Mrs Moc's Major Placenta Previa

[MrsMoc]

Hi Cazza

Setting up my own thread as you have suggested * Thanks *

Things are looking up a little for me.

I have reached 29 weeks today and Dr's think the scans have shown an improvement.

I still have major placenta previa and there is no hope of the placenta moving, but the seperation I had has now healed.

The baby is lying transverse which is good also as there is no pressure on the placenta.

The plan is still to hopefuly have me at home until 34 weeks then readmit me to the antenatal ward.

As you now from previous threads, my DH who is a recovering alcoholic was drinking while I was in hospital when he was minding the 3 other kids we have.

He has since sworn that this wont happen again, but I would never trust his word on this.

My own personal plan is only to go into hospital if I bleed and to go home as soon as bleeding stops.

Of course I have no way of knowing what will happen with my pregnancy, but im trying to be positive, follow the Dr's orders and pray there is a god up there who will look after us all.

[Cazzaben]

Mrsmoc... Thanks for setting up your own thread... Just means things won't get bypassed if you know what I mean!!! It also means that you can write here whenever you want and rant and rave or ask advice or just get things off your chest. Sorry if i being too personal but when I read your post I felt compelled to talk to you.
Good news the separation has fixed itself. Not so good bout the MPP . I know how you feel I went through it in 2007-2008. DS2 was born 16th April 2008 I spent 3 months in hospital... anyway

This must be a really terrifying time for you. Having such an awful pregnancy complication and having your DH's alcohol relapse. Was he just drinking for that short time while you were in hospital? or have you noticed that he's been drinking since you've been home.

Can I ask do you have any family around that could help you out?? From experience I know my DH really struggled while I was in hospital. I believe they need lots of support I can understand why he would turn to what would be his vice in such complicated circumstances.
On the other hand here you are trying to be mum and wife and pregnant lady with problems.
Can I ask how did DH get help the first time?? Did he go through the GP or through a rehab programme?? Does he still get support??
I guess I'm just worried that if you end up in hospital again then he'll turn back to drinking...
Keep posting mrsmoc take care and look after yourself xxxxxxx

[Cazzaben]

Oh and by the way... I know that there is a god up there looking after you

I will pray for you and put you on the prayer lists where I am xxxxxxxx

[MrsMoc]

Thanks Cazza, all prayers are greatly appreciated at the moment lol.

DH has been battling with alcohol the 14 years I have been with him. He has tried rehabs & AA, but as soon as he is sober a while he doesn't feel the need to keep getting their support. Something I believe indicates this problem will never really go away.

It turned out he had been drinking quite a lot of beer when the kids were in bed and holding it together during the day. When I unexpectedly got out of hospital, he tried to wean himself off by drinking a glass or 2 of vodka at night while I was sleeping.

Communication broke down between us after I discovered this and we have only started speaking to each other again since yesterday.

I think he was happier sleeping on the sofa so he could still maintain some drinking. He is incapable of being honest about anything regarding alcohol.

Both our mums live within 5 minutes and help out loads during the day, I think his main problem is at night and he is under the illusion he can control it.

It certainly will make things difficult if and when I beed again, as there is no way im allowing him to drink around our children.

We have talked about this yesterday and I heard all the familiar promises which I have no faith in, so im unsure how things will go. Our eldest is 14 and would know if he was drinking, and hopefully keep an eye on things and contact my mum if needed.

Im sorry you also went through the MPP, how did yours turn out in the end? The uncertainty with this condition is so frustrating.

[Cazzaben]

Hi Mrsmoc hope you had a good day...

Sounds like you have got a good support network around you. Thats always a positive thing. I guess 14 years is a long time to have something like alcoholism. Have you suggested going back to AA? This is a very trying time for a family without all that pressure. Its such a shame that this has made him turn back to drinking.
Also a good thing that your 14yr old will be able to see if anything is going on when your not around.

