:20:08

Thanks. No good though. sad Meant to be 8 weeks, but no heartbeat and only the size of 4-5 weeks. Gutted. Have come home now to spend the rest of the day/week with DD.

blondissimo Tue 09-Jun-09 13:34:49

Oh, really sorry Coffee sad. Hope you are ok and have got some support. Are you able to get someone else to tell the people you have told about the pregnancy?
There is nothing worse than having to explain things to people as they gleefully ask how you are.
Lots of support on here for you though. Thinking of you x

Nekabu Tue 09-Jun-09 13:46:28

Really sorry to hear that ...

blinder Tue 09-Jun-09 16:08:10

Glad you can be with DD. Dont forget to take as much time off as you need. sad

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Tue 09-Jun-09 18:16:54

Thank you all. I called my mum and sister, but texted the friends who I'd stupidly told too early. They were all lovely and offered to do anything, but there's absolutely nothing anyone can do really is there? Well as MIL says, everything happens for a reason. Fingers crossed for next time...

Thanks again x

dal21 Tue 09-Jun-09 18:22:34

Coffee am truely sorry. sad.

winjy Tue 09-Jun-09 18:44:12

thats awful coffee my heart and thoughts go out to you...x

Northernlurker Tue 09-Jun-09 18:48:27

So sorry to read this. Have you been back in touch with work yet - how did that go?

orangehead Tue 09-Jun-09 18:52:34

Im really sorry coffee, thinking of you

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