I feel so ashamed. I am 35 weeks pregnant and absolutely dreading the birth of my child and the first few months of its life. I was utterly delighted to get my bfp and have sailed through my pregnancy without any problems. But now, with just weeks to go, I think it is all a huge mistake. How can this be when I've wanted a baby since I was 15, and now, at 35, so many of my friends are experiencing the abject misery of infertility?
I am obsessed with the idea that I will have a colicky baby who will never settle, that the sleep deprivation will lead me into severe PND, that I will be 2 stone or more overweight; that I will struggle with breastfeeding and contract mastitious. I foresee a life of loneliness ahead, with DH pursuing his old interests and career opportunities and me being stuck on my own with a demanding child and no life and giving up my all my career ambitions. DH and I have not had sex during my entire pregnancy. I don't even fancy him anymore, even though I am fond of him and respect him as a person. I know he fancies other women and the fact is, it doesn't even bother me. I am fantasising about leaving him and living alone - even it's only around the corner. However, I know that that will mean i will find the first few months even more terrible, without any time to cook for myself or even bathe, just attend to this screaming baby.
Why am i feeling all this now, when just a few weeks ago I was hosting a baby shower and cooing over babygros and planning a christening? Is it hormones? Has anybody else experienced this?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
Is it normal to dread the first few months of your first born's life?
19 replies
bellaball · 16/04/2009 23:09
OP posts:
greenelephant ·
16/04/2009 23:14
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
greenelephant ·
16/04/2009 23:15
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
TheHedgeWitchIsNAK ·
17/04/2009 06:08
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.