Sorry in advance for what I know is gonna be a long post. Just had an appointment with the consultant yesterday that has left me upset, frustrated and confused. It really was the most horrible experience and I?m now terrified that this is the kind of care I can expect for the rest of my pregnancy.
The only positive thing about it was that I got to hear the babies heart beat for the first time. For 2 whole seconds - before she yanked the scanner away. Talk about killing the magic right off the bat!
I was referred to her by the midwife at the hospital (UCH) 1. because of my asthma and 2. because my last smear test showed abnormal cells. So on count 1. she asked me if I'd ever been hospitalised with asthma and that was it. Didn't ask me how often I'm taking my medicine. Didn't even listen to my lungs - which aren't sounding too good at the moment - another bloody cold! Just said my asthma could get worse or it could get better. This is exactly what the midwife said, so if no one cares to do an assessment of my asthma then why was that a reason for my being referred to a consultant?
And on count 2. she decided to do another smear test - after first saying she couldn't do anything because she didn't have any of my medical records and implying this was somehow my fault because I'd had my original smear & subsequent colposcopy done privately. (I was referred to her 5 weeks ago! Why didn't she have time to get my records from my GP?!)
So she does this test on an exam table squeezed into the corner with another smaller table at the foot of the exam table where she can't even get round to the foot of the table. Has me undress with nothing to cover myself. Then she proceeds to gauge out my pubic bone with the speculum. And when I told her it really hurt she said. "That's because you're tense. You have to relax." Yep. That REALLY calmed me down. Don't know how you're supposed to relax with some strange person bending over your legs because there's no room at the foot of the bed where she belongs? She did the test and I look down at what she's been scraping around inside me and it's some kind of flat wood thing? Errr...don't they usually use a long cotton bud thing? Christ. Then she didn't even leave the room for me to get dressed.
She kept telling me it was uncomfortable because I was tense and this was pushing my cervix downward. I happen to have a tilted uterus and my cervix tilts down naturally. I can only think that if the exam had been done on a table with a bit more room then she wouldn?t have had that problem? I?ve never understood why in America they put you in stirrups for a smear test so they can have a good look and in the UK they seem to just hope for the best. Incidentally, I?ve never had a doctor have a problem getting my cervix into the right position in any internal exam in America. (Not wanting to start a debate on who has better care though as there are plusses and minuses of both systems)
So now I?m waiting to get the results of the smear test and she says if it comes back abnormal again then she?ll refer me for another colposcopy. I don?t even know what the point in that is since they won?t do anything about mildly abnormal cells while I?m pregnant anyway?
I?ve left out a lot of details ? all the verbal exchanges which were terse and rather confrontational. From the beginning she had a ?What do you expect me to do about it attitude.? And the whole thing was rushed ? she was actually trying to question me about my asthma in between doing the smear test and me trying to get dressed (no privacy) whilst tripping over my knickers ? which is why I didn?t exactly have the courage to be more assertive about the problems I?ve had.
Afterwards I met my partner for lunch and ended up crying all through the first course. I didn?t even realise how upsetting the whole thing was until after it was over. Can?t believe I actually thanked the b*tch before I left.
So just a few things I?m wondering:
- She didn?t weigh me or measure the height of my uterus. Aren?t they supposed to do that at every appointment?
- Is 2 seconds enough to determine the baby?s heart is beating normally?
- Why the hell was the smear test so painful?!
- What can I do about it? Should I make a complaint or is this pretty much acceptable NHS behaviour?
- What can I do to ensure I don?t ever have to see that woman or repeat that kind of experience again?
Again sorry this post is really long. But any comments welcome.
Thanks for listening!