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Do you get treated differently with your second pregnancy, like it is less important?

(51 Posts)
PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 22:52:38

I am just curious really.

DH and I are going to try for our second baby (I get my implant removed next week).

When I was pg with DD, people were lovely, I was given lots of support, bought bg books, directed to websites, asked how I was feeling, bought little gifts for imminent baby, people checked out what I could and could not eat if they were cooking, and if they were drinking wine with dinner, I would get nice fruit juice. DH would do lots for me, spoilt me rotten at times, foot massage. blah blah blah.

Do people think, oh its your second, you been there before, old hat now. And take less of an interest?

Did you get as excited about your second pg and imminent LO? Did your partner?

I am very excited about the prospect of another baby, and I guess, would like other people to be too, but wonder if they will.

thisisyesterday Sun 11-Jan-09 22:54:18

yes, people do take less of an interest. (tis even worse with number 3 lol)
not all people though, my mum and dad were over the moon as we'd alwayts said we would only have one child lol so they were chuffed to bits all over again.

but most people I found weren't quite as excited as first time round
I was though, definitely, in fact, almost more excited than with the first, partly becuas I knew what was to come.

gigglewitch Sun 11-Jan-09 22:55:54

was going to say exactly the same as TIY - the second one is uninteresting, and should you decide to go there, a third one is totally boooo-ring, and even attracts "er, what - again" style comments hmm

EachPeachPearMum Sun 11-Jan-09 22:56:11

yes- a bit... but tbh- you don't have time for the excitement like you did the first time round- your toddler takes up too much time!

I haven't packed my hospital bag yet for example (am 38 weeks) blush

Good luck though Pav! grin

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 22:58:44

Thanks thisisyesterday. Shame isnt it?

DH has said a couple of things that make me think he is less I don't know, not less interested, but more blase about it - like, oh you will be fine with a runny egg, they are not likely to have salmonella in, tested so vigorously these days - when I was pg with DD, I did not eat runny eggs, and he ensured I did not either! Same with alcohol - I hardly had any, and if I did have a glass, DH would fuss, you ok to have that hun? Small glass eh? - now, he is like, you don' have to give up alcohol completely, a couple of glasses here and there is fine! hmm.

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:00:20

Each - then, to be honest, you would need more help when pg with no.2 or no.3, not less!

Thanks. And good luck yourself, and GET PACKED!

sleepycat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:01:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleboyblue Sun 11-Jan-09 23:01:35

Yes, less interest generally here too. With the first, dp did everything for me. Everything, this time, nothing! angry
Friends/family also don't make as much of an effort to constantly check on me, but in all honesty I think it has alot to do with how we (the pregnant again ones) are towards it. I know that I am alot more relaxed about this pregnancy, as I'm busy with ds all the time, I don't think about pg as often, it isn't the centre of my world iyswim, we don't lay in bed for an hour every night listening to the heart beat like we did last time, I don't talk about it constantly so I do think that other peoples attitudes reflect our own

Diva0507 Sun 11-Jan-09 23:07:59

i agree people do get less excited about it, dont get many presents because you are pg with no2. i think its common that people get more excited about first mum. specially as i was sahm when foud out pg with no2. i didnt have many friends and work collegue like before having dd. so it was just family, we told first. obvioucly other people found out later. but dh was the same as first time, i think it depends, some people will care less as they expect you deal with it. i had pretty much bad pregnancy second time around, so i was cared a lot. talk to your dh, and tell him he should care as much as he did first time
good luck, ttcing

MamaMaiasaura Sun 11-Jan-09 23:09:55

pav - yes and agree with tiy.

It isnt just family and firneds either. The midwifes etc too are much more .. umm relaxed.

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:10:16

littleboyblue - thats an interesting point.

I might just behave as if it was my first, and annoy everyone anyway!

Sleepycat - shock I hope you kicked him too!

DaisyMooSteiner Sun 11-Jan-09 23:13:54

You may find that you're not quite so riveted by the whole process the second time round too because you're so busy with the first - you know how with your first baby, when people ask how many weeks you are you can tell them to the number of days (and probably hours too, if they're very good friends wink). Second time round you say 'Erm.....25 I think' grin

sleepycat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:16:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepycat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:16:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepycat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:17:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WizzyWoo Sun 11-Jan-09 23:17:15

<<Waves to Pavlov>>

I agree that other people make less of a fuss about #2 but some of that may be because they don't necessarily need to buy you the same "starterpack" style gifts as they might think you'll still have things from #1. They also can't regale you with stories of their own pregnancy/labour as you've been there, done that, got the stretchmarks to prove it. When someone tells me that they're having another baby, I personally get just as excited as with their first.

In terms of DH and I, we're actually much more excited at thought of ttc/having #2 than we were with #1 as it was all a bit of a shock the first time round and as everything was new, we felt like we were completely clueless. Fingers crossed we both end up on the Oct 09 Graduates list soon smile

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:20:21

Wizzy - are you Jimmy? hmm You sound like Jimmy....<waves>

That is very true, about not needing the info, the things etc.

pgwithnumber3 Sun 11-Jan-09 23:20:37

I agree, your second pregnancy is just not the same as your first but I think you treat it totally different and don't expect as much from people as you do your first. I remember crying to my Mum that my brother or his wife hadn't called to ask me if I was okay for a few days when I was pregnant with DD1. Get to your third pregnancy and NO-ONE asks if you are okay! You just get on with it.

DH doesn't acknowledge this pregnancy. Doesn't mean he will love DD3 any less but he's been there, got the t-shirt etc. grin

pgwithnumber3 Sun 11-Jan-09 23:22:45

eachpeach I haven't even got a bag yet to pack my bits in and I am 37 weeks. Bag was packed by 30 weeks with DD1.

electra Sun 11-Jan-09 23:23:17

Actually I don't like people fussing over me when pg. This time I have got to 27 weeks and some of my friends still don't know....although it is a rather unusual situation in my case.

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:27:05

Electra - I quite enjoyed being fussed over! I did not milk it as such, but I certainly enjoyed it when it happened!

Oh you are having another girl pgwithnumber3?!!

EachPeachPearMum Sun 11-Jan-09 23:28:45

grin pgno3- I have a bag at least! Its just sitting in my bedroom, waiting for me to put something in it.

Its all a bit meh this time tbh. Has been a much harder pg for a start.

pgwithnumber3 Sun 11-Jan-09 23:29:21

I was told at scan I was. I have just had a mammoth thread on what name to have.

PavlovtheCat Sun 11-Jan-09 23:34:47

Each (sad) lots of people i know say the second pg was harder! I hope it won't be for me. Last pg was not hard as such, the pg itself was fine. BUT, I had horrendous morning sickness until 32 weeks, then had 3 weeks off, then bad morning sickness/indigestion until the day DD was born! Also, had issues with DD not growing as she should, scans, worry. Nothing was actually wrong, but did not know that.

pgwithnumber3 Sun 11-Jan-09 23:37:35

my third pg has been a piece of piss. Haven't even felt pregnant.

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