Im a very lucky MPP sufferer I went into hospital at 29 weeks after a big bleed and stayed in til the end. Leaving my 2yr old at home It didnt move at all and I had an elective section at 38+3. I had a GA too which wasn't nice but considering they had to cut through the placenta to get him out it went well. I lost only 1 litre of blood during my section I think my worst memory was having the drains removed from either side of my scar. If that ever happens to you ask for the Gas and air!!!! I had so many people praying for me and I do believe that someone was looking after me!!
I'll pray that you have no more bleeding and you only have to be in hospital for as short a time as possible...

Take care xxxxxxxx

[MrsMoc]

Hi Cazza

Now that i have calmed down with regards to finding the vodka bottle, I can understand and appreciate he was very stressed at the time. While I was in hospital our 8 YO daughter was also rushed into hospital with a perforated appendix. She had the operation to have them removed and then spent 3 days after her operation deteriorating and developed a bowel problem. All of this sorted itself out and she was home after 10 days. He says around this time he began drinking to cope with the stress.

While I can understand his point, he cant turn to drink at every problem, not when he has children to put first.

I cant tell him to go to AA, that needs to be his decision, I do sometimes go to alanon though I had hoped this problem was settling down. I now im lucky with a very supportive family and he has came a long way from the days he drank round the clock.

I can understand how hard it must have been to eave your 2 YO, I found it so difficult to leave my 16 MO.

The Dr's felt that my scan on Tuesday indicated blood loss was unlikely between now and 34 weeks, after that it will depend on the scans, which I have now every week.

Im not going to worry about being readmitted at 34 weeks just yet, I have a possible 5 weeks at home which I am going to make the most of and enjoy.

The threat of massive bleeding/dying is hanging over my head though and I am having nightmares every night. I try not to think about it but in my head I constantly seem to be reliving/analysing all the things the dr's have said, as if im trying to make sense of it all.

[MrsMoc]

Well looks like things aren't so good. I took a bad bleed last night at 3 in the morning and took an ambulance to hospital. I was kept in the delivery suite until 12 today and im now back in the antenatal ward. I've been told im here for the duration, though i've been told that before.

I feel gutted, I didnt see this coming and was becoming a little confident that things would be okay. I seemed to lose a lot of blood last night, but it eased off around 6. I thought they were going to have to do an em. CS.

My little girl is making her first holy communion tomorrow morning, which I will now miss, but I have to be thankful this LO was not delivered last night.

Im feeling devastated though as everything is so unsure again.

[frillysquiff]

Hello MrsMoc just wanted to say that although you are feeling down at the moment, remember to pat yourself on the back for holding on to your little one for another night and avoiding the emergency c-section. You've made it through the night and you're off the labour ward, so you are back under obs and out of immediate danger for now x Your plan may be to go home as soon as the bleeding stops, but apparently the risk of another big bleed wthin 48 hours of the first is very high, so if you can, please stay put for a couple of days.

I really feel for you missing your little girl's holy communion tomorrow and you must be so unhappy at the thought that you might be in for the duration now, although you're hoping that's not the case I know. I found Rek's thread last week and have seen your posts there and on the other PP thread.

I'm Grade 4 Major Placenta Praevia, 30+5, have been hospitalised twice so far with bleeds - at 27+5 and at 29wks for 3 days at a time. I've been told I could bleed again at any time. I can share in the uncertainty you are feeling although I'm 'safe' for the time being at home (felt safer in hospital tbh) I'm a ticking time bomb.

Unlike you I don't have any kids at home though, nor do I have the difficulties you're facing with your DH.

I think it was a great suggestion Cazzaben for MrsMoc to set up her own thread, as she is clearly in a very troublesome place at the moment.

Will be following your posts to see how you are getting on and rooting for you and litteMoc. xxxx Lyns

[MrsMoc]

Thanks Lyns for your post, I have spoke to a Dr who has said there is no way im going home, she reckons each bleed will most likely be heavier than the last and the risk would be too high.

They are very good at putting you on a guilt trip here, asking me to think of the baby before making any decisions.

I have agreed to stay put for a few days at least, Im having a scan on Monday/Tuesday. I am still bleeding now though its only a trickle at the moment, but this totally takes away any negotiation im trying to make at the moment. My thoughts are I got here safely last night, I only live 10 minutes away, and I really need to be at home. I could be here weeks without another bleed as well.

