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Does anyone get offered a seat on public transport?!

(61 Posts)
shoesies Sat 23-May-09 12:17:10

I'm approaching four months and although I'm not huge, there's a definate baby bump there! I have a daily tube journey and was wondering if anyone else gets totally ignored on public transport!!! Maybe it's just London where making eye contact is just not done....

Also, it's only ever women that have asked me if I want to sit down - do you think women are just more on the ball?!

Or am I making a fuss about nothing? I actually don't really mind in the mornings but after a days work and my backs aching it's nice to be offered a seat!

Maybe we should start a designated carriage on the Victoria line for bumps.... smile

thumbwitch Sat 23-May-09 12:21:46

I was offered a seat when I was more pg than you are now - but I find it tends to be the older ladies and gentlemen who offer, who are often in as much need of the seat themselves! Sometimes younger women do but the least likely people to give up their seat ime are the younger men and the teenagers.

on another note, do you know that you are entitled to pee on the train if you are pg? Perhaps, if someone is sitting in one of those "please give this up to someone more in need than you" seats and refuses to move, you could muster a wee onto their shoes! grin

shoesies Sat 23-May-09 12:34:32

Well when I think of all those times I've rushed home absolutely desperate and I could have just peed on the train....! grin

RenderMeSpeechless Sat 23-May-09 14:00:27

I certainly do get offered seats on the bus/train.... maybe it's the nice area I live in, or more likely the fact that I have a young toddler in tow and an unhinged look in my eye

mcflumpy Sat 23-May-09 14:14:48

I'm 35 weeks take public transport every day to and from work, live in a lovely place, get more or less pushed out of the way every day in order for others to get on first, always get a seat but only because there are lots available.

Some guy nearly walked over the top of me the other day to get ahead of me to his car even though he's seen me at the station every day getting bigger and bigger (not many people get on at my station).

Just hope when their wives or girlfriends are pregnant, they find more considerate commuters!

weeing on their shoes.....now there's an idea, I can wee on demand these days too!

So looking forward to mat leave....

lupa Sat 23-May-09 14:21:40

26 weeks and still not been offered a seat once. Young men are the worst - totally oblivious. Hope all their girlfriends get pregnant soon. Having to go to work early and leave early to avoid rush hour.

However, have also noticed that people get really uppity if you don't sit down, even if the only seat is at the other end of the bus and you're only going one stop...sigh.

Baisey Sat 23-May-09 15:24:42

I was never offered a seat until, strangely enough, AFTER I'd had my DS. Very bizarre.

notcitrus Sat 23-May-09 15:41:15

I was offered seats before I knew I was pregnant - must have looked like death warmed up.
I never waited, I just went to the priority seats and said "excuse me, could I sit down please?" Worked every time (until I got a walking stick which was fantastic at getting epople to move)

Even at 8 months I think people would be scared to assume I was pregnant.

I never had to try it, but one day on the train a woman yelled "I need to sit down as otherwise I'm going to faint or throw up and delay your journey loads!" You've never seen people shuffle round a packed train so fast...

BlameItOnTheBogey Sat 23-May-09 16:28:50

What Baisey said. I never get offered a seat when pregnant (and once got shouted at for asking) but I now commute in with my one year old every day and people have been unbelievably nice. I get offered a seat most days (weird because he is in the pushchair) and people are so, so kind. People of the Jubilee line, I love you all.

My conclusion is that no matter how obvious it is that you are pregnant (I was a size six and looked like I had a balloon up my top), people are scared of making a mistake. A child in a pushchair is unambiguous.

audreyraines Sat 23-May-09 16:50:53

lol notcitrus, i've also had to politely ask for a seat, "because i am probably going to vomit unless i sit down now"

it's always women who have most likely had children who are likely to give up seats IMO. i guess they are hte only ones who really understand what it's like.

raggie Sat 23-May-09 18:54:00

Shoesies (and everyone else who's interested!) try contacting TFL as they have these badges I saw a pg woman wearing the other day - they are the Underground logo with 'baby on board' in the middle instead of the tube stop. Apparently too many people are worried about offending women who they aren't really sure are pregnant! I'm on the hunt for one by emailing these guys:

babyonboard@tube.tfl.gov.uk

KatyS36 Sat 23-May-09 19:08:59

Hi all,

I've found the following works spectacularly well: Approach area where number of men are sitting (aged 30-40 works well) and then say, 'I'm so sorry to ask, but I'm pregnant and would anyone mind letting me sit down?' I've always had someone jump up immediatly and I've always followed it up with a smile and thankyou.

Whilst it would be nice to be offered unprompted, as this doesn't tend to happen I've gone for the above as what I really want is to sit down.

Good luck

Longtalljosie Sat 23-May-09 19:11:50

I got mine by calling 0845 330 9880. They post it to you.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But people do notice it, so when you ask them to give up their seat, they move with a guilty expression on their faces.

