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Did you DP smoke while you were pregnant? What did you do?

(17 Posts)
LoveActually Wed 07-Jan-09 19:09:43

Have been a bit prolific today, must be becasue am days away from EDD!
My DP has managed to give up smoking twice but started again, last time he managed 3 weeks.
Thing is I am really paranoid about having smokers round my baby (due on Sunday). No one in my family smokes and although DP smokes outside I know chemicals can be passed from clothes to young baby. I can see it being an issue with FIL as well, he smokes about 40 a day and has the most horrific cough too.
Am I being unreasonable to ask both of them to refrain from smoking for half an hour before picking up baby.
I know DP will eventually give up, it took my father six times, but with FIL that won't happen...

cheesesarnie Wed 07-Jan-09 19:11:22

divorce him

CoteDAzur Wed 07-Jan-09 19:12:40

DH smokes outside. Leaves coat by the door and washes hands & face when he enters the house.

I don't think it's that big a deal, especially since smoke is mostly on coats/jackets these days (now that smoking is forbidden in all indoor spaces).

LoveActually Wed 07-Jan-09 19:15:40

Thanks Cote. He does wear a jacket and take it off when he comes back in the house.
Wondering if I can get FIL to do the same!! He's very stuck in his ways.
Thank God they have banned smoking in public places/ x

CoteDAzur Wed 07-Jan-09 19:18:53

Amen grin

hkz Wed 07-Jan-09 19:30:41

My DP is the same, he smokes outside. Am 39 weeks now with DC2 and since DC1 was born he has really cut back. The smell bothers me...

Maybe the arrival of dc will spur your dp on to quit... I really want DP to stop, but don't want to nag him into stopping (would prob have the opposite effect)...

As long as he doesn't bring them smell into the house and onto the baby I pretty much leave it... he's the only one that can chse to give up I guess. hmm

Good luck with DC! smile

LoveActually Wed 07-Jan-09 20:15:11

Thanks hkz, I spoke to him about it again over dinner just now. He's already got a supply patches/gum and inhaler on prescription from the NHS stop smoking service and is intending to use them after our daughter is born! Our nieces already nag him (they are 4 and 6) about his smoking, and I know it won't do any good. x

jkklpu Wed 07-Jan-09 20:20:28

not just on clothes - check this out
and they really stink - tell dp that you don't want your perfect, sweet-smelling lo to smell as he does

fruitstick Wed 07-Jan-09 20:25:34

My DH tried to give up several times before DS was born but to no avail. He really tried when he actually arrived but, to be honest, it was no time to attempt it and he lasted about 10 days. You really need him to be as supportive as he can possibly be, not tetchy and anxious because of the lack of fags.

He has stopped twice for 6 months in the last 3 years and so annoying when he starts again.

DC2 is due in 6 weeks and DH gave up at New Year so hopefully he will do well this time.

What has really spurred him on is that he hates DS seeing him smoke. Although he smokes in the garden DS would stand at the door and cry because he wanted to be with him - and our garden is so small there is nowhere he could stand where he wouldn't be seen.

Make him take his coat off when he comes in (useful at this time of year) and just ask him not to pick the baby up immediately he walks through the door.

dan39 Wed 07-Jan-09 20:33:21

There was a thread on this a while ago, might be worth trying to dig it out. There was lots of stuff on health, interesting arguments about exposure to other pollution etc ie along the lines of 'never go out in traffic as its toxic too' - but I know all this and still don't want my our baby to smell!

My DH smokes - not til after 5pm - and is not really talking about stopping, which pisses me off to be honest but I also know from friends that only he can decide he will stop and me nagging won't work. I am 35 weeks, and he too smokes outside but does smell when he comes in...I don't want babe to smell but I am not sure I can insist he leaves her alone!! To be fair to him he has done some reading around about it, BUT is also very cynical about studies done (and I do in fact agree with him that you almost NEVER get a balanced view with the pro- and anti- smoking lobbies.

My own concern is about SIDs which claims links with smokers..

dan39 Wed 07-Jan-09 20:35:32

Oh and for the record I think you can be direct with FIL (poss via dh?) as this is YOUR baby. My (estranged) mum stinks of fags and I would really hate to think of her cuddling my baby - she sent clothes at xmas that I had to wash as they stank coming out of the parcel!!

<<<ponders on own issues re estranged mother for a moment...>>>

LoveActually Fri 09-Jan-09 17:04:37

Hi, picking up this thread again. Dan39 you pointed out SIDs, that's what I am really worried about. My DP is determined to give up, he says..
jkl, thanks for the BBC link, I'm going to send that to FIL! via DP. xx

whinegums Fri 09-Jan-09 17:21:53

DP smoked while I was pg, and then said he WOULDN'T stop smoking inside when DS was born. Of course he did, but I posted on AIBU about it - was probably May/June time before DS was born.

Someone posted a really useful link to the US Surgeon General report on passive smoking which I gave to DP as he was being --a pain in the arse-- obtuse about the risks. Don't know if dan39 is referring to my thread, but DP certainly threw out the line about traffic pollution etc.

As an ex-smoker, I agree it's really difficult to stop, especially when stressed, and the more people nag, the more stubborn one gets.

Good luck LoveActually, and I hope your DP does manage to stop.

Joolsiam Fri 09-Jan-09 18:06:03

My DP smokes only when he has a glass of wine in his hand, which is every night after work - while I was PG, it got to the point where the smell was making me physically sick and we had rows about it as I would leave the room - he thought I was making a fuss over not very much as he only has 3 or 4 fags in the evening.

I miscarried at 11+4 and a little voice in the back of my head wonders if passive smoking had a hand in it - if when I get another BFP, either he is smoking outside, or we're not sitting on the same floor of the house in the evenings It is a small terraced cottage and wherever I am in the house, I can smell it to some degree though

ComeWhineWithMe Fri 09-Jan-09 18:12:15

We have lived here for 10 years and dp has never ever smoked in this house ,he goes outside even if he wants a smoke at 3am i the morning and its snowing grin.

LoveActually Fri 09-Jan-09 18:12:49

Hello Jools,
Am sorry to hear about that, I wouldn't have thought passive smoking would bring on a mc?
I passed my DP the BBC link but he's not wanting me to nag him and says he will give up.

LoveActually Fri 09-Jan-09 18:15:03

He has to smoke outside, but even so when he comes back in house he does smell (even taking off the jacket). I really do hate that smell. Is as much about me as baby. I know it's a horrible addiction, am hoping one day they will ban cigarettes completely.

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