I know the ticking timebomb feeling, sometimes I feel like a car crash waiting to happen and its scary. Im surprised they have allowed you home after 2 bleeds, I had to fight to get home last time and even then it was because I lived close and was more for my mental health than anything else.

I really hope you are one of the lucky ones Lyns and have no more bleeds, it does happen for some. I think I have read every piece of literature and case stories the internet offers on this subject.

[frillysquiff]

Morning MrsMoc, how are thing today? Thinking of you missing your daughter's holy communion this morning and sending positive thoughts your way.

I was told the same thing by my consultant - expect the bleeds to become more frequent and heavier but I've been out 9 days now and nothing so far so fingers x-ed.

No, you won't be going anywhere if you're still trickling. I think the only way I managed to get out each time was because the bleeds cleared up fairly fast, by the morning after I didn't have anything coming out on pads, only when I wiped. (1st time I lost 2 blood clots the size of pencil cases, 2nd bleed I lost mostly blood - around 225ml).Have been told to expect to be kept in for longer next time and to be prepared to receive an invitation (how nice!) to stay in for the duration towwards the end, even if I don't experience more bleeds. I think it depends on your consultant as another lady with MPP in my hospital was kept in for 1 week, let out for 1 week before she bled again, kept in for another 2 weeks and then delivered by planned c-section at 34 weeks. There's another case study for your collection

10 minutes isn't too bad at all, although if you were to have the dreaded 'catastrophic' bleed which I've read can happen then I can see why the hospital staff are putting pressure on you to stay, not just for the baby's sake, but for yours too. Guilt tripping just isn't on though, you have enough on your plate without being made to feel guilty. Each doctor/midwife/nurse will have a different opinion on how long you should be kept in -it's what your consultant says that is important. Do you know when you are next going to see him/her?

[MrsMoc]

Hi Lyns

Im seeing my consultant in the morning and will be having a scan tomorrow as well, hopefully that will provide the basis for me getting out. I guess I have it in my head that I was told I could stay home till 34 weeks, I know the bleed probably changes all that but im still going to argue my case.

My DD came down to visit me, which left me a bit tearful, she was beautiful. I felt robbed of my role in preparing and helping her dress for today but my MIL took over (as usual) I know I should be grateful to her but she has been trying to take over this day before I was even diagnosed with MPP, so I cant help feeling a bit bitter.

On another note, DH has been visiting and he doesn't seem to have been drinking the night before which is a huge relief. I have told him if I suspect he has been drinking, I will walk straight out of here, hopefully thats enough to make him think twice if he's tempted.

My bleeds seem to last 24 hours before turning to brown staining. Im still trickling bright red, though its less frequent.

I thought I was going to have the catastrophic bleed on Friday night, it was really heavy to begin with.

I have witnessed a catastrophic bleed on my last stay here. A girl due the day after me took a massive bleed and was in the ward at the time, she lost 4.5 litres of blood, had 4 blood transfusions and had a CS at 25 weeks, baby was 1 lb 4 oz. We had made good friends before this happened we and still keep in touch.

Doctors told me not to worry too much as things like that happened once every 5 years. It still left me feeling haunted.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for us both.

Angela xx

[Cazzaben]

Just thought I would catch up to see how your doing Mrsmoc and Im gutted to read that you've had a bleed...
Missing your DD's Holy communion must be awful...
I can't believe your having this awful luck (good that you kept LO in there though...

Will be back later just gotta bath the boys xx

[MrsMoc]

Hi Cazza, good to hear from you again.

I have just spoken to the conultant who has said if the scan is good then I may be able to go home in a couple of days. She also said it may not be worth my while, as I will likely be back quite soon.

Its hard to know though if im just being fobbed off again, I noticed she didnt write that down in my notes.

I will update later afer my scan.

[Cazzaben]

Cool will be thinking of you today... Hoping that the scan goes ok.
Its always worthwhile going home even if its for a few days and going back... Its the worst thing in the world to not go back for a long period of time.