I agree with shoesies though - the people who are by far most likely to get up are young women. Men... not a hope.

notcitrus Sat 23-May-09 21:09:58

Men with their girlfriends always get up!

duchesse Sat 23-May-09 21:30:29

I commuted until 38 weeks for an hour each way into London from the Home counties when expecting child 1. Going in was fine because I got on early on the line. Going back was a nightmare because I got on at Clapham Junction and the train was usually packed. I was not small by then, must have looked really quite tired, yet I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I was offered a seat. Even with my bump at eye level, it was invisible. Bastards.

mrswee Sat 23-May-09 21:30:50

I have SPD and so Ive taken to sitting in the seats at the start of the bus that are 'priority for the elderly and infirm'
I have quite an obvious bump but still get those disapproving looks from a lot of the elderly people sitting around me that mean I shouldn't be sitting in their seats!! .....Even though a few of them a more of spring in their step than I do in my hobble right now!! wink

kitstwins Sat 23-May-09 22:15:29

Not pregnant now but when I was (with twins) I got offered a seat every time I travelled, except once. I commuted every day (piccadilly line to work and back) so I think I was very lucky. I got my first seat offered at 14 weeks, by which point I had a definite bump (twins, so I must have looked around the equivalent of 20 weeks with a singleton).

I used to stand there dreamily rubbing my tummy so it must have been fairly obvious I was pregnant. That and the continual munching of jacobs crackers (anti nausea - worked a treat) was a bit of a giveaway. I now tell all my pregnant girlfriends to rub their tummies as it's a bit of a good sign that you're pregnant. Most people can be a bit scared to presume JUST IN CASE so if someone's constantly rubbing their bump it makes it easier.

I always found men were totally charming and they tended to be the young ones. In fact, I found everyone incredibly polite. Maybe it was because I was walking around with a constant grin PLASTERED all over my face (IVF pregnancy, twins - I was ecstatic the whole time I was pregnant) but I found people were really helpful and kind. The only time I didn't get offered a seat I was wedged on a very crowded tube where people would have been hard-pressed (literally) to see the white of my eye, never mind my stomach.

My top tipe for a seat on the tube then: rub your tummy constantly with a dreamy smile on your face. You look a bit mad but people get the message.

K

BikeRunSki Sat 23-May-09 23:55:39

When I was 6 months pg, about this time last year, a lady with a buggy told me off for not offering her my seat on a crowded train. My bump was compact, but not invisible.

staylucky Sun 24-May-09 00:42:26

Nah, never. Rotters.

People in other everday areas of life are lovely though. People at work fetching me water and reaching things for me, opening doors, all that good stuff.

My boyf is completely loving the whole vunerable lady thing and has been an absolute hero. I'm quite grumpy with myself that i've been quite wiped out a lot this time round and have had to take naps and neglect the house a bit. But he's been ace grin

I don't expect strangers to give a crap even though I would always try and help someone else out [humm]

Jackaroo Sun 24-May-09 01:01:43

It depended, on the underground I could usually guilt someone into giving me their seat by giving them a paddington bear hard stare... but on buses it was awful.

I felt most miserable when the special seats were taken up by mature ladies reading the bible (very common where I live), which seemed so hypocritical to me. None of them could've been over 50, and they obviously thought they were the model of piety, but pity they didn't practise what they were learning. I often got offered a seat by young men, but always obvious recently immigrants, rather than "english" men. So presumably in their countries they had higher standards/better regard for pg. women!

Most gobsmacking moment was more or less running for a bus at 8 months, for the bus driver to look me straight in the eye, and close the doors as I got to him. Actually that happened twice.

SabsBigPants Sun 24-May-09 01:55:00

I use public transport in London to commute to work (am 22 weeeks pregnant) and have changed overground train journeys so that I can get a seat. But when I did have to use the tube (central line) during rush hour, my friend rushed over to a guy and demanded asked this middle aged man to give up his seat for me, before i even got onto the train, never mind have a chance to see my bump! He wasnt very happy about being asked but got up anyway.

DeathbyDora Sun 24-May-09 02:33:38

I remember being on the District line and one wanker actually tutted at me and gave me a filthy look because my bump was preventing him from opening his newspaper up fully!! hmm

Accidentally stomped on his foot as I was getting off and smiled sweetly at his furious expression. I was the size of a small rhinoceros by then so am hoping it really hurt!

hf128219 Sun 24-May-09 07:00:18

I worked up to 36 weeks - seats offered left right and centre. Usually by black or asian guys - are they more family conscious?

curlywurlycremeegg Sun 24-May-09 07:52:45

I have noticed a big difference in peoples attitudes since my first pregnancy 14 years ago. I am now t+10 and still not getting any preferential treatment, standing in a que at the post office or suppermarket huffing and puffing doesn't seem to work with queue jumping any more!

foxinsocks Sun 24-May-09 08:17:27

I must be honest as a regular train/tube commuter and say that quite often I can't tell if someone is pregnant or just err tubby blush and I don't want to offend.

Certainly a 4 month bump shoesies, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between err a larger woman and a bump.

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