Will check later on xxx

[MrsMoc]

Well my scan was good, no sign of seperation and baby is now head down which may have sparked the bleed. There is apparently no way of knowing though as I keep thinking "what did I do wrong"

Bumped into the consultant on her way home who then denied all knowledge of telling me I could go home, she insists she said "we'll see". She has agreed to come see me in the morning and discuss it.

I feel pretty confident I will be going home tomorrow night, I can be demanding when I need to be lol.

[Cazzaben]

Well good news again Mrsmoc...
Lets hope the consultant will let you go. I remember having a very similar conversation with my consultant when I was in... Funny how they can backtrack very quickly!

You cannot blame yourself for bleeding either Mrsmoc. If its going to happen then it will happen. You can do the best you can to relax and rest but it is not anything you can control...
Glad that you and DH had a chat bout the drinking thing. I really hope he can keep to his word about it being a one off...

Thinking of you all the time and praying every day xxxxxxx

[MrsMoc]

Well im home, though its not in good circumstances.

DD phoned late last night to say DH was drinking.

Consultant seen me today and said I couldn't go home.

So basically signed myself out of hospital and told DH to get lost.

He disappeared for an hour and came back smelling of drink, but not drunk and is upstairs refusing to go anywhere.

Im feeling so stressed atm.

Just got kids bathed and sent to bed and trying to relax on the sofa.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day and the prayers start kicking in, the last thing I need now is another bleed.

My mum and MIL have said they will mind the kids between them.

I know I really need DH here but he's no use to me if he's drinking, I really wish he would just go!!

[Cazzaben]

Oh mrsmoc... What a crappy crappy day you've had....

Thats not good at all. Worst of all your DH drinking and 2nd you've signed yourself out of hospital.
Have you spoken to the consultant about your home situation...???
This may sound completely out of line and please tell me if I am... Mrsmoc I know the siutation in your home life is an absolute nightmare with your DH's drinking and you want to be at home looking after the other children and your home. But the condition you have is so lifethreatening if you started to bleed heavily...
The placenta pumps around a litre of blood a minute... We have 7 litres in our body... Do you see what I'm trying to say??? Yes you may not bleed again but as you have had a few already the chances of it happening again are quite high. The more bleeds you have the heavier they generally get.
Please think about yourself and if it really is worth being at home...
I really do understand your dilema... I wish that I could do something or say something more helpful to you. the next few weeks seem like an impossible amount of time.

I cant seem to find the right words for you hun and Im so sorry that you are going through this... Its just not fair...

Is there any way you can maybe stay with your mum or anyone coming over to talk to him for you??? xxxxx

[MrsMoc]

I know what im doing is risky but I dont feel I have much choice. Im also feeling so confused and upset atm im not really sure I even know what im doing.

I know I will take another bleed, I can sense it I think. I dont live far from the hospital.

Im hoping DH sorts himself out soon.

Im going to be spending everyday with my mum, and in the evenings if anything happens I will phone an ambulance.

TBH im terrified now, the last bleed was heavy and I dont fancy another which may be heavier again.

[Cazzaben]

Oh bless you... I've just sent a mail to everyone to pray for you...
I don't know anyone else who needs a miracle more than you right now Angela.
I hope you get it too...

where is DH now?? is he still upstairs? I know how frightened you must be. Just keep that phone by you al the time so you can call 999 quick. Is your mum going to be there in the nightime too?? (just in case something happens with DH)
xxxxx

[MrsMoc]

DH is upstairs snoring, so looks like the sofa for me tonight. Im keeping the phone with me at all times. If I bleed in the night and DH is not here, I will phone an ambulance and then waken DD to keep an eye on things till my mum gets here.

The next time im in hospital if DH is not in AA then the kids will be staying with my mum.

Thank you fo the prayers, they mean alot. xx

[Cazzaben]

Take care of yourself... I'll check on here tomorrow to see how you are xxxx

[Cazzaben]

Hello Angela...

How are you feeling today? Sorry I haven't been on all day work is so busy at the moment and my boys just seem to run riot when were home!!!

Anyway... To be honest I was hoping to see something from you on here today ...
I hope your ok??? I'm very worried and praying your ok. I haven't stopped thinking about you all day. I spoke to my DH about the situation too... He can't believe what your going through...

Please let me know your ok?? Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[MrsMoc]

Hi Cazza

Im fine, I have been out most of the day trying to catch up on things and took DD to the dentist. I also went with my mum and other DD to get our groceries.

I know I shouldn't be doing any of these things but the alternative would have been to stay in the house with DH who I cannot bear to even look at.

So far I refuse to even speak to him!!!

I had a horrible night last night and found it hard to sleep, I dont have the confidence I had the last time I got home. At one stage I thought I was taking another bleed when I felt alot of liquid run out of me, but it was pink rather than bright red and was a one off. I have a continious brown loss which I was told was normal but still freaks me out.

I have had a minimum of conversation with DH, who feels that I am over reacting regarding his drinking.

I feel so cross, Im consoling myself with thoughts of leaving him for good when this nightmare is over, I feel so let down.

Im going to have an early night tonight with my book, as I have barely slept the last 2 nights.

I hope things are well with you and your family.

Im trying to hold it together but constantly feel on the verge of tears.

Angela xx

[MrsMoc]

Well I had another crappy nights sleep, I seem to have a panic come over me at night worrying that I wll wake up bleeding.

My last bleed had lots of clots, which I passed in the toilet, I keep remembering the sensation of them.

Also had a horrible row with my soon to be ex husband.

He doesnt seem to acknowledge what im going through or how I feel.

I know he understands how serious it is, but I dont think he has stopped to think, maybe im not dealing with it very well. I dont understand how he can give me all the extra grief on top of the pressure im already feeling.

I really dont think our marriage will survive this.

His lack of support is bad enough but to add to an already stressful time is just to much.

And he had the blatant cheek to tell me last night he wants a divorce lol.

My plan for today is to stop crying, pull myself together and start thinking positively. Im going to go back to alanon as well.

[frillysquiff]

Hello Angela, sorry I disappeared. I was back in hospital Sunday night, two bleeds at 9pm and 4am - the smallest I've had so far but was kept in for observation 'til yesterday.

I have a few things to say and ask which I hope you don't mind, as what I've read has got me worried. Now that you're at home you are not feeling the safety net of the hospital so it's not suprising that you are worried sick waiting for the next bleed. This is what I felt like when I got out last time so I know how you feel on that one. Since you discharged yourself though, you must be feeling even more worried as the hospital haven't condoned your leaving.

And the added stress of having to deal with your DH - it's the last thing you need at a time like this. Is there any way that your or DHs mum can have the kids so you can stay in hospital without having to worry about what's happening with the kids under his care ? These next few weeks are vital for your LO - but in the the grand scheme of things it's only a few weeks. Just take it day by day to get through - you and your LO are priority and if your DH can't see that, you are best staying away from him. Hospital really sounds like the best place, not just for the LO, but for you as well. I am well aware though that as I don't have kids it's easy for me to say this. Especially when going back to your post on Sunday it sounds as though you are worried about DHs mum taking over a little.

On the PP side of things, has your consultant laid out a 'plan' for you? My consultant has and it's this - Each time I bleed I am to go in to hospital and won't be let out until the hosp have observed me to be bleed free for 48 hours. If I lose more than 400ml of blood or if I trickle blood over a long period then an emergency c-section may be considered (my guess is that as you have continued to trickle, that's why they are keen to keep you in). Obviously if there's a catastrophic bleed then an EMC is inevitable. If possible I will be managed as an outpatient for the next few weeks. If I can get to 34-36 weeks I may have a 'semi-planned' section if I have a big bleed around this time, but otherwise the baby is to be delivered by c-section at 38 weeks- July 7th to be exact.

Now that I have this plan I feel much more confident - well for the time being anyway! I know it could all be turned on it's head. I just think that you deserve to have this as well, but it doesn't sound as though you are getting it.

Take care. Sending positive thoughts your way.

lyns x